


Another Life

by shannyfish



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Archery, Awkwardness, Confusion, Coping, Denial of Feelings, Diggle knows everything, Double Life, Dubious Consent, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Escape, F/M, Feelings, Feels, Felicity Smoak POV, Felicity Smoak feels, Flashbacks, Future Fic, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Lian Yu, Literal Sleeping Together, Mental Breakdown, Oliver Queen POV, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Queen Mansion, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sara is awesome, Team Arrow, Team as Family, Therapy, Walter Steele mentioned, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 07:08:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 57,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity Smoak made a decision three years ago.  It was hard, but she did what she thought would keep the people in her life alive and safe.  After all that time, she's not sure she can remain the content prisoner...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Life I Chose

**Author's Note:**

> I always add more tags as we go. Sometimes I feel like the tags give away too much when you're reading it as chapters go up. :) Thanks to serenitymeimei for being so kind as to read this and fix errors after I wrote this way too late each night! :D <3

“There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.

But sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life. 

That is the sort of bravery I must have now.”   
~ Veronica Roth, Allegiant

 

. . .

 

This was never how she saw her life. She was certain that a lot people felt that way. In truth, Felicity Smoak had thought that she may very likely be dead by 2016. Here she was, partly alive but for a long time she’d felt like she was mostly dead. Three years had gone by so quickly, but Felicity was sure that it only felt that way because she’d been so sickly all this time. 

As she stared at herself in the mirror, she thought about how differently her life might have been if she’d made different choices. There was still time, she could still make different ones. But could she handle the consequences that would come with them? She’d kept the people that she loved so dearly safe… The trade had been her own life, which she’d quickly and easily made. Felicity brushed through her blonde hair and tried to keep her tears back. If he saw them, he’d punish her...and she’d become so good at hiding her pain and suffering. 

“There’s my beautiful wife.”

She closed her eyes and tilted her head downward as she continued to brush her locks. Felicity sucked in breath and opened her eyes. She needed to pretend. It was what kept her alive, what kept them all alive. His hand ran along the side of her head, through her hair, and to her shoulder before she looked up with a fake smile. 

“I had thought that maybe you weren’t coming until morning,” she told him. Felicity got to her feet and reminded herself, like always, that this was worth it. This was worth everything that she’s sacrificed her life for. She got to her feet and the back of his hand caressed her cheek for a moment before his lips were on hers. She kissed him back knowing what would come if she refused him. 

His hands were suddenly under her shirt, moving upwards. His mouth moved to her jaw and she knew what he wanted. Felicity wished that he’d been away longer on his ‘business’. “Where is she?” he questioned. 

“With the babysitter… You had said that you wanted me to take one day a week,” she said, suddenly worrying about what he would see. Olivia was fifteen months old and though she hated to be parted from her daughter, it was nice to have some time to herself. He still hated that name, but he’d allowed Felicity to name her that anyways. Felicity tensed a bit, waiting for his rage. Instead of his hand striking her face, he caressed it again and his lips traveled down to her throat. 

“You deserve a day to pamper yourself,” he insisted. His hands moved lower to her skirt and pushed it up. “And obviously I came home on the right day… Now, I can enjoy you…”

Felicity closed her eyes and let him do what he wanted. She tried to think of where she’d rather be. She thought of happier times. She thought about what her life might be like if things were different. 

His hands all over her were too much to completely push out though. He was unbuttoning her blouse as he kissed her neck. It was discarded to the floor only moments before her bra dropped as well to join it. “You don’t know how much I miss you when I’m away,” he mumbled against her skin as he kissed along her shoulder as he pushed down her skirt and panties. 

She wanted to scream out, but she knew she couldn’t. Felicity had thought that her body would have grown accustomed to his punishment after all she’d taken when she’d first agreed to stay with him, but she swore she was even more sensitive. Thinking about it too much she sometimes felt the pain just as if he were inflicting it on her at that moment.

“You missed me, didn’t you?” he asked as one of his hands trailed down her stomach. 

Felicity held back the tears. She knew that she could get through this, like she always did. Most of the time she could just stand or lay there or whatever and just let him do what he wanted, but right now she knew that she needed to act so as to not anger him. Her hands reached up and one ran through his hair while the other caressed his cheek as her lips found his. She closed her eyes and kept the kiss going as his hand continued lower. 

“I always miss you,” she forced out. Felicity opened her eyes and could see the lust in his eyes. She reached down and took his hand just before it managed to reach where she knew it was headed. She pulled him towards her bed and just hoped that his stamina wasn’t as high as it sometimes was. Felicity turned when the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. She could tell that he didn’t need much foreplay. He was ready now and he made that known when he pushed her back onto the bed and started to undress. So, she just lay there and waited…

 

. . .

 

Felicity may have made the choice to stay with him in order to protect those she loved, but after a few months he’d allowed her more and more freedoms. He knew now that she wouldn’t leave, even if she thought about it on a daily basis. Today she was out with Olivia, she’d insisted that he let her do some shopping. It was nice to get out and do normal things. 

“Mama...apple…” Olivia repeated over and over again as Felicity pushed her around in the cart. Her little girl had bright blue eyes and blonde hair and tried to talk at everyone who passed by.

“We’re going to buy apples,” Felicity told her with a smile. 

So, she took her time...a lot of time...and shopped. She really didn’t get that much, but it had been a nice change of scenery. As she loaded up her items onto the conveyer belt, she froze when she noticed a magazine. She saw them all the time, but this was the first time that she could remember where they had something about Oliver Queen in it. Felicity looked over and noticed that there were still two people ahead of her and with everything up on the belt, she grabbed the magazine and started to leaf through it. 

‘Oliver Queen Engaged’ the headline read. Felicity didn’t want to believe it. It wasn’t that she didn’t want Oliver to be happy, she did. It was just that she didn’t think that Oliver should be with Isabel Rochev. The last she remembered, Isabel was still not their best friend. She’d tried to take over Queen Consolidated and she generally always looked angry. This time was obviously no different. There were pictures of her and Oliver together, obviously at a black tie event, and there were pictures of Isabel wearing a rather endowed ring on her left ring finger. 

Putting the magazine back, she immediately started to push away the tears. She knew it was stupid. It wasn’t even that she didn’t think that that was right, it was that she missed him...Diggle...she missed that life. The only good thing in her life right now was Olivia and she wouldn’t wish her away for anything, but how Felicity wished that she could be home in that world… She wished for safety, even if it wasn’t guaranteed. 

She checked out and tried to stop herself from thinking about it. Felicity really didn’t need to break down...most of all she didn’t need to look like she’d done so by the time she returned to the house. As she was leaving the grocery store, she stopped suddenly when she spotted a pay phone. You didn’t see those everywhere like you used to. Everyone had a cell phone. Felicity didn’t have a cell phone. 

Home.

Felicity pushed her cart over to the phone and grabbed her purse. She opened a ziploc bag she’d been carrying with cookies for Olivia. She handed her one in hopes that it would appease her for a little longer. Felicity knew that it was getting to lunchtime and her little girl was used to a schedule. She picked up the phone and deposited the correct amount of change before dialing the number. She listened as it rang a few times and then hung up quickly. Tears fell from her face and she covered her mouth as a sob escaped. She glanced around to make sure that she wasn’t drawing anyone’s attention. All that she wanted was to go home. 

Three years.

When she’d first agreed, she’d thought that he’d kill her. She never thought that they’d live a lie of a life. Felicity forced herself to breathe. She’d noticed that Olivia had stopped eating her cookie and was pulling on her sleeve. “Mommy’s okay,” she whispered and hugged Olivia before kissing her forehead. “And Mommy loves you…”

“Mama…”

Felicity stared down at Olivia for a long moment. He’d never hurt Olivia, but that didn’t keep Felicity from worrying about it. He wasn’t the man that he would have picked for her husband or for the father of her child. Olivia deserved better. They both did. 

“Let’s go,” she whispered sadly. 

 

. . .

 

Since her almost phone call home, she’d been depressed. Luckily, he’d been away on business again. That was always her favorite time. It wasn’t like she was left completely alone, he had her guarded, but it meant that she didn’t have to perform in any way for him. She could be sad and not force a smile on her face and she didn’t have to worry about his wants or ‘needs’. 

“Honey! I’m home!” 

Felicity sighed and kissed Olivia’s head. She’d been rocking her for about thirty minutes, just humming to her. One thing that she missed was having television. He’d forbidden it and so she spent much of the day entertaining Olivia, which she loved, but still...every now and then she wouldn’t mind some time where something else could entertain the toddler for a bit. It was hard enough for her to use the bathroom or shower without Olivia whining at her from her crib.

“Hey...what’s wrong?” 

She looked up and pressed a smile forward. “I just..I...I missed you,” she finally spit out. He seemed far too happy at her response. He moved over to them and leaned down and kissed her and then kissed Olivia’s cheek. 

“I missed my girls…” He smiled at them. “And...I’m going to be home for a while…” He leaned down and took Olivia from her arms. It always made her uneasy. He talked to her while he bounced her as he walked. 

From what Felicity could tell, they made him happy. She didn’t know if it was actually them or if it was the semblance of having a family...having what he’d lost. Felicity was certain that she could go deeper into that, but she hated to get caught thinking about everything else that he could be thinking in concerns of how they fit into his plan. 

“I already called the babysitter,” he said as he looked back at her. “I know I’ve neglected you for far too long… You’ve been such a good wife...and I missed our anniversary… So, tonight, I’m taking you out…”

“I wouldn’t mind staying in,” she said as she got to her feet. She really didn’t feel like going out and pretending to celebrate something she didn’t feel like celebrating. 

“We’re going out… I already made the reservations. You’re going to wear that dress I like,” he instructed. His tone left no room for arguing or discussing. “Why don’t you go ahead and take a nice long bubble bath?” 

“Olivia was going to go down for a nap--”

“I can handle it,” he said quickly.

Felicity stared at him for a moment. She wasn’t fussing, but it still worried her. “Okay…”

“And I’m going to have the babysitter stay overnight… I’m going to have her stay with Olivia in the guest room on the other side of the house… That way,” he said with a smile. “You and I can have our night…”

“But Olivia is used to sleeping in my room,” she said quietly.

“Well, she’s growing… It’s not going to hurt her to sleep in another room with the babysitter for one night, is it?”

She suddenly was worried of angering him far too much. She knew that she was already pushing it opening her mouth and saying anything other than ‘yes’ and ‘thank you’. “I’ll go take that bath,” she said slowly. 

 

. . .

 

Felicity really hated him. 

He’d treated her to a beautiful dinner and she’d forced herself to smile through it and act like the loving wife. Felicity was dreading going home, but she knew that it was unavoidable. She was also dreading the fact that he seemed to make it sound like he was going to be ‘home’ for a long while. That made it so much harder for her to bear to even live when he was always there. It was harder for her to be the good wife… It was harder for her to keep up the charade.

“I think it’s time that you and I talk about something,” he said as he led her into her room. He had a room there, but when he wanted sex, it was always in her bed. So, Felicity washed her sheets all the time when he was ‘home’. He made her feel dirty and made her hate to look at herself in the mirror in the morning. 

“About what? Are we moving?” she asked. “I thought that you said we wouldn’t move anymore...as long as we’re safe…” This was the third place they’d lived in three years. The first place he’d had her at was a warehouse. That’s where he’d tortured her. Then they lived in what Felicity swore was a drug house. Now they lived in this beautiful house with a backyard and it had been the closest that she’d felt to living a normal life.

He moved her over to her dresser and the made her face the mirror that was mounted above it on the wall. His hands snaked around his waist. His head rested on her shoulder and she just watched him in the mirror. “You and I… We’re so blessed, I know. And I know, I know I haven’t been here enough for you and Olivia…but, I was thinking,” he said as he moved one of his hands up to rest right under her breasts while the others moved down the silky fabric of her dress and stopped below her belly button. “That it was time...for us to work on adding to our family…” He kissed her neck then.

Panic flooded her. Felicity stared at her wide eyed reflection and spoke before she thought. “No.”

“Excuse me?”

She could see anger rising in him. He didn’t like it when she said ‘no’, but she just didn’t think she could do it. Felicity didn’t want to bring another child into this world and have him for a father. She just couldn’t. “I--I can’t--I don’t think I’m ready,” she stuttered as tears flooded her face. He turned her around to face him. He cupped her cheeks. “Please…”

“Olivia is fifteen months old. Now is the best time to give her a little brother, don’t you think so?”

“Please…” she begged. “Can’t we just wait?”

“Felicity, don’t you remember what you promised me?”

Her eyes closed and Felicity didn’t care that she was crying and sobbing and out of control. She hated him. She wanted to go home. She didn’t want this. Felicity didn’t want to be the reason that the people she cared about died...but this… She dropped to her knees, her hands on the side of his hips. She stared up at him, she was certain that her make-up was smeared everywhere. “Please… Please… I just--I can’t… Not right now…”

He smacked her across the face and hauled her up to her feet before throwing her in the direction of her bed. “Is this how you treat me after everything I’ve done for you? After the beautiful night I took you out on?”

Felicity just sobbed on the bed. She knew that it was just angering him more, but all of her life for the last three years had been a lie and she didn’t want it to be harder. 

“You know I’ve been sick,” she sobbed. And she had been. Before she had Olivia, there were complications. She’d been so fatigued and on bedrest. Once she had Olivia, she’d had a hard time recovering. Felicity blamed him keeping her ‘home’ instead of taking her to a hospital. Every now and then a doctor would come in to see her, always a different one, but they never said what was wrong with her.

“And right now you’re well! It’s the perfect time to have a son for me!” he bellowed. 

“Please…”

 

. . .

 

He wasn’t a man who was told what to do. He was a man who took what he wanted. And he had...far too many times. Felicity had lay in bed after he’d finally left it and had just stared up at the ceiling crying. She’d waited until she was sure that he’d been asleep for some time before showering and taking more than enough time to clean herself. The water was too hot, but it felt better than laying in bed feeling dirty. 

She was getting a bottle of water out of the fridge when she stopped in the kitchen. Up against the wall on the counter was a knife block. Felicity just stared at it for a long moment. She crossed the room and pulled one of the knives from the block. She left the water bottle on the counter.

Slowly, she moved through the house until she came to his door. So carefully that it was almost too painfully slow, she opened it. Felicity stood in the doorway and could see him lying in bed and seemed fast asleep. She knew that with him in the house, there would be no guards inside. There were only guards inside when he was away. The only guards would be outside. So, she knew that she didn’t have to worry about people interrupting what she was about to do. 

She’d never killed anyone before.

Felicity pulled in a deep breath and then padded to his bedside. She raised the knife in one hand and aimed for his heart. Her hand shook and she tried to stay as quiet as possible as she tried to keep her calm and nerve. If he was dead, then she could go home. If he was dead, he couldn’t hurt those she loved. If he was dead, he couldn’t hurt her. If he was dead…

Before she could react, his eyes snapped open and he grabbed her hand. They struggled and she cried out. Within seconds, he had her pinned against the wall with the knife at her throat. She could feel it against her skin and could feel that it was pressed just enough to make her bleed.

“I thought that I’d made it clear…”

“I--I--I… Please…” she pleaded. 

“I should kill you,” he roared into her face.

Tears spilled and she knew that he should, but she didn’t want to leave Olivia in that world with him and her not there to protect and care for her. “You should…” she whispered. “But you won’t…”

“You’re right...at least not yet…” he said quietly. He dragged along by her hair as he grabbed something from a drawer and then took her in the direction of her room. “I’m going to have to teach you a lesson, Felicity… This is going to hurt me more than it will you…”

Lies.

Once again, he threw her on her bed, but this time it was face down. Since she’d just showered, she was in panties and a t-shirt. That was it. Felicity froze and waited. She knew that she couldn’t risk angering him anymore. The whip came down and she bit her lip. Felicity knew that she couldn’t scream… The flesh of her thighs below her panties stung. This wasn’t the first time he’d done this. 

“Tomorrow, you’re going to act like my wife…” he said all too calmly before leaving her.

Felicity grabbed a pillow and screamed into it and just lost it. It was all too much. Her skin screamed and she knew that it was going to be hard to wear pants, which he wouldn’t think was a problem since he preferred she wear skirts anyways. It wasn’t just wearing pants that was going to be hard, but she knew how badly it would hurt for her to walk as well. She swore it was one of the reasons why that was one of the areas that he’d started to use when the whip came out. It had been so long...but really, it felt like it was the first time. Felicity didn’t think she’d ever get used to it. 

 

. . .

 

She hadn’t slept. 

When she finally rose from her bed, she stared at her reflection in the mirror for far too long. Her make up had run and smeared all over. She was a mess even though she’d showered. She’d been more concerned about feeling clean and had forgotten to clean her face, which was probably why her face looked like it had melted. Felicity knew that she had to act like nothing had happened last night. That was harder than it sounded. 

So, she started to go through the steps. Felicity washed her face, brushed her teeth, put on her make up, and then brushed through her hair before moving to her closet and dresser. Today she had to be on her best behavior...as much as it would kill her. So, she selected a dress that she didn’t wear often. It was a light, red dress that was suitable with a sweater for just going out to the store, but was also short and cut in ways that she knew that would drive him crazy on its own. She really didn’t want to encourage him, but she knew that she had to do better today… She needed him to think it was some kind of ‘episode’ or ‘break’, which he tended to blame on hormones, which she was fine with if it meant that he would overlook things like last night.

Felicity was pulling out a pair of slip-ons to try to keep it casual in case she decided to go out of the house. It was one thing that he’d refused her. Felicity had gotten somewhat used to living without her contacts or glasses, it was a blurred reality, but she knew how to do everyday things which included driving. She didn’t drive much, but when she did, it wasn’t far and it was always slowly and in the middle of the day. She did miss being able to see the world clearly, her eyes would sometimes try to strain in order to compensate but it just wasn’t the same. Her glasses had been broken when he’d taken her and he’d refused to get her a replacement pair or lenses. She didn’t understand why, but just chalked it up to another way that he could control her. 

“You know I hate to punish you.”

She froze at his voice. Felicity sucked in breath as she closed her eyes and then let it out slowly. She opened her eyes, put on a smile, and then turned to him. “I know,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean--”

“I know you were scared...and you were only acting out,” he said. He sounded understanding, but she couldn’t be sure that he really was. For all she knew, he was still angry with her. After all, not only had she told him ‘no’ about having another child, which really hadn’t helped anything, but he’d also woken up to her over his bed with a knife. He closed the distance between them and touched her cheek. “This might be a sign that you’re falling ill again…” he said and she could see that he seemed to look worried.

“I feel fine,” she insisted.

“Just the same, I’d prefer that you stay inside,” he told her. 

“I was going to go out later… To the bookstore…” she said slowly and a bit sadly. She really had been feeling like a prisoner even more lately. She’d purposely chalked up all kinds of excuses in order to get out of the house. This had been one of them and she’d been really excited about it. Felicity had four books and she’d reread them all far too many times. 

“Well, we’ll have to see about that… Maybe I can drive you,” he said. “But I don’t want you leaving the house without clearing it without me first, do you understand?”

Felicity just nodded and looked down.

“This is for your safety, Honey,” he said and kissed her cheek. 

She hated him.

She wished that she’d had enough courage to have stabbed him while he slept in his bed last night. 

But she’d never taken a life.

Felicity just nodded. “Okay… I just… I wanted a few new books and I thought it might be a good idea to get some for Olivia… I only have one book for her and even though she loves to hear it, I think having something new would be good for her.”

“Of course, of course…”

“I am sorry…”

“I know you are,” he said. “Why don’t we go eat breakfast? Olivia is already up and running around.”

Her daughter was really her only anchor. She nodded again. “Okay,” she said quietly. 

“I’ll even make it,” he added far too cheerily before kissing her cheek again, taking her hand, and leading her out of her room.

 

. . .

 

He drove them to the bookstore and she went straight in and back to the children’s section with Olivia. He’d already told her that he’d be at the store next to it in order to find a gift for her. Felicity was not excited. Whatever he gave her, it wouldn’t be what she really wanted. Every step she took, made her ache. She looked over books with Olivia and choose three before making her way towards the front of the store and she section that she wanted to look through. As she looked through the section, she had Olivia on her hip holding her soon to be new books and the diaper bag slung over the other shoulder. She really didn’t know how a twenty-five pound child could feel like two hundred. Felicity was about to give up on finding a few new selections for her book collection, but something caught her eye. Right behind her was the cafe section of the bookstore. There were tables and chairs and she’d noticed a cell phone that was in plain sight at the edge. 

Could she do it?

Felicity knew that if she did this, she wasn’t just putting her life at risk...she was putting others at risk as well. If they had enough of a head’s up though, Felicity thought that maybe they could be protected. She hoped so because she wanted so desperately to go home and to have Olivia somewhere safe. “Time for you to join Team Arrow,” she whispered to Olivia before kissing the side of her head. She took the books from Olivia, who immediately started to whine, and set them on the bookshelf. 

She made her way around to where the opening to the cafe was. Felicity tried to hush Olivia and bounce her at the same time. As she passed the table that she had spied the phone on, she ‘accidentally’ dropped her diaper bag along with the items that were on the top. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” she said as she set Olivia down for a moment. Olivia turned her whining into screaming. Felicity started to gather the discarded items, including those that had fallen onto the edge of the table.

“No, you’re fine…” the woman said and tried to help pick up some of the items.

“Thank you so much,” Felicity said as she grabbed the bag and slung it over her shoulder before grabbing Olivia. 

“You’re welcome.”

With that, Felicity set her eyes on the cafe door. An exit. She knew that this could cost her a lot or if could be the door to her freedom. Sucking in breath as she glided towards it, Felicity kissed Olivia before going through it. She looked in both directions before taking off quickly in the opposite direction of where she knew he would be. She’d only been there once or twice before, but she was fairly sure that there was a family restaurant in the direction she was heading. 

As much as she hated to steal from people, Felicity was fairly sure that if she got home, then she could reimburse the people who she would take things from. She made her way through a small sea of vehicles and stopped when she found a minivan with a car seat in the back. Felicity dropped the diaper bag along side the car, looked around to see if anyone would be witness and then looked for something to help her break the window. She just hoped that an alarm didn’t go off. She hadn’t seen a flashing light in the driver’s area, but that didn’t mean anything. There could still be an alarm. 

A rock.

Perfect.

Felicity made sure that she held Olivia away as she used all the force she could to bring the rock up against the window. It took three blows, but eventually it was enough to break it. She used the rock to break more of the glass in order to get down to the lock. Once the car was unlocked, she dropped the rock and opened the back sliding door. Felicity made quick work of stowing the bag between the two front seats and getting Olivia into the car seat. The car seat was forward facing instead of rear facing, but it would work. Felicity had no intentions of getting into an accident, though her driving at night was a lot more dangerous than driving during the day. 

In the driver’s seat, she leaned over and tried desperately to start the van. She had read about the mechanics of it and Diggle had shown her once, but it wasn’t the same as having the practice. Felicity heard people getting closer and tears ran down her face, her hands shook, and she just prayed for it to work as she manipulated the wires. Finally, the car’s engine roared to life. She pulled out of the space, being overly careful as she backed out. 

So far she felt like she was doing okay. 

He’d know soon that something was wrong though, so she knew that she needed to move fast. Felicity took the van out of the shopping center. She just headed in the direction that she knew was away from the house that she’d been kept in for all this time. She waited a good ten minutes before reaching into the diaper bag at a stop light. Felicity unwrapped the phone from Olivia’s spare shirt and started to dial the number that she’d dialed outside of the grocery store. She held it up to her ear and just hoped that after three years that it hadn’t changed.

“Hello?”

Felicity barely could hold it together. That voice. It was like she was already safe. Sobs escaped her lips and she tried to force her tears to stay put as she tried to focus on getting as far away as possible.

“Hello? How is this?”

“J--J--John?” she finally got out.

“Felicity?”

“I need your help.”

“Where are you?”

“I don’t know…”

“We’ve been looking for you--”

“He’s going to come after me… I don’t have long before we finds a way to get me back… John, I can’t do this anymore… Please, help me.”

“What do you see?”

And Felicity tried to strain her vision in order to see things a little more clearly. So far, it was all just basic things. Grocery stores and chain stores. Nothing that was a landmark. “Stores…”

“Can they track the phone you’re using?”

“I stole it,” Felicity admitted. “And the van I’m driving…”

“Good.”

“I really don’t feel that great about it.”

“We’ll take care of everything once you’re home and safe,” Diggle told her. “Can you talk me through tracing the location of the phone?” he asked.

Felicity saw something suddenly. She paused and waited. She was in between concentrating on the road and the lit sign she saw coming. “Wait… No, this can’t be right…”

“Felicity?”

“It says Central City… How could I have been that close?” 

“Right now, let’s concentrate on how to get you home as soon as possible.”

“Are you on the freeway?”

“No,” Felicity told him quickly. “I shouldn’t even be driving right now. I don’t have my glasses or my contacts...and it’s harder to fake it at night… I just had to get away.”

“Okay,” Diggle said. “Okay…” He paused. “I think I have your location on my tablet. As much as I would love to say to take a cab, we can’t trust anyone that we don’t know…”

“I don’t think I can drive all the way to Starling City like this,” Felicity confessed. She just didn’t feel safe. Plus, there was no way that this was the fastest way there. There was a possibility that he could use the traffic cameras to track her and it would just be easier with her on surface streets versus the freeway. 

“I think I know someone that could help,” Diggle said. “You hold on. I’m going to get on the other line.”

Felicity waited and just drove as she waited for Diggle to speak to her again. She couldn’t believe that all this time she’d been so close. She’d always thought that he’d hidden her away across the country. She knew that there had to have been signs of her location at places like the grocery store and the bookstore, but she’d stopped thinking about that early on, which was before she’d been given so many freedoms. She’d been terrified of how he could hurt her...so she’d just purposely been ignorant. It was easier that way, plus the lack of glasses made that easy.

“Felicity?”

“I’m here…”

“There’s going to be a club coming up on your right. It’s called Crimson. The sign is bright red and the lettering is black. It should be coming up in a minute. You shouldn’t be able to miss it.”

“I think I see it,” she said, suddenly feeling so much calmer. 

“I’ve got people waiting for you. They’re going to bring you home.”

“Who?”

“Turn, Felicity…”

Apparently, Diggle was working as Garmin too and wanted to ensure that she didn’t miss her turn. Felicity turned into the parking lot and stopped and looked around. It didn’t help that it was so dark.

“They see you, Felicity. Put the van in park and open your door.”

“How will I know--”

“You’re safe,” his voice was immediately familiar and when he helped her out of the car and got closer she smiled. Felicity turned to the side and noticed that there were two there to save her. Roy and Thea. She was just glad that they were in the right place at the perfect time.

Thea put an arm around her. “Let’s get you into our car.”

“No,” Felicity said quickly. 

“Go with them,” Diggle said.

Felicity ended the phone call and Roy took the phone from you. “Olivia...she has to come with me…” she said and reached back into the car to grab the diaper bag. 

“You have a baby?” Roy asked. “You’re all about surprising us tonight.” 

She made her way around to the other side of the van and pulled Olivia out of the car seat. She was so thankful that Thea and Roy didn’t ask any questions. Instead, they pulled the car seat out and got her and Olivia into their car. Roy pulled the van, with the cell phone inside, around to the back of the club before heading back to them. 

“You’re not bleeding, right? Or dying?” Roy questioned when he got back into the car.

Felicity just stared in his direction. “No…”

“Good, Diggle said to bring you directly to him.”

“What about Oliver?” Felicity asked. She suddenly realized that nothing had been said about Oliver. Diggle hadn’t seemed to be with him and nothing had been said. Diggle had said that ‘we’ve been looking for you’ and she’d assumed that he meant Oliver too. 

“He’s sort of been...not his self...for the last several months,” Thea said. “He’ll be there, but Digg wanted you there first… It’s a long story…”

“Thank you,” Felicity told them.

“Really,” Roy said as he started the car. He looked back for a moment. “We should be the ones thanking you.” 

Felicity didn’t know what he meant, but she was sure that she’d find out. Right now she was just happy to be heading home. She felt a weight lift from her knowing that she wasn’t endangering Olivia with her possibly reckless driving so late...and that they’d be getting to Starling a lot faster than they would have if she’d been driving. 

Breathe, she thought.

She suddenly felt like she was going to start crying. Emotions were flooding her and she was just trying to keep it together. 

Home.

They were so close.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	2. The Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so my little one isn't feeling so great so it took me a little longer to get this done today... Hopefully you enjoy it :) Thanks again for all who have taken the time to read and comment!

His arms around her brought on the tears that she’d been holding inside. Felicity buried her face into his shoulder and clung to him. It was a ball of emotion that had hit her all at once. Maybe it was because she knew she was safe...safe under Verdant and safe with him. A hand was running through her hair while the other rubbed her back. It made her realize how real it was and how much she truly missed him. Everything she had done had been to help keep him safe, but she hadn’t expected to break down like this. It was one thing to be teary eyed, but this was so much more. 

“I missed you,” she barely got out. It was then that she realized that she was sobbing. “It’s been so long.” 

Felicity couldn’t believe that it had been three years… To her, it seemed like none of them had changed. Though, without her clear vision, she couldn’t tell for sure. Oliver’s whining pulled her attention and Felicity pulled from Diggle before looking back towards where Thea and Roy were trying to entertain the little girl. 

“Who’s this?” Diggle asked. 

“Olivia,” Felicity said without missing a beat. She took Olivia from Roy and Thea and bounced her for a moment and placed a kiss on her forehead before looking back towards him. “She’s my daughter.”

“Felicity--”

“Maybe we should let her settle in,” Thea spoke up before Diggle could continue with what he had started to say. 

Felicity looked between them and she felt a little uneasy. She didn’t know if it was because she felt like they were keeping something from them or if it was just odd… Odd because Oliver wasn’t there and obviously Roy and Thea had been clued in on Oliver’s identity as Arrow and where they spent their nights. She wondered how that had gone over…

“I have something,” Diggle said as he approached her. “I’ve been holding onto these…” He held out something to her.

For a moment, she just stared, but then reached out after adjusting Olivia so that she was on her hip. When she grasped it, she knew exactly what he was giving her. Her glasses, which he’d already opened for her. Felicity slid them on and suddenly the blurry world became clear again. She took a moment to look at all of them before looking around. 

Nothing had changed.

All of it was the same as she remembered.

“You guys really liked how I had it, didn’t you?” she said, mostly to herself.

“Did you really think we’d up and change things because you were gone?” Diggle asked. He walked up to stand alongside of her. 

“It’s been three years...I’m surprised that you haven’t upgraded some things…”

“Three years?” Diggle questioned. “Felicity, it’s been six months.”

“It’s been three years,” Felicity argued as she turned to face him. This wasn’t funny and he looked so serious. She had a fifteen month old daughter, she’d been pregnant for nine months, and she’d been held for a time before that. It had to have been more than six months. “That’s not funny, John,” she told him and felt panic rising inside of her. 

“We’re going to go...check on things upstairs,” Thea said suddenly. 

Diggle nodded and then wrapped an arm around her. “Do you really think that I’d say something like that if it wasn’t true? We’ve been looking for you. Oliver’s practically lost his mind looking for you. One day you were at Queen Consolidated and then you never showed up here...and we couldn’t find you… There was no trace of what had happened. Thea and Roy had to be brought in on the secret in order to help balance Oliver and keep all of our sanities.”

“I--I--I need to sit down,” she said as fresh tears fell from her face.

He guided her over to a chair and she sat down placing Olivia in her lap. She held her daughter close and kissed her head. No matter what he said, all she could think was that he was wrong. Felicity knew that Olivia was her daughter. She had to be.

“I promise you, I’m not trying to trick you or upset you,” Diggle said as he pulled over another chair and sat in it. “At least, not upset you on purpose.”

“How can it have been only six months?” she asked. 

Diggle motioned to the computer screen and it showed up at the right month and she figured the day was right, but he was right about the year. Felicity just stared at it, occasionally wiping tears away. And then it hit her, she hadn’t had her glasses… She hadn’t had television or radio. She hadn’t had access to a phone or a computer. When she’d gone out, she hadn’t ever picked up a newspaper or looked at her receipt. She suddenly felt stupid. There had been times where she could have known where she was and when she was, but she’d not wanted to try to make it harder for her to live in that life. Felicity had purposely lived ignorantly in order to keep herself safe as much as Olivia and those she loved.

“What happened? Where have you been? Who took you?”

“It’s--it’s a long story,” she said as she closed her eyes. 

“Felicity, I need to take you both to the hospital, I’m sure you know that,” Diggle told her. “I’m going to have to call Lance...I figured that he’s going to be the most familiar and delicate… But you haven’t been seen in six months...and Olivia…”

“You’re trying to ask me if I remember things with Olivia?” she questioned. “I was sick… I don’t remember details. There’s so much that is confusing and things that he filled in…” Felicity shook her head. “The last few months has been the best I’ve been--”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. 

“How long?”

Felicity hated to think about this, but she did. “He started to let me leave the house two months ago...and probably two months before that… I was feeling a lot better… There had been a doctor who would come by… I forget what he said had been wrong with me.”

“Do you remember his name?”

She frowned. “Doctor Masterson, I think,” she told him. Fresh tears fell. “She’s really not mine?” she asked as she stared down at Olivia. 

“You’ve taken care of her for part of her life...these last few months you’ve been her mother, but she was probably taken just like you… Maybe her parents have been looking for her just as much as we’ve been looking for you.”

It was like her life had been suddenly taken away. Felicity wasn’t sure how she was going to cope. Olivia had been everything in that world that she’d lived in. She knew that what he was saying made sense and what she thought was true didn’t add up. One thing she remembered was that she’d picked Olivia as her name in honor of Oliver and he had hated it, but he hadn’t made her change it. 

“John? What’s going to happen?” 

He looked worried and concerned, but he was there. That was what mattered the most. “I’m going to call Lance… We’ll meet him at the hospital. We’re going to tell him what happened.”

“I can’t--”

“Tell him that someone had you. That you thought Olivia was yours, but that since you’ve only been missing for six months that she can’t be. Tell him that you escaped. That you called me. That Roy and Thea picked you up and brought you home. Be vague with him. I doubt he’ll push for more details…” Diggle told her. “Thea and Roy can give him their reports later.”

“What about Olivia?” Felicity asked as she hugged her again.

“I’ll talk to Lance. While they figure out who she is...where she’s from...if she has family out there...I’ll try to convince him to put in a word for you to keep her… You’re the most familiar person to her right now and that means you’re in her best interest. That’s the best that I can do right now.” 

She could tell that he probably wished that he could do more, but she knew that this was going to be hard all around. Felicity still was struggling with the fact that it had been six months and not three years. She had a feeling that it was going to take her a lot longer to really sort that out and cope with it. Felicity didn’t even know how to prepare herself for having to hand Olivia over to someone else, even if they were her family. This had been her child, even if what Diggle was saying was true… She had been her mother for months now… 

“Where’s Oliver?” she asked after a minute. Felicity had seen the time on the desktop display and knew that the Arrow suit was there on the metallic mannequin, so where was Oliver? He should be there. All she could think of was that there was a Queen Consolidated event… It couldn’t be a family event because Roy and Thea were at Verdant and Diggle was there as well instead of being his bodyguard. 

“It’s a long story.”

“You said he--”

“I know what I said...and I promise that you’ll see Oliver, but I guarantee you that it’s going to be easier if we deal with Lance and the hospital now,” Diggle told her. 

“Everyone needs to be guarded,” Felicity told him as she thought about what he might do. She couldn’t bear if he hurt those that she’d tried to keep safe. 

“Oliver’s already covered,” Diggle told her. “I’ve doubled security at the house. Roy and Thea are going to head there once we leave… Then Lance will likely head over there after the hospital. See, completely covered.”

“He’s dangerous, John,” she told him quite seriously. They didn’t know. They didn’t understand. He would come after them all know. She’d broken her promise to him and now he’d go after those that she held closest to her heart. 

“Who is ‘he’ exactly?”

“He--he--” her voice broke. “I can’t--”

 

. . .

 

She could hear them in the hallway. Felicity was glad that Lance was getting there after she and Olivia had been examined. She just wanted to leave and she hoped that he wouldn’t keep her long. There were questions, though, that she knew that he’d want answered and she wouldn’t be able to do that. 

“So, she thinks the kid is hers?” she heard Lance say.

Diggle quickly responded. “I explained that it’s not possible. I was hoping that you’d figure out a way to let her hold onto the little girl until her family is located and whatever arrangements are made.”

“I’m not sure--”

“Felicity and the child need to be protected,” Diggle said. “Queen Mansion is going to be the best protection for both of them.”

“How much has she told you?”

“Not much.”

“But she’s okay?”

“I stepped out during the doctor’s exam,” Diggle said. “And Felicity hasn’t given them permission to tell me anything, so you know as much as I do.”

Felicity closed her eyes for a moment. She really didn’t know how she was going to explain everything to them...eventually. Right now, though, she redressed in the clothing she had come in with. The nurse said that they’d bring her Olivia once she was done. It made her anxious though. Diggle had promised to keep Olivia in his line of sight, but it was still hard.

The slight knock brought her attention away from slipping on her flats. She looked up and reached out to pull the curtain back. “I’m dressed,” she said and found herself even happy to see Lance. She knew he was a good guy, even if he hadn’t always been with Team Arrow. “It’s good to see you again, Officer Lance.”

“It’s good to see you, Ms. Smoak,” Lance replied and took a step in. “You have no idea how happy I was to hear that you were found alive. We couldn’t find any leads when Mr. Queen and Diggle contacted us about your disappearance though. I haven’t heard from our mutual friend, but I had to assume he was looking for you as well. I haven’t seen him lately,” Lance went on. He shrugged. “I haven’t seen him in a long, long while actually… I thought that maybe he moved on or maybe he was still out there looking for you.”

“Maybe he is…” she whispered.

“I know you must be exhausted with all you’ve gone through, but Mr. Diggle doesn’t seem to know much and it would be nice to have some answers.”

Felicity had dreaded this. She knew already that she couldn’t really tell Lance anything. In part it was to keep him safe and in part it was to keep herself safe. No one understood how extremely dangerous he was. He could bring down her whole world with a snap of his finger. As she’d been waiting in that hospital room, all she’d thought about was that maybe she’d made the wrong choice. Maybe she should have stayed… Maybe that ignorant make believe life that she’d lived in for three years or six months...maybe it hadn’t been as bad as what might come. 

“I was held,” Felicity said. She slipped on her flats and then moved to sit in a nearby chair. It wasn’t going to be an exceptionally long story, but it wasn’t going to be short either and Felicity was tired. “I thought it was for three years.”

“Mr. Diggle did tell me that,” Lance said as he jotted things down in his notebook. “I can assure you, it’s been six months.”

Felicity nodded. “I thought that Olivia--”

“The little girl?”

“Yes,” she affirmed and sucked in breath for a moment. “I thought that she was my daughter. I managed to get away, to find a phone, to get to a vehicle, and I am here now.”

“I’m going to need more details than that,” Lance told her.

“I called John...Diggle. Thea and Roy was close enough to where I was and I met up with them. Then they brought me to Diggle.”

“What about who held you?”

Felicity stared at him. She wasn’t sure if she was allowed to really not cooperate, but it was in his best interest. “I can’t--”

“You can’t tell me?”

“No.”

Lance looked confused and slightly irritated. “Why?”

“I just can’t. I need you to just accept that.”

“Do you know him?”

“I know who he is, yes,” Felicity confirmed. 

“Are you afraid for your life?”

“Absolutely,” she said without really thinking. It was an automatic response. “He’s going to come after me and Olivia...and possibly those closest to me. John said that he’s making sure that people are protected. Please… Just trust me when I say that it’s better that you don’t know.”

“We can protect you,” Lance insisted.

Felicity got up from the chair. She reached out and touched his arm. “The thought is nice, but you can’t… I don’t even know if the Arrow could keep me safe… But one thing I know for sure, I’m going to be safer at the Queen Mansion.”

“I am going to send a unit over just as some extra support,” he told her. “And Olivia,” Lance said. “You take her with you tonight, but in the morning...we’re going to have to look into locating her family.”

Slowly, Felicity nodded. “They said that they’d do a swab for you.”

Lance put an arm around her and led her out of the room. “I really wish that you’d share more with me…”

Felicity smiled at him. “I appreciate you understanding--”

“I don’t.”

She shook her head for a second. “I appreciate you...trying...to understand.”

“We should be going,” Diggle said. 

“Olivia,” Felicity said as she looked around. 

Diggle pointed behind her and when Felicity turned, she was right there only a few feet away. The nurse set the little blonde haired girl on the ground to walk and she ran. Felicity beamed and crouched down with her arms open to receive her. Once Olivia was in her arms, she wrapped her up in them and stood up. 

“Mama,” Olivia said with a giggle.

“That’s a good girl,” she whispered.

“Do you guys have a car seat and everything?” Lance asked as he waved a hand around.

“We do,” Diggle said.

“I have enough supplies until tomorrow at least,” Felicity told him.

“I’ll walk you out then,” Lance said as he motioned in the direction of the exit.

Though he hadn’t pushed, Felicity knew it was coming. There were going to be a lot of people pushing for information. They all wanted it, but she just didn’t think that it was a good idea to give it to them. Not yet at least. 

 

. . .

 

Queen Mansion still made her uneasy. She didn’t know exactly why, but she had to admit, having Moira Queen there really wasn’t helping any. She seemed all smiles and welcoming, but Felicity didn’t feel like they were really welcome. Maybe it was just because she was worried about what Moira knew. Everything had changed as far as who knew what that she just didn’t know what she could say to who.

“Is Oliver back?” Diggle asked.

“No,” Thea responded quickly.

Felicity didn’t miss the frown from Diggle. He obviously wasn’t pleased and she worried even more about Oliver now. Where was he? Diggle hadn’t painted a very good picture of Oliver, but it also wasn’t too clear. 

“Let’s get you settled,” Diggle said and directed her towards one side of the house. 

The mansion hadn’t been a place that she’d been much at all. From her times there, though, she knew that they were going away from the bedrooms that Moira, Thea, and Oliver slept. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about awkward run-ins in the hallway? 

“You okay?”

“Sure,” Felicity breathed.

“Felicity--”

“Let’s just get things settled,” Felicity told him. Olivia’s head was on her shoulder and she was half asleep. Apparently the nurses had been feeding Olivia while she had been examined. It was fine, but it also meant that the little girl was ready for bed. “It’s way past her bedtime and I wouldn’t want her to start screaming…” 

“If you’re worried about Mrs. Queen--”

“Of course I’m worried about Mrs. Queen. Does she know?”

“About Oliver?” Diggle asked. “She thinks he’s away on a trip…”

“She didn’t look too happy,” Felicity pointed out as Diggle opened the door to a room. He walked in and she followed. It was a grand room and far more than she really needed. Inside was a pack n play setup with a mattress and bedding. It really was perfect and well thought. “You guys didn’t need--”

“Yes, we did,” Diggle told her. “I’m going to give you a couple of minutes while I make a phone call. If you need anything, I’m right next door…”

Felicity smiled. “Thank you, John.”

He left with just a smile and closed the door behind him. Pulling in breath, she looked around. Of course it was so much nicer than where she’d been living, but it also felt so much safer. This was a room without windows, which she thought was odd for a moment, but then decided that right now it was the best place for her. It brought about less worry. 

“Let’s get you to bed, Little One,” she said. 

She set Olivia down in the middle of the large bed, the diaper bag alongside her. Felicity was glad that she was a person who overpacked. She didn’t have pajamas for Olivia, but she had a shirt and leggings, that was close enough. So, she changed her diaper and changed her clothes before making her a bottle. Felicity took the quiet time to walk Olivia around as she quietly sang to her. 

With Olivia finally down, she ventured into the hallway. Felicity left the door opened and smiled at Diggle. It looked like he’d been waiting out there, probably in order to keep from disturbing her while she was trying to get Olivia down. He might not have kids of his own, but Diggle had a nephew. 

“She asleep?”

Felicity nodded. “She’s usually a good baby, but when she’s overtired...she sounds like a banshee…” 

“I understand that.”

“I thought you might.”

“Thea said that she did some baby shopping and picked you up some things. It should all be in there.”

She hadn’t expected that. “That’s...sweet...and unexpected.”

Diggle seemed a little amused. “Nothing’s changed, but Thea and Roy knowing...that’s changed a lot too.”

“I’m noticing that,” Felicity told him. 

“Thea was happy to be able to go shopping, especially if it’s in order to help out.”

She just smiled. “So… Are you going to be less vague about Oliver?” she finally asked. It had been bothering her and she just wanted answers, probably just as much as Diggle wanted them. 

“He’s on his way. He should be here any minute now,” Diggle said.

“Does he know?”

“That you’re back? No…” Diggle said. He frowned deeply. “I didn’t talk to Oliver. I talked to Sara.”

“Oh…”

Back at the grocery store, she’d remembered seeing that Isabel and Oliver were engaged, but obviously that didn’t seem right. Sara Lance? Felicity knew enough to know that there had to be some kind of spark between them and they had similar history (as far as she could guess) when it came to what happened after the Queen’s Gambit went down. 

“Not like that,” Diggle said after a minute. “She’s...well, she’s making sure that he stays out of trouble… He wanted to go off grid and she sort of has to be off grid.”

“Of course,” she said as she looked down. 

“I was afraid that he wouldn’t believe me if I told him...or if Sara told him. He really was messed up after you disappeared… He looked everywhere for you. He stopped going into Queen Consolidated. You were the only thing that occupied his mind. He blamed himself. He started drinking...and he almost killed himself.” 

Felicity just stared at him. 

“He got into a car accident,” Diggle said. “Luckily the only other thing injured besides Oliver and his car was a tree…”

She’d made a choice. She’d thought that it had been to protect Oliver...to protect them all. Felicity had never thought that Oliver might blame himself...that he might go so far… Tears broke free and she looked back down at the carpet again. She really didn’t know what else she could have done...how she could have let them know that she was okay, but keep Oliver away… 

“Felicity?”

“It’s my fault…”

“Oliver’s a grown--”

“I made the choice, John,” she said suddenly as her head snapped up to look at him. “He was going to kill Oliver…you...Moira...Thea...Roy… I couldn’t let him. So, I said I’d stay with him…”

“Felicity--”

She could see the confusion and if possible, even more worry, in his face. He just didn’t know. Felicity knew that he couldn’t. She hadn’t given him the answers that he wanted. Everything was just so much to take in… 

“Oliver is going to hate me,” she choked out. 

Diggle pulled her into his arms and held her. “Shh… He’s not going to hate you… He could never hate you… He cares about you too much… I care about you, too. You’re safe now… Whoever ‘he’ is, he can’t hurt you…”

“He could--”

“I won’t let him,” Diggle told her.

There was a clatter at the end of the hall and Felicity pulled away from Diggle. She looked towards where the sound had come from. At the end of the hall was a set of doors. Sara Lance and Oliver Queen stood there. 

“Oliver,” she breathed and reached up to brush the tears from her cheeks. 

It took her only a moment to realize that he didn’t look happy to see her. Shouldn’t he be happy? Maybe even relieved? Felicity didn’t know what to think, say, or do...so she just stood there. Sara seemed happy to see her and closed the distance between them. Felicity found herself being hugged, which was unexpected.

“I’m so glad that you’re okay,” Sara told her.

“Uh--thanks…” Felicity said as she awkwardly patted Sara’s back. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate the thought or the attempt at comfort, she did, it was just weird to her. She liked Sara Lance, but they’d not been super close. Felicity liked to think that they were at least sort of friends. After all, she’d been the one to think about sending her a thank you note before they knew that she was the masked woman in black kicking ass all over Starling and The Glades. 

“Really, you have no idea,” Sara told her as she pulled back. “Digg,” she said a moment later before moving past her.

Felicity watched her go over her shoulder for a moment before turning back to look down the hallway. Oliver Queen. The man who had changed her world had been standing there just a moment ago and now he was gone. She looked around, but didn’t see him. 

“Sara…” Diggle said.

She looked to Diggle worriedly and then looked over at Sara, who didn’t look too happy as she walked back towards them. What had happened? What was wrong? She thought that he’d be happy to see her. Felicity had been overjoyed to see him safe...and she’d been looking forward to hugging him and telling him how much she missed him. 

“What...I didn’t…” she started to ramble as she looked between them.

“Let me talk to him,” Sara said.

“You know, maybe I should take this one…” Diggle said.

“He didn’t want to come back,” Sara told him. She sighed. “Go on and get him…” Sara looked at her and Felicity just didn’t know what to say or think or do. “Let’s get you out of this hallway for the time being… I’ve heard that they’ve put you through being examined at the hospital and being questioned by my father already,” she said as she turned Felicity back around to face the room that she’d been assigned as ‘hers’ for the time being.

They walked in and Felicity didn’t say a word. She just went and checked on Olivia, who was still sound asleep. Felicity heard the door click behind her and turned to see Sara standing there. “A lot has changed…” she stated quietly. 

“He’s been through a lot in the last several years…” Sara said. “It’s just catching up with him. You never knew him before the island, but he was what everyone said he was… He’s grown up so much since then, but Oliver holds people that he cares about close to his heart. He blames himself even when it’s not his fault. He wants to make things right even when it’s not possible.”

“John said that he sort of fell apart…”

“The first month, he just hardly slept and looked for you night and day. One day, Digg tracked me down...not sure how he did it, but he did… I was brought up to speed on what was going on and I came back...in secret, of course,” Sara told her. “We figured that between the three of us that we’d find you faster...but there were no leads and no trail… Nothing. He neglected Queen Consolidated and Moira’s tried to step up… It’s just not been the same. He drank. A lot. We went back to the island… I never thought I’d go back, but there we were. I think he feels freer there… Before we left, we had to tell Thea and Roy… Digg needed help. Everyone thought that Oliver was checking into rehab.”

“I saw a picture of Oliver and Isabel Rochev together on a magazine and it said that they were engaged,” Felicity told her. 

“Definitely not,” Sara told her. “Those two can’t be in the same room anymore… They’ve gotten into some pretty heated fights where it almost came to physical contact. Police were called in. It got really nasty.”

Felicity looked down at her hands as she fidgeted. Tears welled up in her eyes as she worried about Oliver. She’d never thought that her absence would affect him in such a way. She knew that he cared, but she had always been fairly sure that she had always cared far more for him. Maybe she’d been wrong all this time… The guilt just kept weighing on her. “It’s my fault--”

“It’s not.”

“It is,” Felicity said as she looked up. “I--” 

Before she could finish there was a quiet knock at the door followed by the sound of the door opening. They looked towards the door and found both Diggle and Oliver standing there. 

“Can we come in?” Diggle asked.

Felicity just nodded slowly as she stared at Oliver. He looked different, but Felicity had a feeling that it was just his eyes and his face. He looked so much older. He looked like she felt, like the weight of the world was ready to crush them. Maybe it was. 

“Can we have some time alone?” Oliver spoke up.

Those were the first words she’d heard him say since seeing him. It was so odd, they were just standing there apart. They’d never had problems before about personal space. Oliver had always been one to give her little touches here and there. It had never been tense, well not in that way. When she first joined Team Arrow and when he’d first come back from the island after Tommy...that hadn’t been the norm though. 

“I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea,” Diggle said slowly. Felicity briefly realized that Diggle was looking between the two of them.

“It’s okay,” Sara said as she practically pushed Diggle out of the room. “The worst that’s going to happen is that they’ll wake that baby up…”

She was sure that she heard Diggle mumble something, but she hadn’t caught it. It didn’t matter. The door shut and there they were. For a long while, they just stared at each other. It was enough to know he was alive, but how she wanted to touch him. Felicity wanted to wrap her arms around him. She wanted to cry on his shoulder and never go away like that again. She just wanted the world to make some kind of sense

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry,” he replied.

Felicity stared at him before finally taking a few steps towards him. It seemed so odd for them to be separated so much. “It’s my fault,” she told him quietly. “I made the choice--”

“Diggle told me that you were being held,” Oliver said. “That you thought that it’s been three years…” He was quiet for a moment. “It’s felt like longer.” He was quiet again and Felicity waited. “He said that you were being held...that you think you’re married to the guy who held you and that the baby…” He motioned to the pack n play. “I’m assuming over there...is yours… That you were think that we all needed to be guarded that he’ll come for us...and you…” 

“I didn’t tell John everything,” she said suddenly.

Oliver looked confused. “You know you can trust him.”

“I know,” Felicity said quickly. “It isn’t my ability to trust him. It’s--” She stopped and tried to think of the right words. She started to pace, her eyes to the floor as she told herself that she had to do this. She had to keep them safe. Oliver wouldn’t be able to keep anyone safe if he didn’t know what was going on. 

“Felicity, I looked everywhere for you… We all looked… The police looked,” Oliver said. His voice kept breaking. When she glanced up, he was looking down. “That night I thought--”

Felicity stopped and closed her eyes. “You thought I was upset with you…” she whispered.

“I shouldn’t have fought with you,” Oliver said finally. “Every day all I’ve thought is that maybe if we hadn’t fought then maybe...maybe things would have been different…”

She turned towards him, her eyes opened as she watched him. “He took me...as bait.” Felicity swallowed hard. “He knows who you are… Both of your identities…”

“Who is he?” Oliver asked suddenly as he took a step towards her.

“He said that he was surprised by my loyalty to you… That I’d risk my life for you...to protect your secret…”

“Felicity--”

“Let me finish,” she said as tears fell. “I don’t think I can if you keep interrupting…and I just hope that you won’t hate me after…”

“I couldn’t--”

“He told me things… Other things… About The Undertaking, about other projects, about your mother…” She wiped tears away even though they kept falling. “He said...he said that Thea is only your half sister...that he’s her father…”

Felicity saw that he was about to open his mouth again. This was so hard for her, but she felt like she needed to upset herself, almost to punish herself, after she’d seen what her disappearance had done to Oliver. Maybe she deserved this misery…

“I made the choice to go with him. He said that if I went with him, if I cooperated...that he’d leave all the Queens alone...and Diggle and Roy. I couldn’t...I didn’t want to watch him kill you all…” Felicity shook her head. “So, I went with him… I did what he wanted… He said we’re legally married, though I have no idea how that’s really possible… He obviously tricked me into thinking that I’d lived with him for three years and started a family… That’s what he wanted when I knew I couldn’t stay there anymore… He wanted another child… I couldn’t do it… I’d rather die… But leaving, I put you all at risk again…” 

Oliver grabbed her and held her. She just cried into his shoulder. She knew that he hadn’t told him every detail. She was afraid of his reaction. It was like she’d just almost gotten her life back...him back...and she was dreading having it all taken away from her. 

“Felicity, I could have protected us,” he told her. His tone was even and calm. “You know that.” He was running his hands up and down her back as he spoke.

“You almost died before…”

“He did more than hold you…”

“I could have fought back,” she sobbed. “I didn’t… I--”

“Who was it? Who is he? Who’s coming after us?” Oliver asked. 

“I wanted to keep you safe,” she continued.

“Now let me keep you safe like I should have then,” he said. “Tell me his name…”

Felicity struggled with this. She knew that she had to tell him. She didn’t know why, if she just needed to see them all and know they were safe, but she felt better telling Oliver. The sobs were still racking her chest and her eyes were dry even though they still produced tears. She just didn’t want to lose him. Felicity forced herself to calm a bit, at least enough that she’d be able to speak clearly enough. She didn’t want to have to repeat the answer to Oliver’s question.

“Malcolm Merlyn,” she barely whispered. 

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	3. Family Dynamics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry it took longer than I thought! I'm still trying to catch up on sleep from last week! But I'll tell you one thing, there's what I think is an exceptionally adorable set of Olicity lines that wouldn't be there if I hadn't told myself to sleep last night. :D 
> 
> Thanks for all the sweet comments hoping my little one is okay! She's had attack of allergies and like eight teeth coming in all at once to the point where she seems like she's extremely (almost hospital worthy) sick. 0_0 At least she's feeling better now though! And we're both getting a lot more sleep!

Normally Olivia wasn’t quite so restless. Felicity had chalked it up to being in a bed that really wasn’t a crib and something and somewhere different. Like how you never slept as well as you did when you were home. The place they’d lived in wasn’t home, but it had been forced to be that for a while… She was clad in pink and purple plaid pajama bottoms and a purple short sleeve shirt. This was the most comfortable looking thing that Thea had stored in the drawers for her. 

She picked up Olivia, who immediately seemed to go back to sleep on her shoulder, and wrapped a throw around the both of them. Felicity ventured out into the hall. She wanted to walk and just get out of that room. She had seen that it was nearly four in the morning and thought it was safe without running into anyone, namely Mrs. Queen. 

So, she quietly sang to Olivia as she walked the halls. Felicity was fairly sure that her little girl was out again, but continued her walk until she found Oliver and Sara sitting on the couch in one of the main common areas. She was going to back out of the room, not wanting to interrupt, but they had seen her...maybe even sensed her. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Sara asked with a smile. “I think this is where we all end up…” Felicity watched as Sara looked between her and Oliver before Sara got to her feet. “I was actually just about to try, though...and generally be out of the way before Mrs. Queen comes down.”

“Not for at least another hour,” Oliver spoke up.

Sara smiled at Felicity as she walked towards her. “You should have Ollie make you some hot chocolate or tea… He can handle at least doing that much without catching the house on fire.”

“Ha ha,” Oliver said with a small smile before getting to his feet.

Felicity looked at him. They really hadn’t had a conversation past the point of ‘Malcolm Merlyn’. He’d pretty much looked like he was going to hit something and had left her alone in the room. She’d cried herself to sleep, but that really wasn’t anything new for her. It just hadn’t been quite the reunion that she’d expected… She’d at least wanted to have an hour or so of just basking in the glow of being home and being safe again...of the world being right and making sense.

“I...I didn’t mean to interrupt… I’m going to go…” she told him as she started to turn, her eyes turning downwards.

“Stay,” he whispered.

She stopped and turned back, unsure if she’d actually heard right. She looked up at him, confused and really not wanting to cry over him again in less than a few hours. 

Oliver walked over and peeked at Olivia. “She asleep?” Felicity could only manage to weakly nod. He carefully pulled the sleeping child from her arms. She didn’t know what else to do than to let him. He cradled Olivia and smiled down at her. “She does look like you…”

“It’s the hair...and the eyes…” Felicity said. “I guess any blonde haired, blue eyed baby might resemble me…” 

“No, I can see it…” he said as he smiled up at her. “Diggle said that you named her Olivia…”

“After you,” Felicity said quietly, assuming that was the unasked question there. She nodded. “He hated it, but I guess there was a reason why he didn’t make me change it…”

They were quiet for a few minutes and Oliver just walked around with Olivia in his arms. For the first time since she’d gotten back, he seemed calm and content...like the weight had been lifted off of him. She suddenly wondered if this was something normal for him, did he not sleep? He worked all day at Queen Consolidated, or at least he did, and then he ran around as Arrow at night...and then what? 

“Sara said I’m a horrible person,” Oliver confided a moment later. His voice was quiet as he stared down at Olivia. 

“She shouldn’t say things like that,” Felicity said. “It isn’t true.”

He looked straight at her. “I feel like one… I know that Diggle and probably, well everyone, told you what happened…”

“From the sounds of it,” Felicity said. “It sounds like I broke you…”

Oliver smiled the smallest smile for a moment. “I shouldn’t have fought with you… It was stupid… I don’t think enough before I speak… I’m too used to just acting…”

“I thought we went over this?” Felicity asked. “It wouldn’t have changed things…” She shook her head. “If anyone’s a horrible person--”

“Felicity--”

“I should have found a way to tell you...tell Diggle...tell someone that I was alive...that I wasn’t…” She stopped as she tried to find the right one, but nothing seemed right. 

“He had you--”

“In those six months, I managed somehow to earn his trust...maybe it’s because I believed the lie I was living… But I was able to leave that house… I had a car and I could go to public places,” she confessed as tears fell. 

“But you wanted to--”

“Every day…” she told him. “The other day at the grocery store, I dialed Digg’s number and then hung up before he could pick up… I was too afraid…”

“When I was on the island,” he said and then stopped with a bigger smile. “The first time.” She smiled now. He’d been back to the island twice now since he’d left. She supposed that that was where he went to get away from everyone and punish himself. “The first opportunity I was with a phone, I called Laurel… I still had her picture when I got to the island and I would stare at it everyday, the thought of going home to her was in part what helped me survive. The phone line was pulled before I could say anything to her, I don’t know if I even was going to… I just wanted to hear her voice…”

“I wanted to know that you were all okay… That you weren’t really engaged to Isabel,” Felicity admitted.

“I had a breakdown,” Oliver told her. “I didn’t completely lose my mind…”

Felicity laughed. “It’s all over magazines…”

“Of course it is…”

“Maybe it’s her way of promoting the company… A different kind of merger…”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Oliver admitted. He was staring at her. He was intent and almost a little sad. “I just… I couldn’t do it without you… I don’t think you realize how much I need you, Felicity… How much I need you…”

Felicity just stared at him. She never thought she’d hear Oliver say those words, at least not in real life. “Oliver, I--”

“Malcolm Merlyn was supposed to be dead,” Oliver said. His voice sounded slightly angry, but his focus was on Olivia. 

“There’s no way you could have known that he was behind anything,” she told him. 

Oliver held out an arm to her and Felicity moved into it. He curled it around her and pulled her to his body. “I promise you that Malcolm Merlyn will not touch you again,” he whispered before kissing her forehead.

Felicity closed her eyes and tears fell from her eyes. Suddenly, it was like things were okay. Leaning against him, she pulled in breath and she felt truly content in that moment. 

“Malcolm Merlyn is dead.”

“Mom,” Oliver said before Felicity could even open her eyes. Oliver pulled away from her to turn around. “I thought you’d still be sleeping…”

“Why would you bring his name into this house after everything that he’s done?” Moira Queen questioned as she looked between them. 

Felicity didn’t know if Moira Queen was one of those people that you didn’t look straight at. She’d felt like she didn’t like her, well, for a while, but especially since she’d stepped into the Queen Mansion. “I--I…” she started to mumble and then looked to Oliver. Did they tell her? They knew that Moira had worked with Malcolm, hell the whole world knew that… Though they really still couldn’t be sure to what extent or what else Moira could be working on. 

“Malcolm Merlyn is alive,” Oliver said. “That’s why Diggle has security increased.”

“That’s nonsense!” Moira shouted as she walked towards them. “Oliver, Honey, I know you’re happy that this girl is back...but Honey look at what she’s done to you…”

Felicity looked at Oliver and took a step back. She looked down and held back the tears. What could she really say to that?

Oliver reached down and took her hand in his. “Mom, Felicity is the victim in all of this…” 

“Malcolm Merlyn is dead and buried. They did an autopsy, I’m sure! They buried him in the ground!” Moira went on.

“He said that Thea is his daughter,” Oliver said quietly. 

“Who told you that?”

“He told Felicity--”

Smack.

Felicity hadn’t even seen it coming. Moira Queen was a fast woman when she was angry. The whole side of her face stung as Felicity’s hand came up to cover it. Tears sprung forth and she took a few steps back. 

“Mom!”

“Don’t you dare tell lies like that!” Moira yelled at her. Felicity glanced up and noticed that Moira was moving towards her, her finger pointing at her. “Don’t you think before you say things? Are you trying to destroy this family? You did a good enough job of that six months ago when you ran off to wherever you ran off!” 

“Mom! Stop!” Oliver yelled again. He reached out and pulled her back.

“Hey...what’s going on?” Roy called.

“Ollie?” Thea’s voice seemed to break it up for good.

Felicity looked over to see them entering the room and Moira seeming to have moved her attention to Thea and Roy. A hand was on her arm and she jumped and then covered her face for a moment when she realized that it had been Oliver. He pulled her towards him and held her in a partial hug. She pressed her face into his neck and tried to hold the tears back.

“I think it’s time we all go back to bed,” Oliver spoke up. 

“Thea,” Moira said as she held out a hand to her.

Thea shook her head. “I’m going to sleep down here…”

“Thea--”

“Mom, that’s how it’s been like for the last four months…”

“Please--”

“Thea, it’s okay,” Roy said quietly.

“No--” Thea started to argue.

“Speedy,” Oliver said quietly and nodded towards the stairs.

Thea let out a frustrated sigh before she headed up the stairs without her mother. She was obviously pissed off. Felicity wondered if Moira and Thea had grown apart or if Thea was just attached to Roy and he wasn’t allowed upstairs. Whatever it was, Oliver would probably have to hear about making her go in the morning...well, later in the morning.

“Oliver,” Moira said.

“I’ll be up in a few minutes,” he said.

“Oliver.”

“In a few minutes,” he repeated. 

“It’s okay,” she whispered, but Oliver held her tight. After Moira headed upstairs and was out of sight, Oliver pulled back to look her over.

“What happened?” Roy asked.

Felicity just stared at Oliver. “I’m sorry…”

“Shh… She shouldn’t have done that…” Oliver told Felicity. He turned towards Roy. “I’m sure we can all talk about it tomorrow morning… It’ll be something to hopefully move Thea’s irritation with me away to something else…”

“Your mom really doesn’t appreciate us sleeping downstairs in that wing…” Roy said.

Oliver shrugged. “You’re both adults, which is probably part of the problem. She might approve of you, but not of you sleeping with her daughter under her roof…” He sighed. “And I really didn’t need to talk about you sleeping with my sister.”

“Yeah, let’s just agree that this conversation never happened,” Roy suggested.

“I think that’s really the best plan,” Felicity spoke up.

“Agreed,” Oliver said. Roy turned and headed back towards where the majority of the people in the house were sleeping after a quick ‘night’. Oliver guided Felicity in the same direction a minute later. “I don’t think I can apologize enough for my mother, she had no--”

“It’s okay,” she whispered.

“It’s not,” he countered. He opened the door to the bedroom and walked in with her. He moved away and settled Olivia down in the pack n play. Oliver froze over her after he’d set her down and Felicity knew that he had to be waiting to make sure she wasn’t going to wake up and scream. She didn’t.

“Thank you...hopefully she’ll sleep through the rest of the night,” Felicity said.

“I want to stay here...make sure you two know that you’re safe,” Oliver said. “But if I don’t go upstairs, then I can guarantee you that my mother will be down here to scream...and Thea will really hate me come breakfast.”

“I know we’re safe,” she whispered as she closed the distance between them. She had really missed him. Felicity and Oliver had grown fairly close before she’d disappeared and it was nice to know that there was still that there between them even if things weren’t the same. They’d both been affected differently, so of course things were different. “Plus, Roy’s right across the hall, right?” she teased.

“Yeah, I have no idea what Diggle’s taught him...or Thea… I’d probably be more concerned if Diggle and Sara weren’t a few doors down…” Oliver told her.

Felicity shrugged. “He seems like a pretty good guy when you’re not arrow-ing him.”

“That was one time.”

“I don’t think any of us have forgotten it…”

“And you certainly won’t let me forget it,” Oliver told her.

Felicity shrugged. “We have to learn from our mistakes, right?”

“What am I supposed to be learning from that one?”

“Besides, maybe telling Diggle and I that you did it...when you do it… I don’t know, maybe don’t shoot people you know… A dart to knock him out and calling Thea might have been more effective.”

Oliver seemed to think about it for a moment. “Okay...maybe that’s true, but I really wasn’t thinking clearly then.”

“Are you thinking clearly now?” 

He stared at her. “Yes.”

“I wish you could stay too,” she told him as she raised herself up on her tip-toes before kissing his cheek. “I need you too, you know…”

A hand ran along the side of her face through her hair. She smiled as the other one came up to cup her cheek. He started to lean in and Felicity fought with herself inside. She wanted this. She wanted to be close to him again. She had thought about this for months, but it had felt like years… His hand moved from her hair to her neck and then to her back and she cringed as his hands came into contact with the sensitive flesh between her shoulderblades. It wasn’t just the moment of pain, but it was the reminder that maybe she wasn’t really okay… She didn’t want to regret this later… Not being close with Oliver… His lips were practically brushing against hers when she pulled back, tears falling from her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” she choked out. 

Malcolm Merlyn hadn’t been completely kind to her, even with the memories that he somehow had placed there… She hadn’t been blissfully happy… He’d hurt her… He’d forced things… She just felt like maybe it would be better if they had some space and some time to be back before they started anything…

“You don’t have to apologize,” he told her again. Oliver reached out and took her hand before pulling her back to him. He kissed her forehead and then rested his against hers. Their hands laced together at their sides and Felicity just closed her eyes. “It’s been a long day...already…”

“You should go,” she whispered after several minutes. Felicity hadn’t wanted to say it, but she was afraid of what might come next if they stayed like that for much longer. 

“I--”

“Go,” she whispered and pushed against his chest. After a moment of just staring at her, he finally turned and left. 

 

. . .

 

There was a knock at her door. Felicity figured that it was someone coming to check up on her. After all, she’d heard Roy and Thea out in the hall hours before and she had been certain it was breakfast, but after the incident with Mrs. Queen...Felicity just didn’t want to chance things. She didn’t need to make things worse. So, she walked over and answered the door while Olivia was running around the room happily pulling drawers open and generally getting into things she didn’t need to be in. 

“Hi,” she said with a smile.

“Hi,” he echoed back. 

“I was just--”

“Hiding?”

Felicity nodded and then looked over to check on Olivia, who happened to be looking over at her. Olivia was pulling the contents of a low drawer out and dropping them onto the floor. Felicity sighed. “Olivia…” she said as she crossed the room towards the toddler.

“Uh oh,” Olivia said slowly and then hurried off in another direction.

“You missed breakfast,” Oliver said.

Scooping up Olivia before she could get into anything else, Felicity tickled her until she started to giggle. She kissed her head and carried her back towards the door. She found that Oliver had invited himself all the way in and had the shut the door. She did appreciate the privacy. She was sure that everyone else knew what had transpired, but they really didn’t need to talk about it anymore especially in a hallway where everyone could hear about it.

“I’ll survive,” Felicity told her.

“And Olivia?”

“She had a pouch of applesauce and some biscuits, though she probably would have appreciated something else.”

Oliver looked at Olivia. “Does that mean that in an hour or so that you’d appreciate me taking you two out of here for lunch?”

The little girl nodded at him, her head almost over exaggerating the motion as she nodded. “Yeah.”

“I don’t think--”

He held up his hand. “Olivia says...that that’s the best food plan she’s heard all day.”

Felicity rolled her eyes. “Oliver--”

“It’ll be fun,” he insisted.

“I should really be heading home,” Felicity told him. “Your mother really doesn’t like me that much. I’ve stayed here too long I think anyways…”

“Felicity, it isn’t you that my mother doesn’t like,” Oliver told her. “Rather the information you had.”

“I wasn’t lying--”

“I know, I know,” he said quickly. 

“I should go,” Felicity told him firmly. She set Olivia down into the pack n play, which only sent the little girl into a crying fit. Felicity closed her eyes for a moment and then moved to the bed in order to put on her shoes. She was already dressed in jeans and a blouse. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Felicity felt a bit more normal, but she still felt like she was in a prison there… She didn’t feel safe to really leave the room for fear she would run into Mrs. Queen. Felicity suddenly wondered if this was how Sara felt, since she was supposed to be dead, she really couldn’t be seen...unless she was dressed in black leather and wearing a mask.

Oliver scooped her up and Olivia was clinging to him. Her face was a bright red, but she was quickly calming down. It was like a switch, as soon as he had her, she was quiet.

“Thank you,” her small voice sung out. She hugged him and kissed his shoulder. “Thank you. Thank you.”

Oliver grinned at her. “You are welcome, Little Princess.”

Felicity stood up, her shoes now on, she watched them for a minute. “You know I never thought about kids before… I mean, not about having my own… When Diggle explained that she’s not mine, I felt like I was going to die…” She fidgeted with her hands as she spoke. “Lance is probably going to call or come by today and take her away… And I don’t know what I’m going to do…” Tears started to fall and she wiped them away. He started to walk towards her, his smile dropping. She held up a hand to stop him. “I know that she probably has a family that’s been worried sick about her…but I have to get out of here, Oliver… I just want to go home…”

“I’ll have Diggle go over and make sure that it’s secured. Get some security setup,” Oliver said quietly. He crossed the room and handed Olivia to her. “No matter what the tests say or who her parents are, you were her mother for at least four months… And I’m sure that if Lance finds her family, they’ll let you stay in touch…”

Holding her close, Felicity kissed her forehead. Olivia wiggled a bit, but Felicity managed to get her to get her to stop once she moved Olivia to her hip. Oliver’s hand was on her arm as he stared at her. 

“And you will never, never be alone in this…” he told her sincerely.

“I never have been,” she whispered as she stared at him. 

 

. . .

 

Though her place wasn’t as spectacular as the Queen Mansion, it was home. It was her place of sanctuary. It was the one place where the outside world could be pushed out, even if only for a few hours. At least she could try. Diggle had arranged security and Oliver had brought her home, which had included bringing along the items that Thea had purchased for her and Olivia. So far Lance hadn’t called, so she didn’t have to worry about handing Olivia over yet. 

It was really hard, though, just to think about it. 

“You’re a good mom.”

Felicity didn’t know exactly why, but tears came to her eyes and she quickly brushed them away before placing a smile on her face before turning to him. “You’re sweet,” she said. 

“I mean it,” he said seriously.

She stared at him and wondered if he could fathom how difficult this was for her. It wasn’t being home and being in constant fear for their lives, but rather the fact that this child that she’d thought was hers was going to be ripped away from her at any moment… It really was almost enough to send her back to Central City or wherever in order to look for the house that she’d been living in with Malcolm Merlyn. 

Almost. 

“I know,” she said and the tears fell. She was breaking inside. Felicity was so frustrated and so torn at how to feel or what to do. She kept telling herself that she needed to start detaching herself from Olivia, but how did she do that? She watched the little girl as she explored her new surroundings. Felicity was hyper aware that her place was not babyproofed and making sure that Olivia wasn’t going to get herself into any kind of trouble. 

Even though Diggle had explained that Olivia couldn’t be hers, Felicity couldn’t stop thinking that he was wrong. She’d tried to think back, to try to make sense of what Diggle had said, but it was like her brain was in as much denial as her heart was. She just couldn’t think of living without these precious part of her, whether she was biologically hers or not. 

He reached out towards her as he spoke. “Felicity--”

She waved a hand. “Don’t… Can we just not talk about this, please?” she requested as she brushed away tears again. 

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Yeah…” They were both quiet, both watching Olivia for a while. “Do we want to talk about the look my mother gave me when I told her I was thinking about moving out?”

Felicity frowned for a moment as she tried to process what he’d just said. “What? Wait…” She knew what he was doing. He was trying to distract her. She really wasn’t going to argue about that. She needed it right now, but she suddenly felt so confused. “What? You’re--”

“I’m thinking about moving out,” Oliver said. 

“Please don’t tell me that you told her that it was because of me,” Felicity said. She really didn’t need another reason against her for Moira Queen to hate her. Though, Felicity felt like Moira Queen would really need a valid reason to blame things on her, not at this point. 

“No,” Oliver said with a smile. 

“Are you setting up a cot at Verdant?”

“Oh, I’ve already been tempted,” Oliver told her.

Felicity smiled. She watched Olivia as she randomly started to clap and dance around only to stop and giggle at them. Olivia ran over and hugged Felicity’s legs. Lifting her up into her lap, Felicity hugged her. She didn’t know if she’d ever get enough hugs and kisses in. She was going to try though. Each moment was precious.

“But I did think that maybe...you could move in to wherever I end up living…” he said quietly.

She turned to look at him. “Oliver--”

“Look, I know that things got messed up royally the last time--”

“I don’t even know if I can leave with myself in a week,” Felicity told him truthfully. “We’re both sort of broken… I’m not sure that would be a good or healthy combo to living together or a relationship…”

“I’ve been sort of broken since I got back from the island,” Oliver told her. “The first time.” He paused. “You’re the reason why I changed, Felicity… Yes, Tommy’s death affected me, but you’ve always tried to guide me and challenge me to do things different and to be better… You always knew that there was a different way even when I couldn’t see it.”

“All I can think is that I’m going to lose her,” Felicity said, her voice breaking. She paused and dropped a kiss to the top of Olivia’s head, before the little girl wiggled and demanded to be back on the floor to run about. Felicity complied and then looked back to Oliver. “Do you really think that you can handle the mess that I’m going to be?”

“No matter what, I am going to be here… I’m not leaving, Felicity… I’m not saying that we should do it right away, but I think it’s something to consider…”

“What are you saying, Oliver?” she finally asked. He was right. Before Malcolm had taken her to, well wherever she’d been, they’d had a horrible fight. That was how they were, though. They could disagree and fight, but they always came back and apologized no matter what the argument was about. 

“I love you, Felicity,” he admitted.

She smiled then. “I love you, too… But I think you knew that…” 

“I suspected…”

“I’m glad that you figured out how to say it, though,” she told him before leaning in and kissing his cheek. 

The sound of Olivia’s scream forced her away from Oliver and immediately to look for the toddler. Felicity was on her feet and to Olivia in a matter of seconds. She examined the little girl for a moment, but found nothing. Suddenly, Olivia seemed fine. 

Felicity sighed. “You have to be careful, Baby… I know that this is a new place and that you want to explore…”

“Or maybe she didn’t like the attention you were paying me,” Oliver said as he sat down on the floor next to Olivia. He reached out and touched her head. “Do I need to pay more attention to you? I did promise you lunch…”

“It’s getting a little late for lunch,” Felicity pointed out.

“You haven’t had lunch or breakfast,” Oliver said with a frown.

“I’m not going to waste away,” she told him. She didn’t mention that when Merlyn had first had her that it wasn’t like she was fed every meal...or probably even every day. That early time was extremely confusing and blurry to her. 

“What about this one?” Oliver said as he tried to tickle Olivia.

Olivia moved away from him and laughed a little and then ran off.

“She had a pouch.”

“Do you have a Mary Poppins bag somewhere?” he asked as he looked around.

Felicity smiled. “I overpack… I was always afraid that he’d decide that we’d up and move at a moment’s notice. So, I always keep about three or four pouches...and biscuits...and crunchies...and little juices…”

“Like I said, where’s the Mary Poppins bag?”

She smiled a little wider. “Maybe we can just do lunch tomorrow,” she suggested. 

“We could do dinner,” Oliver told her matter of factly. “Unless...you’d rather not?”

“I just… I didn’t know where you wanted to go,” Felicity told him. “A lot of the places that you normally go aren’t exactly--”

“Olivia friendly?”

“Yes,” Felicity said. 

“I’m sure she’d be great anywhere… Just set her in a highchair and we’re set!”

Felicity stared at him. “She’s very good at pulling your plate onto the floor, full of food...and somehow getting ahold of your glass and spilling water all over…”

“No…” Oliver said as they both turned to watch Olivia exploring. “She’s too angelic…”

The thought had crossed her mind about Oliver and how she thought he’d be a good dad. Of course, he’d always had this beautiful relationship with Thea. She’d been a bit jealous. They were like a Hallmark card family...well, at least Oliver and Thea were...for the most part...maybe pre-island. He had been so good with Olivia… She wondered if he’d thought about having a family or if it was something he’d be afraid of doing because of being the Arrow.

“Don’t you need to patrol tonight?” Felicity asked suddenly.

Oliver looked at her, confused. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“I’m just trying not to steal all of your time…”

“I’m not complaining,” Oliver said.

Suddenly Olivia let out a pterodactyl type scream. It wasn’t one of being hurt, but rather of trying to get attention. They both turned towards her. She seemed irritated because she seemed to be ready to explore other parts of Felicity’s place. Olivia was smacking the palms of her hands against the closed door that she’d suddenly realized was there.

“It’s still light out, why don’t we take her down to that park down the street?” 

Felicity felt a twinge of panic creeping in. “It’s an open area--”

“So, security can go with us…” Oliver told her. “We can go and let her run around… I’ll take you both to dinner… Somewhere little kid friendly… That way she’ll hopefully be a little worn out… I’m sure all the change has to be hard for her anyways.”

Felicity looked down at where Olivia was and had to admit that it sounded like a good plan. “I--”

“I promise I’m not going to let anything happen to either of you,” Oliver insisted.

“He could shoot you… He wouldn’t have to come up and talk to you first,” Felicity pointed out. “He’s part of the League of Assassins.”

“Malcolm Merlyn isn’t the kind of man to shoot me in the back,” Oliver argued. “If he wants to shoot me. He’s going to give me a fighting chance and he’s going to want me to know it was him…”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Yes.”

“It didn’t.”

“Sorry,” Oliver blurted out. 

Felicity was quiet for a moment and really thought about it. She knew that what he was saying was true. Plus, she knew that Merlyn had a twisted and confusing view on Oliver. 

“So?”

“Only for a bit,” she finally gave in. Olivia would enjoy it, she was sure. It would be a fun change and it would give her something else to do besides pulling apart Felicity’s living room. Olivia seemed very good to being able to get into everything and pulling it all out. Felicity really didn’t know how she did it. 

Oliver beamed at her before turning towards Olivia. “We’re free, Kid!” he exclaimed as he got to his feet. He ran after Olivia and scooped her up. He swung her around and Olivia giggled at first and then she started to whine as her hands reached out to grab towards Felicity. He handed Olivia to Felicity. “I promise it’s going to be fun.”

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	4. Emotional Rollercoaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title should be a good enough warning. :D Also, you MAY need tissues. I'm just saying. I actually started to cry while writing a part of this. Just you know, FYI.

“I don’t know how to explain this,” Lance said. “She really is yours…” 

Felicity beamed. She’d known it. No matter how many times they’d told her it wasn’t possible, she had known that Olivia was hers. She was Olivia’s mother and this test had proven it. Felicity kissed Olivia’s temple and couldn’t keep the smile off of her face. This was the best news that she’d heard. 

“So, that’s it, right?” Felicity asked.

“I guess…” Lance said.

“Thank you,” Felicity said and hurried him to the door. She didn’t want him to change his mind. This was her daughter and she wasn’t going to let him take her away. Once she had the door shut, she turned around and immediately felt like celebrating.

“That...isn’t...possible,” Diggle said.

That really wasn’t how she was hoping to start her ‘celebrating’. Felicity frowned as she adjusted Olivia’s position on her hip. “I was hoping more for ‘let’s go out’ rather than that…” These were her guys and she expected them to be supportive and happy for her. Not this. 

“It’s not that we’re not happy for you,” Oliver said. “It just doesn’t make sense… Unless time moves quicker in the space that you occupied… There’s just no way for you to have been pregnant for nine months with Olivia, give birth, and then for fifteen months to pass… You were gone six months…”

“So, maybe it’s some kind of miracle.”

“Or twisted science,” Diggle spoke up.

“Why isn’t it that just maybe, there could be something good that could have happened that I can keep in the time I was gone?” Felicity asked them.

“Because she isn’t yours to keep.”

His voice caught her by surprise and she felt like the world was slowing down as she turned towards the voice. Coming in through a window, dressed in all black with his bow and quiver on his back, Malcolm Merlyn made himself known. It was then that Felicity noticed that all the sunshine was gone and now replaced was a darkened sky filled with lightning and the sounds of thunder.

“I’m taking her home…”

“No,” Felicity said quickly as she took a step back. 

Diggle and Oliver put themselves between her and Merlyn. Felicity realized that oddly now Oliver was dressed as the Arrow after he hadn’t been a moment before. Before she could say anything more, arrows were flying. She ducked down behind a couch, holding Olivia close in order to keep her out of harm’s way.

It had been silent for several minutes and Felicity felt like crying. She held Olivia, who was crying, tight to her. She slowly started to get up and venture a peek at what had transpired. There she found, Oliver and Diggle on the floor with arrows in them and Merlyn standing there over them.

“Give. Her. To. Me.”

“No!” Felicity screamed as she tried to run to the door. 

A hand caught her and swung her around until her back hit the door. He held her with one strong hand while the other pulled Olivia from her. He released her, but it was just long enough for him to grab an arrow from his quiver before plunging it into her chest. 

 

Felicity screamed as she sat up in bed. Tears were flowing down her face and she couldn’t breathe easily. Olivia started to cry then too. Felicity was sure that she’d scared Olivia and woken her up. Her door was being pounded on a moment later and she could hear Oliver calling her, the sound of the knob being twisted and she realized that she’d locked it. She was shaking, but managed to get herself out of bed and to the door to let him in. 

“Are you okay?” he asked her, his hands on her bare shoulders.

She nodded guilty and just tried to breathe. 

Oliver moved past her and picked up Olivia. He bounced Olivia in order to bring her hysterical screams down to whining. Eventually, Olivia’s head was on his shoulder and she was just whining lightly here and there. He came back to her and put a hand on her shoulder, leading her back to bed. 

Felicity crawled back into bed, sitting in the middle. She wiped her face and felt stupid. It had all been a dream. She should have known that. It was all becoming fuzzy to her now, but she’d known that there were some clues. “I’m sorry,” she managed to get out.

“Bad dream?”

She nodded.

“It’s okay,” he said quietly as he sat on the edge of the bed. “I just had a small panic attack when I got to the door and it was locked… It was slightly worried that Merlyn had gotten in here…”

“Sorry… I just. I felt safer…” She stared at him and wondered if he understood. It wasn’t that he didn’t make her feel safe, it was that she wanted that barrier. It wasn’t meant to keep him out, it was meant to make her feel safer. That was all. She hadn’t been able to have those barriers when she’d lived in that house with Merlyn.

“I was just worried,” he said quietly. Olivia was now fast asleep and quietly snoring on Oliver’s shoulder. He didn’t seem phased by it. Felicity just stared at him as he stared back at her. “Don’t apologize for wanting to feel safe… You should never apologize for that…”

“I don’t even really remember what it was all about,” she said quietly as his arm wrapped around her and he scooted closer. She let her head fall onto his free shoulder and her weight fell against him. She closed her eyes and knew that she really was safe right there and then. 

“When I was on the island,” Oliver said and then paused. “When I was trying to figure out where I what I was going to do when I got back… If I could move on… If I would put the hood back on and be the Arrow again… If I could forgive myself… Every night when I went to sleep, I dreamt of you… Sometimes it was made up...and sometimes it was just the simple moments…”

She loved to listen to the sound of his voice. It was soothing and reminded her that she was safe with him. “Tell me about it,” Felicity whispered.

“Let me lay Olivia back down,” he told her. Oliver kissed her forehead and then slowly eased out off the bed.

Felicity waited there for him. She could see the faint outline of him in the dark. She waited patiently as she watched him lay Olivia back down. It amazed her at how easily he’d seemed to step into that role. He walked away from the pack n play and back towards the living room without a sound.

“Oliver?” she whispered. Felicity started to panic slightly. He’d said he was going to put Olivia down and then come right back.

“I’m just getting my phone,” Oliver called back quietly. “I don’t want to miss one of Diggle’s check ins.”

Another minute and he was sitting back on the edge of the bed again. He scooted farther towards her and after a moment, they got comfortable. He wrapped an arm around her and Felicity’s head was happily resting on his shoulder once again. She pulled up the blanket and wrapped her arm around his torso. 

“Sometimes I just dreamt about what I missed about you. How your face lit up when you were happy… Or the times that you got mad at me.” He laughed then. “When I promoted you and you told me that you wouldn’t be getting me coffee…”

“I was serious.”

“That one time you brought me coffee, but made sure I knew that it was just that one time.” He sighed. “Your smile. Your voice. Sometimes I’d wake and I’d swear I heard you call my name. When I’d wake, I’d hope that I was still dreaming and that I’d find you there on the island with me.”

“No offense, but I really don’t want to go back to that island...ever,” Felicity told him as she closed her eyes. “Especially if it requires me to get there the way Diggle and I did last time.”

“Once, I did dream that you were on the island. You weren’t miserable--”

“That should have been your clue.”

He laughed again. “I didn’t mind that I knew that it wasn’t real. For that moment, I could live in it and you were there with me. I taught you how to use the bow...how to shoot… We ate around the fire together at night and when the sun was high we’d swim in the waters together…”

“I wish I could experience your dreams with you,” she whispered. Felicity had hoped and wished and dreamed of Oliver saving her while she’d first been held by Malcolm Merlyn, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. She’d been sure he would come, but she knew that telling him that now would just make himself blame himself more...and she didn’t want that. Oliver didn’t know that Malcolm was still alive. 

“Do you remember when we first met?” 

She smiled in the dark. “I’m pretty sure that I thought that you believed that I really was a dumb blonde.”

“I would never think that.”

“Or maybe you really didn’t expect me to actually be observant.”

“Let’s face it...neither of us are very good at making up stories for Arrow business… Now or then,” Oliver told her.

“Okay, well, you at least can generally get away with the excuse that it’s Queen Consolidated business because you’re the boss… Not so easy for me.”

“You’re my assistant. I need you. There really should be nothing confusing about that.”

“Are you going to go back?” Felicity asked suddenly. “To being the boss?”

“What?”

“I was just wondering…” she stated. “Because… I have no idea if I have a job… If a psychopath who works for the league of assassins and shoots arrows who’s also supposed to be dead kidnaps you...do you get to come back to your job?”

“I would say yes, but I don’t know,” Oliver admitted. “I dropped the ball… I couldn’t cope.”

“I figured that part out…”

“I don’t know if I can even go back even if I wanted to,” he said.

She could hear the sadness in his voice. She knew that her absence had been a loss to him and had affected not only him, but the world around him. “Do you want to?”

“I never wanted to be CEO… Walter was good at it, but everyone wanted me to… I got pushed into it--”

“Diggle and I sort of helped with that,” she said and felt a little guilty about it. 

Oliver sighed and tightened his embrace a bit. “But I didn’t want to let the family down… I didn’t want Isabel taking over…”

“I did appreciate not losing my job--”

“But not your promotion--”

“Not right away,” she whispered. Her eyes opened and she looked up at him in the dark. She kissed his cheek. “I loved being able to see you everyday, Oliver… Even if I didn’t want to get you coffee or be some kind of glorified secretary… I loved it. You were a different person. Though, I never knew your father, I think he’d have been proud. I’m sure your mother and Walter were… You did the best you could. You held Queen Consolidated together for a long while...and sometimes we all need a break...in order to well, break down…”

“I don’t know that I can just walk back into there… They said that I went to rehab,” Oliver explained.

“People come back from rehab. They continue on with their lives. Even a celebrity like Oliver Queen.”

“I’m not a celebrity.”

“Oh, you are… I’m sure there are posters or something,” Felicity teased as she strained to see the amusement on his face. “You probably have at least a horde of fangirls who would all love to be Mrs. Queen,” she teased.

“Fangirls?”

“It’s a thing. You’re like an american prince. You just don’t have a castle… If you had that castle that they used for Hogwarts you’d have way more than a horde… You’d definitely be unable to walk the streets without protection…”

“You’re scaring me…”

Felicity just grinned. “Oliver Queen, are you trying to tell me that you’re afraid of droves of girls that are just willing to throw themselves at you?”

“I don’t want girls throwing themselves at me,” he told her. “I’d rather throw myself at just one girl in particular…”

“Oh?”

“I’m not sure she knows I exist.”

“I can guarantee you, she knows you exist…”

“How can you be so sure?”

“You’re Oliver Queen.”

“Would you like that?” he questioned. 

Felicity wasn’t sure how to respond to that. For so long, she’d been the one to pursue or show any kind of interest… He’d never responded back in kind. He’d never exactly swayed her interest, but that wasn’t the same as encouraging it. She wasn’t sure what she thought about him being the one to pursue her. “You want to…court me?”

“Do they call it courting?”

“They used to...back before...like everything modern,” she rambled. “It was the best word I could come up with while my mind was trying to figure out how to respond.”

“I love you, Felicity Smoak. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring for either of us...or the next day...or the next. The one thing I know is that I want to see where this goes. I want us to try… I want to give this a chance… If you’re willing?”

Tears fell from her eyes and she felt his lips on her forehead again. She closed her eyes and thought about how she’d never expected him to utter such beautiful words. “You know I’m more than willing…”

“I know you’re worried about the future… I don’t know what tomorrow will bring or where we’ll be next week. I do know that you and I can get through anything if we’re together. Tonight, we cry and we talk and we get out every scary thing that happened in those six months… Tomorrow, we work on building our lives again.”

 

. . .

 

The morning came too early, mainly because they had a fifteen month little girl who demanded that they be awake on her schedule. Too bad they hadn’t gone to sleep on her schedule. Felicity and Oliver had gotten only a couple of hours of sleep, but it felt like more. Felicity wasn’t sure if he was due to sleeping in Oliver’s arms or just feeling like they’d shed a lot of emotional baggage. Of course, they really hadn’t talked about everything, but they’d covered a lot.

She cooked them breakfast and made sure that there was plenty of coffee. It was a little odd having so many people in her apartment, but it was nice at the same time. It really felt like having a family. 

“Mama...apple…” Olivia said as she walked around the kitchen. 

Felicity looked around for Oliver, but didn’t see him. She swore that he’d just been playing with Olivia. She plated up their breakfasts and kept looking to see where Olivia was. She knew what she was doing. Olivia liked to steal an apple, say the word, take a bite or two out of it, and then discard it. Luckily, Felicity didn’t have apples...mainly because Diggle had just had a small bag of groceries. They really were lucky that eggs had been on the list.

“Come on, Baby,” Felicity said as she held one of the plates before reaching down to grab Olivia’s hand. She was tall enough that she could reach the edges of the counters and pull the other plates down. So, she led her to the table. She didn’t have a high chair, but at least Olivia couldn’t be pulling breakfast plates down while Felicity was setting the plate in her hand on the table. 

“Mr. Queen--”

Felicity stopped. She leaned down and picked up Olivia. The voice of Officer Lance caught her ear and she headed towards it. She found the door just a tad open, Oliver and Lance were standing right outside. She hadn’t even heard him knock. 

“Look, I’m just asking you to come back later… Let me tell her,” Oliver said.

“I understand that Ms. Smoak has been through a lot, but this is important. This affects other people. We can’t take this at your timeline.”

“I’m just asking--”

Felicity pulled the door open, Olivia on her hip. She figured that she really needed to be in on this conversation even though she really didn’t like where it was heading. She was fairly sure that she knew why Lance was there. Olivia. That was really the only reason that Oliver would be having a conversation like that with Lance.

“What’s going on?” Felicity asked.

“It’s okay,” Oliver said quickly. “I’m--”

“No, she needs to hear this,” Lance interrupted. “We’ve found the girl’s family. She came up as a missing person in our database.”

Felicity felt like she couldn’t breathe suddenly. She looked at her little Olivia and thought about running for a moment. She knew this was coming, but that didn’t mean that she really wanted to face it. “You found her family?”

“Her name is Isabelle. Her parents call her Izzy. She has a big brother. They’ve been looking for her since she disappeared. They were playing at a park, she was taken when the parents looked away for a moment,” Lance told her. “They live in Coast City. My bosses have already asked them to come here. They’ll be here tonight.”

It was almost too much. 

“They’re a good family, Ms. Smoak. The dad’s a professor and the mom’s an online teacher, so she can be at home with the kids…”

Malcolm Merlyn really had destroyed lives… But it seemed like he wasn’t done yet. What could Felicity say? She really didn’t know what she could do. She had to prepare herself for what was coming whether she wanted to or not. She saw the look on Oliver’s face, like he wished that he could make it better...like he could make it so that she could keep Olivia, not even he could do that. Felicity knew that. 

She had to accept it.

She’d known it was coming.

“Do they know--” she started.

“My boss told them that a woman was kidnapped around the same time and that she’d been caring for Izzy as her own until she was able to get away,” Lance told her. “The parents did ask to meet you… I figured since you still had her that that wasn’t going to be a problem.”

“No...that’s fine,” she said slowly and quietly. She was still trying to process everything. She’d wanted more time. Felicity had told herself that if she had time...then maybe she could come to accept it easier, but the truth was...it was never going to be easy. She’d always think of Olivia as hers and having to hand her over to these people...that was going to be the hardest thing to do. They didn’t even live nearby. It wasn’t even like she could go and visit to watch her play at the park…

“Felicity,” Oliver had started to say. She reached out and touched his arm. It had seemed like enough to silence him for now.

“Thank you for coming here yourself to tell me,” she managed to say. 

Lance looked concerned. “I know you love that kid...but so does that family… I wish I could make this easier for you.”

“She deserves to be with them,” she said quietly. “Thank you again,” Felicity whispered before heading back into the house. She held Olivia tighter and tried to tell herself that she still had the rest of the day. She was still going to be Olivia to her. 

A few moments later, she heard the door shut and footfalls. “Felicity?”

“I put breakfast on the table…”

“I--”

“I know,” she whispered as she shut her eyes and tried to keep the tears back. 

“Maybe I can--”

“No,” she told him. She knew that he wanted her to be happy, but this child...as much as she’d hoped...she just wasn’t hers to keep. One day, Felicity knew that then she could have a child...and a family… She just hoped that her child would be as beautiful, as precious, as smart, and as cuddly as Olivia had been. And she hoped...that when that day came, that her child’s father would love her…

 

. . .

 

“I honestly don’t know how to thank you enough,” Miranda Kennish gushed. Tears had been falling from the woman’s eyes since before she walked through the door. She was a beautiful woman, older than Felicity by a few years, but with similar coloring. At first, Olivia/Izzy hadn’t gone to Miranda, but had hid behind Oliver. When she saw her older brother though, it was like it had clicked. She’d run out and hugged him and giggled and it was like they’d never been separated. “When they told me that someone else had been held and had taken care of Izzy like they were her own, it brought me so much comfort...to know that she was so well taken care of and loved when I couldn’t be there…”

“She’s a good girl,” she whispered. Felicity really didn’t know what else she could say. This was breaking her heart, but at the same time, she knew that this was the right thing. 

Isabelle Kennish was the daughter of Miranda and Peter. She had a big brother who was four, Isaac. Both children looked just like Miranda, while Peter had darker features. As they neared the door, Felicity couldn’t help but think of how they looked like the perfect family. Peter carried Isaac while Miranda carried Izzy. 

It really was taking everything she had not to break down right there. Oliver was there, but he’d kept quiet for the most part and had given her space. Which she’d needed and appreciated, but it was all just so much. Suddenly, as they were almost out the door, Felicity lost it. Tears fell and a sob escaped her lips. She tried to turn so that they wouldn’t see her. Felicity had wanted to be strong, but it was just so hard. Before Oliver could even reach her, Miranda had an arm around her. Izzy was laying her head on her shoulder as well. 

“I didn’t think about how hard this must be for you--”

“It’s okay,” Felicity said quickly as she pulled away after a moment. She wiped away the tears. “I just--”

“The officer said that the people who held you captive made you think that she was yours… I didn’t think about how it must feel for you,” Miranda said. Her voice was sincere and full of emotion. 

“I know she’s going to be home with people who love her,” Felicity said. She reached out and touched the little girl’s face. “It’s still hard…” She’d told Izzy her goodbyes before they’d arrived, but seeing her leave was even harder than she’d thought. 

“You know that if you’re ever in town, we’d love for you to stop by…” Miranda said. 

“I would like that,” Felicity replied, though she wasn’t sure how often she would get to visit. “You should go,” she said and took a deep breath. She stepped forward and kissed Izzy’s cheek. “I love you, Baby… You’re going home now…”

“Bye bye. Love you,” Izzy told her. She blew kisses for a minute. 

Felicity watched as they went. Miranda had spent time when they’d first arrived gushing about all the things she’d missed. Izzy had been walking, but hardly talking when she’d last seen her. Now she was running and climbing and getting into everything. She was also saying all kinds of words and a phrase here and there. Felicity had been the one who had mothered her through all those months. 

Oliver pulled her into his arms the moment the door was shut. Felicity cried into his chest as his arms held her tight. Her sobs racked her chest. At one point, she started to feel like she wasn’t going to be able to hold herself up, but Oliver just led her over to the couch. Eventually she couldn’t cry anymore… Her chest ached, her eyes were numb, and the skin on her face felt raw. She still shook here and there, but Oliver held her and rubbed her back. Every now and then, he’d drop a kiss onto her head. 

This was enough right now. Somehow he just knew what she needed. Felicity hadn’t needed him to tell her that everything was going to be alright or to tell her that this was for the best, for Izzy. She was sure that she could argue on both of those points. Right now, being held and having someone there was all she needed. She needed to not be alone. She needed him.

“Tomorrow,” Felicity barely whispered after some time had passed. “We’re going to Queen Consolidated.”

“Felicity--”

“It’s time to get life back on track,” she said a little louder. She repositioned herself so that her head was in his lap, so she could watch him. Felicity stretched out and let her legs fall over the end of the couch. 

“It doesn’t have to be tomorrow,” Oliver argued.

“Tomorrow.”

“Felicity--”

“There’s no better time,” she told him. She was determined to keep going. She was afraid that if she stopped and dwelled on having to give up the child that she’d thought was her daughter that she’d break apart. Felicity knew that right now, there was too much to get done. She didn’t have the luxury of having a breakdown. At least not right now. 

“I--”

She reached up and cupped his cheek. “You’ve been here to support me,” she whispered. She realized then as she really tried to speak that her throat felt stripped. Too much crying. If Felicity felt up to it, she’d have gotten up and gotten herself a beverage. Right now, though, that just wasn’t going to happen. “Let me be here for you…”

“Felicity, you deserve time,” Oliver started.

“I really don’t think I could manage to keep sane if you try to force me to actually do that,” she told him honestly. 

He stared at her for a long time and she wondered what he was thinking about. She was sure that he was worried about her, but the truth was...they’d both lost six months. They needed to make up for that lost time and the sooner they did that, the better it was going to be for them both. They’d both made choices. Had they been the right ones? She still wasn’t sure. She hoped so. Did it make things easier? Absolutely not. 

“Right now, I think I just need to stay busy,” she told him. “Remember when you went to the island after Tommy died? I still worked in IT, but I also had to keep myself from going crazy without doing our thing at night...and so I worked my magic.”

He laughed and smiled down at her. “And it was absolutely perfect.”

“Of course it was,” she told him with smile and so much confidence suddenly. 

The sound of Oliver’s ringtone filled the room suddenly. She watched as Oliver looked around for it, so she did so as well. They both looked around and Felicity was pretty sure that they both spotted it at the same time because they both groaned at the same time. It was on the other side of the living room, which meant moving. Oliver lifted her head, got up from the couch, and eased her head down onto the cushions before heading over for the phone.

“You can tell him that we’ll be okay if he just waits to see us until tomorrow,” she teased.

“Hello?” Oliver said as the phone went up to his ear.

She watched him. He paced the kitchen and spoke quietly to Diggle, but he seemed worked up. She wondered if it had something to do with the Arrow… It was still a little different to think that Diggle, Roy, and Thea had been running things during the last six months. Someone had to do it though. Things hadn’t exactly just stayed quiet after The Undertaking, the group that called themselves the Hoods had emerged and caused chaos. They really didn’t need a new group that called themselves the Arrows to emerge and cause havoc...and take Oliver’s new identity/nickname. 

While Oliver was in his seemingly heated discussion with Diggle, there was a knock at the door. Felicity got up to answer it. She had relaxed a bit. They’d kept the blinds turned and the drapes mostly pulled, just in case, but with security outside...there was really this sense of safety for her. No one would come up to her door unless they’d passed through security first. She really wasn’t expecting anyone, but she’d half expected Lance to come back and check on her. Felicity was certain that she looked like a mess the last he’d seen her, though she probably still looked like one. She hadn’t taken time to clean up her make-up, but Oliver hadn’t said anything and she’d forgotten about it until now.

Her hand was on the doorknob, having not looked through the peephole beforehand because there was so much security, she was twisting it when Oliver’s yell only first distracted her attention rather than to stop her actions. The door was pulled open and her head turned towards him as her name continued to spill out of his mouth.

“Felicity!”

Oliver had the phone in his hand, but it was the look on his face that kept her eyes on him longer. It was a mix of hatred, fear, concern, and so much more… His eyes burned with all of the emotion. She knew before she even looked that who she would find on the other side of the door was not someone that they wanted to see. So, when she turned back towards the visitor, she was not shocked or surprised. 

Malcolm Merlyn.

It had to be. 

He was clad in black, hood and everything. The bow was what told her that it was Merlyn. He was in his stance, bow in hand, and ready with an arrow. She just stood there and stared at him. She’d known that he’d come looking for her and Olivia. Felicity had thought he’d have shown up sooner than now. She was certain that he had to have known where they were, but maybe he’d not wanted to infiltrate the Queen mansion? There was the possibility of injuring Thea if he’d done that.

“Malcolm,” she whispered.

“Hello Felicity,” he replied. His voice was smooth and calm. She would expect nothing less. “You broke our agreement…”

“Please,” she started to plead.

“And you gave away our daughter.”

“She wasn’t ours,” she replied quietly. “You stole her from her family.”

Merlyn didn’t move an inch. “I needed you to believe. I needed you to trust in the life that I was providing you.”

“You wanted me, Merlyn!” Oliver called from behind Felicity. “Leave her alone!”

“Hush now,” Merlyn said, still completely calm. Felicity kept still. “I’m talking to my wife.” She noticed for a moment, that he’d moved his eyes from her to Oliver and then back. 

“She’s not your wife,” Oliver said. “You’re dead--”

“Then you’re talking to a ghost.”

Felicity could hear Oliver walking up behind her. She knew that he probably wanted to protect her, but this was the past coming back...for both of them. Malcolm Merlyn had known who Oliver was… He’d come for her because she’d run… Felicity just wasn’t sure what he was going to do. She was certain that he’d killed all of the security that Diggle had arranged to watch her building. All those lives, she felt like their blood was on her hands… Would Merlyn kill her and Oliver right then and there? 

“Merlyn--”

Felicity put her hand out, not looking for Oliver, just hearing him. Her hand ran into his body, but it didn’t seem to stop him. “Please, Oliver,” she pleaded. Felicity wondered if she could fix this. If she could agree to go back with him. If he’d leave Oliver alone if she did… Would he leave everyone alone? 

“She’s going to ask me to take her back,” Merlyn said. 

“No!” Oliver yelled.

Closing her eyes, Felicity tried to remain calm. She’d been nothing but an emotional rollercoaster. This wasn’t helping. She breathed in and tried to think of what her next decision would be. This choice...if Merlyn agreed to it...it would affect them all...again. She’d have to live with it and she knew this time, she couldn’t run. This time she had to do it alone. She’d given up Olivia and she doubted that even Malcolm Merlyn would go to the lengths in order to reconstruct their ‘family’ after she knew the truth.

“I’m waiting,” Merlyn spoke.

Tears fell down her face. “What about Oliver? The others?” she asked. 

“No guarantees.”

“Felicity, don’t do this,” Oliver pleaded.

She opened her eyes and looked to him. He looked like she was breaking his heart. Felicity knew that if she agreed to go with Malcolm that it would be absolute hell, but losing Oliver...she feared that it would be worse. “You can’t come after me,” she barely whispered.

“I will search to the ends of the Earth for you,” he told her. “Don’t do this. There’s another way.”

“There’s no other way,” Merlyn said. 

Before she could say or do anything, Oliver was between her and Merlyn. “Just shoot me!” Oliver yelled at him. “Do what you want with me, but leave Felicity out of it…”

Merlyn laughed. “You really don’t know what this is about, do you?” It was the first time that Malcolm Merlyn had showed any kind of emotion since arriving. “This isn’t about you, my dear boy! I find you a worthy opponent… There was a time where I thought of you as a son...and maybe that’s why I can’t bring myself to reveal your secret or kill you… You were always stronger than Tommy was…”

“He was stronger than you knew,” Oliver told him. “You killed him before you could really know him…”

“All I want,” Merlyn said. His voice was full of emotion. “All I want is a family. That was taken from me.” He paused. “My wife. Murdered. My son. Murdered. My daughter. Kept secret from me all this time…”

“You killed, Tommy!” Oliver spat at him. “No matter if you are Thea’s biological father or not...you can’t change the fact that Robert Queen raised her. She’s not a child! She’s an adult! Would you really take her life and shake it upside down for no reason? Knowing that you are biologically her father doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to me. She’s happy! Let her be happy!”

“She should know!” Merlyn yelled back. From where Felicity stood, she could see the bow quiver just a bit in his hands. Speaking about Thea always worked him up, Felicity had a feeling that it had to do with him feeling like Moira had betrayed him. Felicity didn’t fault Moira for what she did though. “None of you are guiding her! She shouldn’t be with that boy from The Glades! He’s a criminal!”

“You’re a mass murderer,” Oliver pointed out. 

“What I do, I do for the good of everyone!”

“A jury would see it differently.”

“And I could pay them to see it my way…”

“What are you saying?”

Malcolm was silent for a moment. “Give me my wife… She and I will disappear...again… Somewhere where you’ll never find us. I’ll even let the child stay with her family. You and your family can live…”

“You’re not taking Felicity,” Oliver said firmly.

“Oliver,” she said, feeling like maybe she should be able to have a say in this. 

“I know what you did to her.”

“I trained her to be a good wife,” Malcolm told him. 

“Malcolm Merlyn! You have failed this city!”

The familiar line made them all freeze and look around. Felicity wondered if whoever was saying that knew that they weren’t using that line anymore.

“Again!”

Before she could even find where the voice was coming from, Oliver started to fight with Merlyn. She took a step back, but really didn’t know what to do or where to go from there. She was pretty well trapped in her apartment at the moment. Felicity also didn’t know what was going on with the ‘Hood’ phrase echoing about or how to keep Oliver and Malcolm from killing each other. 

The familiar sound of an arrow flying through the air had Felicity panicking. She realized that she couldn’t see Oliver or Malcolm and moved in hopes to get them into her line of sight. Her name was yelled and what came next, she was unable to stop.

“Felicity!”

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	5. Six Months Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...my daughter hasn't been sleeping again 0_0 But also, I warn you now...this is not the chapter you were expecting. Yes, I'm a very mean author. I promise that the next chapter will be well worth the wait though. This chapter doesn't pick up where the last one ended... That's right, you won't know what happened to Felicity... Did she get shot? Did someone else? Who shot the arrow? Did someone die? All to be answered in the NEXT chapter! Instead, this chapter answers the question "What happened between Oliver and Felicity before she was taken by Merlyn? Why were they fighting?" Read below and find out!

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Shut up!”

“Felicity!”

“What?”

Her giggles filled the lair as he kissed her neck, his hands under her blouse, which had already been pulled out of the skirt she was wearing. Felicity was sitting up on a table and Oliver was standing between her legs. It was something out of one of her dreams… She still wasn’t sure if it was true…or real…

Their day had started off normal and boring at Queen Consolidated, but then Oliver had almost died. Or at least she thought that he had. He’d been shot, but it had been in the shoulder and a through and through. She’d cleaned it and dressed it, but all the time waiting...the waiting had been the hardest part. She had remembered when Oliver had come to save her at QC from the Count and he was checking on her and Felicity had realized he had been shot. To him, it had been nothing. Felicity didn’t think any kind of bullet holes in your body was ‘nothing’.

Diggle wasn’t there, he was sick and they’d both told him to stay at home instead of electing for him to share his germs by coming into work or to Verdant. So, after she’d finished bandaging his wounds, there had just been something there… Diggle wasn’t there to act as any kind of mediator or as the one who normally patched Oliver up. One thing had just led to another and Felicity had found herself up on the table rather than Oliver. They’d kissed for so long… It had been like nothing she’d expected and then his hands had started to explore her skin. 

“Oliver,” she whispered as her lips met his again. 

She’d always been so clear with her feelings for him, it was almost too much now to have those feelings returned. Normally, Felicity would be one to take it slow, but tonight...there was something different between them. She could see desire in his eyes and she knew that he cared for her, even if he hadn’t said the words. Felicity felt like she was the one who knew Oliver the best. There were even some things that she didn’t think Diggle could see in him. 

Their kisses were eager and though they were barely making skin to skin contact, she didn’t think that they should hang around in the Arrow lair for long if this was going much farther. It really was a place for working… She hadn’t personally been stitched up on the table, but she had a feeling that it wasn’t the most comfortable place. 

“We shouldn’t do this,” he said again.

Felicity knew that he kept saying that, but he also kept kissing her and his hands were moving higher under her blouse along her spine. Obviously he either wanted her to be like ‘okay, let’s stop’ or to just ignore it. “Then stop,” she finally breathed. His response was to cover her mouth with his. She smiled against him and then finally pulled back to breathe. 

“I don’t want to stop,” he whispered as he kissed along her neck.

“Then don’t,” she practically purred.

“Come home with me,” Oliver said.

She wanted to tell him yes, to not think about it. Things had changed, though. She knew that Thea was always with Roy, but now Mrs. Queen was no longer at Iron Heights, which meant that there could be an awkward exchange at the house if she went home with him. She really wasn’t sure how she felt about that. One thing Felicity knew was how she felt about this moment and she didn’t want to give it up. “Are you going to sneak me in?” she half teased like they were teenagers.

“I’m just going to carry you in and up to my room,” he said with confidence. It was almost like he was drunk with it. He smiled at her as his fingers continued to run against the bare skin of her torso. “Are you afraid we’re going to get caught?”

“That thought had crossed my mind,” she admitted. 

“I’m not worried…”

 

. . .

 

The night was beautiful and though they both had seemed like they wanted each others’ clothes off right then and there once Oliver’s bedroom door was closed, they took their time. It was everything that Felicity had dreamed of and so much more. As they lay in his bed, wrapped in each other’s arms and sheets, Felicity stared at his face which was only lit by the moonlight streaming in through his window. 

Oliver Queen.

The man that she’d loved, but had always felt was unattainable.

Here they were, happy and cuddling in bed together, and rather naked at that. Felicity was beaming, she was certain. Her face muscles were going to hurt in the morning from it. He looked so serene and just...at peace as they lay there. 

“I told you not to carry me,” she teased after a while.

He laughed. “I never liked that lamp,” Oliver told her. “I needed an excuse to get a new one.”

“Good thing that you didn’t carry me in from the car like you kept saying,” she continued. They both laughed. He held her closer and kissed her forehead. 

Instead of carrying her in from his car, they’d ended up, pathetically and much like teenagers, dashing up the stairs to his room after seeing that the coast was clear. Once his bedroom door had closed, they’d started to disrobe and once she was down to barely anything he was carrying her to the bed. That was when his bedside lamp had met its end. It had been an accident and had probably caused far more laughter at the time that would have brought attention to his room rather than the actual crash. 

“That lamp was trying to jump out at you,” he joked. 

They laughed more. 

His lips were on her again, tracing the curve of her face. Felicity sighed happily and ran her fingers through his short hair. Even this simple moment, it made all the moments with Oliver where he’d snipped at her or been not exactly nice to her worth it… She knew that people weren’t perfect, especially not Oliver Queen, but she’d longed to see this tender side of him for so long...the side that completely let go. They’d been so close here and there, but never like this...never when he’d let his guard down completely… 

It was so late and Felicity knew that they both needed to sleep. Felicity was just happy that they’d all started to carry a set of clothes in their cars. So, she’d grabbed hers before they’d left Verdant. It wasn’t anything special, but it would be good enough for work. Plus, she doubted that her boss would complain. Morning, she knew, would come too soon. But how she’d love to stay awake all night just to watch him. 

“What?” he whispered with a smile.

She’d obviously been watching him a little too obviously. “I just… I--” she started to ramble. Felicity stopped herself and stared at him. She always told him how she felt about things, even if he might not like it. “I love you,” she whispered. 

“Felicity, I--” 

But he didn’t finish whatever he was going to say. Felicity felt crushed suddenly. She watched as he fought with a variety of emotions. He obviously kept going back and forth with what his response to her would be. He’d open his mouth and then shut it and then open it again just to shut it once more. 

“It’s okay,” she whispered, trying to hide her heartbreak. Felicity kept her tears back and tried to tell herself that Oliver really wasn’t one for spilling out emotions. Getting to this point hadn’t come easily for either of them, so how could she have expected him to admit that he loved her as well? “You don’t have to say it.” 

His lips were on hers and she wondered if this was really the only way right now that he knew how to communicate his feelings for her. Felicity knew that Oliver cared for her, he’d risked his life to save her. He’d left his mother’s trail in order to save her when the Count had her at Queen Consolidated. He’d killed for her, to keep her safe. He’d told her that there was no other choice. 

“Maybe I should go,” she said after a moment. She had left her car behind at Verdant, but she was sure that she could manage to get home from the Queen mansion just the same. Felicity didn’t know if maybe they really had rushed things, it hadn’t been her intention. It had just sort of snowballed out of control. One minute she was hugging him and the next minute they were kissing and then clothing was being pulled free and then they were in bed together naked. It really hadn’t been her plan when she’d first arrived at Verdant that night.

“Stay,” he told her as he reached out to grab her hand. Oliver was staring at her and she could see that he didn’t want her to leave. He squeezed her hand for a moment. 

So, she stayed. Felicity really had been unable to say no to him. At least in most cases where he tried to be charming or just undeniable like now. She’d moved away from him before, but now he was pulling her back to him. Felicity lay on her side with her head being cradled by his arm and her hand on his chest. 

She listened to him breathe and kept her eyes closed. Felicity was fairly sure that he wasn’t asleep either, but the two of them lay still like that until they finally did doze off. Even though it wasn’t an abundance of sleep, it had been the best sleep that Felicity had had in a long time.

 

. . .

 

“I didn’t realize that your assistant was making house calls.”

Felicity froze. They’d been so close to making it out the door without running into Mrs. Queen. Oliver turned and she turned only slightly. She kept her head down and let Oliver do the talking. After all, whenever she tried to come up with a good excuse for things at QC when it came to Isabel, they just never came out the way they sounded in her head.

“I have an early meeting and she came to help brief me,” Oliver said. 

“At three o’clock in the morning?” 

They were so busted. 

Felicity flinched and continued to keep her head down. Just what she needed, Mrs. Queen thinking that she was some kind of office slut. She really wasn’t. It was hard because people just didn’t know how close she and Oliver really were… Even if they did, Felicity wasn’t sure if it would make things easier or not.

“It’s a long story, Mom,” Oliver finally said. 

“I’m sure it is,” Moira responded. “It would be nice to see both of my children at dinner one night though.”

“I’m sure that Thea and I can coordinate something where we could make that work,” Oliver said. 

Moira was moving towards them and Felicity was doing her best not to panic. “I think Roy could handle Verdant for one night and your Ms. Smoak here could handle any late night work related preparations.”

And she knew her name. 

Felicity really was trying not to pass out right there from pure embarrassment and fear that Moira Queen would find a way to fire her from the company. “I’ll meet you outside, Mr. Queen,” she finally said quietly. Still keeping her head down, she nodded towards where Moira stood. “Mrs. Queen.” Felicity quickly exited through the front door and down the steps. It was only when she was finally through the doors that she felt like she could actually inhale air once again. 

She moved towards his car and around to the passenger side. She waited with her head down. This wasn’t exactly how she wanted to start the day off. It seemed like a lot more time had passed than had, she checked her cell phone nervously and started to seriously contemplate calling Diggle. Did she really want to do that? Absolutely not. The three of them worked together so closely and for so much time every day, it was nice to have some secrets. Though, she was certain that her relationship with Oliver wouldn’t stay that way long.

“I’m sorry,” Oliver said as he approached the car. “I--”

“It’s fine,” she said and pulled on the door handle. “Can we just...you know, get in...leave…”

The car ride was silent between them. Felicity had just wanted to look out her window and think. It had been a lot for her to deal with Isabel at Queen Consolidated, she just really didn’t want to have to think that now she had to fear Oliver’s mother. She supposed that she could be thankful that it seemed like Isabel and Moira weren’t friendly or else she’d have to fear them uniting against her in any way.

“Felicity, you haven’t said a word since the house,” Oliver said quietly. She knew that they were going to be at the QC underground parking structure at any moment. This was really their last chance to talk in private.

“Your mother--”

“Shouldn’t have said what she said,” Oliver finished. “She just doesn’t understand. Everyone sees you, me, and Digg from the outside… They see us how we are at Queen Consolidated, but know nothing of what the three of us do at night or what we’ve been through. What we’ve been through together.”

“And they’ll never know any of that,” Felicity told him. She looked over at him finally. “So, to everyone on the outside… You’re in...whatever this is,” she said as she motioned between them. “A relationship or whatever you want to call it with your secretary… I’m sure they’d use some lovely names for me…”

“Felicity, it was one night.”

Her eyes immediately filled with tears and she looked back to the window. She ducked her head and wondered if he realized how much his words stung. Felicity didn’t know how she was going to look at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t one of those women who went around and had one night stands… She didn’t just rush into relationships. She thought she’d made all the right decisions the night before…

“Felicity, that didn’t come out right…” he said a beat later.

She sat there in silence as Oliver pulled his car into the underground parking. Once he’d pulled the car into his parking spot, she looked back over at him. Felicity stared at him for a long moment, her hand on the door handle. “Sometimes I wish that you’d really think...and then say what you feel… Just once.” 

Felicity left Oliver in the car and hurriedly headed towards the elevator in hopes that she wouldn’t have to spend the ride up to the office with him in the elevator car. She was going to spend the rest of the day with him and later… Felicity just wanted a few minutes alone before the extremely awkward and what would probably be the longest day of her life began. 

“Hey...you okay?” 

Felicity looked up and realized that she was standing in the elevator and the doors were open. Diggle was there staring at her. Felicity sighed and exited the elevator. She turned to him. “I’ve had a long day.”

“It’s not even nine yet…”

“Think that you could send me home?” she teased. 

“I could talk to your boss.”

“Good luck with that,” she said and figured that maybe she should stop by the ladies room first in order to make sure that her face didn’t look like a mess. Maybe that had been a clue to Diggle? She pushed a smile forward for him and then moved past him and headed for the ladies room. 

“Felicity?”

She stopped and sighed. Felicity turned back to him. “I’m okay.”

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“Not now, John,” she said quietly. “Maybe next week.”

“I’m here. I just want you to remember that,” Diggle told her.

“Thank you.”

 

. . .

 

The day had stretched on, but Felicity was happy when it was finally over. Well, at least part one of it was over. She’d had Diggle drop her off at home and had told him that she’d take a cab over to Verdant. Felicity had just wanted some time alone before she jumped back into a sea of awkwardness. At least for most of the night, Oliver would be out and then she’d be left with Diggle. That would be a slightly less awkward conversation.

When she entered her apartment, she stopped almost immediately. Someone had been there. She distinctly remembered locking it when she’d been there last. Felicity looked around, trying to gauge to see if they were still there. It didn’t seem like anyone was still there and she didn’t know any lying in wait type of killer who left out a rather large vase full of the most beautiful flowers that she’d ever seen. They were vibrant and wild looking. No one ever got her flowers.

Walking to the table, she reached out and pulled the small card from the bouquet. She smiled as she read the simple message.

Sorry. What I said before was wrong. I didn’t mean it like that. You are closer to my heart than you know. See you soon.  
\- Oliver

It wasn’t mushy or proclaiming love for her suddenly, but it was honest. That’s all she wanted. She put the card back in place and admired the flowers for a few moments before looking around. Her eyes fell on the refrigerator door and a large note taped on it. 

Dinner Inside

Felicity smiled brighter. It felt like a date, but without...well, the other person. She was okay with that. She needed that right now. Moving towards her kitchen, she reached out to grab the handle of the fridge. Pulling it open she smiled at the food containers that were written on. She realized then that this was one of the restaurants that didn’t do ‘to go’ if you called, but if you were Oliver Queen, they’d have it ready in less time than you would have to wait in the actual restaurant. She pulled it out and looked over the reheat instructions that was written down on the piece of paper in perfect script, most likely by one of the kitchen staff. 

So, she heated it following the instructions and put the dessert back into the fridge to stay chilled while she went to change. A lot of times she didn’t change, but she knew that she had time. Felicity had been wearing a black sleeveless dress that hugged her body all day. She just wanted something more airy and flowy. She wanted to feel like she could breathe. 

Emerging right when the timer went off, Felicity hurried to pull her dinner out. Burning it would be wrong in so many ways. She’d changed into a loose floral dress and had pulled her plum colored coat out, setting on to the side until she was ready to go . Moving her dinner onto plates, she sat at her modest table, which hardly ever happened. Tonight she was going to eat there as if she always did it and she’d take a little longer to take in the beautiful flowers that were there. 

So, she took her time and really enjoyed her dinner and just feeling loved. 

 

. . .

 

Oliver was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her. She figured that he probably heard the door at the top of the stairs open, or he had been keeping an eye on where he knew she’d park. She had had a smile on her face since seeing the flowers that she just couldn’t banish. This was a lot less awkward than she’d originally thought it was going to be, though she did notice Diggle watching them. 

“Are you okay?” Oliver whispered.

“Yes,” she replied back just as quietly. “Thank you...for everything.”

“I hadn’t meant what I said this morning,” Oliver said, trying to apologize. “The words came out--”

“Like mine do?”

“Except there was a distinct lack of innuendo in mine,” Oliver pointed out.

Felicity smiled. “That might have helped you.”

“Are we alright?”

“Yes,” she said quickly. She noticed that Diggle was still watching. Felicity suddenly wondered if he could read lips or if Oliver had talked to him. Or if Digg had simply beat the information out of Oliver. “But you know, maybe we should table this conversation for now...because you know...we have an audience…”

“He’s pretending not to watch.”

“I did notice that.”

“At least he’s trying to be polite.”

“You two do know that I know that stuff has gone on between you two, right? It’s really not a secret,” Diggle told them, fairly loudly.

Both of their heads turned to where Diggle was standing looking at them. “What?” Oliver managed to say in response.

“You two slept together and then Oliver did something to screw it up...and then he tried to fix it and it looks like it worked,” Diggle clarified.

“Wait,” Felicity said and looked from Diggle to Oliver. “You told him?!”

“No!” Oliver said quickly as he looked back at her.

“It’s really not that hard to figure you two out. I mean, it’s taken a little longer than I thought...and then you threw me for a loop this morning when you were both so moody,” Diggle explained. 

Felicity frowned a bit and waggled her finger. “You know, I liked it better when I felt like we were being better about hiding our relationship…”

“Guys, it’s really not that big of a deal,” Diggle said. “It’s not like I’m your parent or going to tell you that you can’t see each other. And let’s be honest, I should know. If something happens in the field, you could be emotionally compromised...more than before...though, it’s probably mostly the same…”

Felicity just stared at Diggle. She really didn’t know what to say. She knew that she’d been fairly clear and straightforward all along, even if she hadn’t meant to, about her feelings for Oliver. 

“So...are we going to go on with business as usual tonight?” Diggle asked.

It bugged her a bit that he was acting so calm and normal about their conversation. Felicity was seriously weirded out by it. After all, they hadn’t told Diggle about anything that had happened. It was like he had super powers. Like he was a psychic ninja. 

“That was the plan…” Oliver said slowly.

“I’m just making sure that we’re all on the same page,” Diggle said matter of factly.

“Right… Arrow stuff… Let’s do that,” Felicity said as she moved away from Oliver and headed for her station at the computer. She just wanted to get past the awkward phase of tonight’s adventures...she supposed that at least she didn’t have to worry about Diggle awkwardly finding out. Still, Diggle needed to not be so observant of them. It was like he was telepathic or psychic or something...and it was damn creepy. 

 

. . .

 

“You know we don’t have to sit in your car,” Oliver told her. “We could go to my house… I promise that I will try harder not to say stupid things in the morning.”

Felicity smiled at him. As much as she’d love to do that, she was going to pass on having to see Mrs. Queen and have her think so lowly of her. She also really wanted to be able to shower in her shower and to have her clothing to go through in the morning, because sometimes you just don’t feel like wearing the outfit that you packed as an emergency back-up. “I don’t think that worked out so well this morning… And then I had no car… Having your own vehicle comes in handy, especially when I’m mad at you,” she pointed out.

“I really am going to try to keep from upsetting you,” Oliver said. “But I guess those are valid points…”

She stared at him. She knew that he was sincere. Felicity just wasn’t sure what they should do. She wondered if he was waiting for her to invite him home. Felicity wasn’t sure if she was ready for that. It really would be like her fantasies had come to life. She just didn’t know if she was ready for Oliver to see the inside of where she lived. Her home really was her sanctuary, it was somewhere she rarely found herself. 

“I’m pushing, aren’t I?”

“I’m thinking,” she told him honestly.

“Things are different between us,” Oliver told her. “I hope you know that… It feels different to me.”

“Than all the other women in Starling and on the island that you were in a relationship with?” she teased. She watched as he smiled as he thought about her words.

“Yes.”

“It’s been a long time since I was in a serious relationship,” Felicity told him. “Which is what I do… Casual relationships is not something that I’m interested in…”

“I figured that,” Oliver told her. “But you know, it really has been a long time since I was too…”

“You mean Laurel… Gorgeous Laurel,” she whispered and looked down. Felicity knew who Oliver had ‘seen’ or ‘dated’ since she’d known him and she knew other women who had been in his life. Laurel Lance was his last serious relationship and that had been before the island. From what she’d seen of Oliver, he’d carried a torch for Laurel all those years on the island. Sometimes Felicity wondered if he still loved her and just figured that it wasn’t going to work. 

Laurel really made her think twice about whatever their relationship really was. Felicity knew that she was completely different than Laurel and she didn’t feel like she was anywhere as pretty as Laurel was. Felicity also wasn’t sure if she could compete with the fact that Laurel had grown up with Oliver. But he was changed now, so she wondered even more if all of that really mattered. 

“Felicity,” he said quietly and touched her cheek. She looked up at him. “Laurel and I were together for a long time… We grew up together… But I screwed up...a lot…” He was quiet for a moment. “Whenever it would get serious, it would be too much for me to handle, and I’d sabotage things… Like taking Sara onto the Queen’s Gambit… Laurel had been talking about us getting a place and moving in together…” Oliver stopped and just stared at her. “I’m not saying that I won’t try to sabotage things if they start to seem scary...but I can tell you that I’m a different person than I was then. I know now that Laurel and I will never work, not in that way. She’s just a friend.”

“You are different,” she said quietly. 

“You and Diggle are the two people in this world that know all sides of me. You know dark corners and some of them you’ve lived with me. You’ve stuck by my side. And though Diggle is great, he’s not you… He sees things, but you’re the one who I feel can see right through me. Try as I might to try to lock myself away, you always know. You also aren’t usually afraid to argue with me or tell me how wrong I am,” Oliver said. 

“I think you need more of that,” she told him matter of factly.

He laughed. “Who else is going to be able to accept me for me? For all of me?”

Felicity had thought about joking with his question, but he’d seemed so serious about it. So, she leaned in and kissed him. It was the best response she could come up with at the moment. “Time to say goodnight,” she whispered against his lips before kissing him again.

“Can we do something tomorrow?” he asked once they separated.

She stared at him. “We could do dinner...before we have to come here,” she offered. “But I don’t know about going back to your house...and no offense, but I’m not sure how I feel about bringing you home with me…”

“You do realize that I was there today.”

“I didn’t even think of that,” Felicity told him. At the time, she’d hoped that maybe it had been Diggle and then had completely forgotten when she’d arrived at Verdant. “It was a mess,” she said. Okay, so it wasn’t like a big mess, but not everything had been picked up...and she needed to vacuum and dust, but she was never home. “How much did you look around?”

He laughed. “Don’t worry,” he told him. “I just put the food in the fridge--”

“Which was delicious,” she said and then kissed him. “Thank you.”

“--and I put the flowers on the table.”

“Which were absolutely beautiful,” Felicity beamed. “Flowers are something that I’m not used to…”

“Then maybe you should get used to them.”

“You have to understand...that’s the only place I have to go and just not worry about everything else. I’m usually with you and Digg all day long. We’re either at QC or we’re here,” she said as she motioned to Verdant. “I’m rarely home. I sort of like having it like sacred space…”

“So, how about we go to a hotel? Somewhere nice… I wish that we could just take a whole weekend,” Oliver suggested. “But you know that I can’t just not--”

“Be Arrow?” she asked and nodded. Felicity didn’t expect him to give up being the Arrow or doing what was doing the city good for the sake of a normal night or weekend with her. “I know,” she whispered. 

“I guess it would probably be easier if I wasn’t still living at home,” Oliver said.

“The Queen mansion is huge… I don’t know what your mother would do if you left. Thea’s always with Roy…” Felicity just didn’t understand how even just Oliver and his mother could live in such a big place. She was certain that if she were Moira Queen that it would feel like too much...too much space...too much upkeep...and probably too many memories, though maybe that’s why she didn’t leave. 

“I know, but it was bound to happen...eventually…”

“Don’t go rushing into anything because of me,” Felicity told him. “I have a feeling that your mother loved Laurel...and she already hates me…”

“Don’t compare yourself with Laurel,” Oliver finally said. “You are two completely different people. Plus, I grew up with Laurel...so of course my mom loved her...but she really didn’t approve when we’d try to close the bedroom door…”

Felicity stared at him for a moment with a slight smile. “Don’t most parents with grown children harass them about when they’re getting their grandchildren?”

“Oh, don’t get her started on that…” Oliver said quickly holding up his hands. “I think she’s still relieved that I’m home...and she’s not spending life in prison.”

She could see how uncomfortable it was making him, but it was sort of nice to see that there were things that got under his skin. Felicity would think about children here and then and then would think about her life and decide that children would not fit into her life right now even if the circumstances were right for her. So, she continued to tease. “You’ve got to pass down the Queen name...keep the legacy alive--”

“Stop, stop,” he pleaded and then laughed. “I think we both know that my mother might have to get over that dream…”

“I think you’d make a great dad,” Felicity said, her tone suddenly soft and gentle. “And I think that you really deserve to have a life… You can’t really expect to be Arrow for the rest of your life, Oliver… There’s going to come a day where you get injured or there’s an exceptionally close call… Sooner or later you do have to think about retiring…”

“I just don’t think that’s in the cards for me, Felicity,” Oliver responded.

“I think it’s something that you need,” she countered. “And I think it’s something that you should really think about. Being Arrow and running Queen Consolidated can’t be everything in your life…”

 

. . .

 

A week had passed and they’d stayed the one night at a local rather expensive and beautiful hotel, but after that...they’d just stuck to sneaking (this time time with more care) into the Queen mansion and Oliver’s room. Felicity would get up early enough to leave, so that she could make it back home to shower, change, and get to work on time. So far, it had been working. Things had been quite lovely. They talked more and more and she always felt like she knew him a bit more. One thing was eating at her though and she kept telling herself that it shouldn’t. 

Not once had Oliver returned her ‘I love you’. 

She’d told herself that that was something that would come...and then it wouldn’t. Then she’d remind herself of all the lovely flowers he’d sent her. He’d even sent her some to work and had left his name off of the card, just in case someone was nosey enough to pick it up from her desk. Felicity did love being showered with beautiful bouquets of flowers. But Oliver had proved how much he cared about her in the past, he’d always come to save her...no matter what else was going on with Queen Consolidated or the Queen family. He was always there. 

It wasn’t the same, though. To her, she thought that it was a no brainer. Why was it so hard for him to tell her those words? Would it make it too real for him? Would it push their relationship too far than what he was ready for? 

No matter, now it was affecting her at work because she was sitting at her desk and that was all that she could think about. Having to look at his beautiful face really wasn’t helping things. Felicity twirled a pen and then it went flying suddenly and hit the glass between her workspace and Oliver’s. She immediately acted like she was doing something on her tablet. 

E-mail.

Yes, checking her e-mail suddenly sounded like the best plan in the whole wide world. She heard him though, he was quiet but not absolutely silent. She tried her best not to look over. Felicity knew that if she looked over then it was all over. So far, she was fairly sure that Oliver was oblivious to her not being too happy. After all, she still had to have a smile on her face and sound cheery on the phone. 

“Felicity?”

“Yes?” she asked as she tried to pretend that what was on her tablet was more important than what he had to say. She looked up at him. He held up the pen that had gone flying before between two fingers.

“Did you lose something?”

“Maybe…”

“You okay?”

“No.”

He looked around, obviously making sure that if it was private then they wouldn’t be overheard. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Oliver looked worried suddenly. “Felicity, if I’ve done something--”

“We’re at work,” she said and motioned to the empty space outside of his office. “I thought we said that we’d make sure that our relationship was kept separate from here?”

“It’s five,” he pointed out. “That’s why we’re the last ones here.”

“Oh.” Felicity glanced over at her tablet and noticed that it really was five. She had no idea how long she’d been sitting there just trying not to be irked by her thoughts about Oliver’s lack of verbal acknowledgement of his feelings for her. “I thought it was only like...three…”

“How about I stop and get us dinner? We’ll meet at Verdant and have plenty of time to talk before Digg gets there?” 

“Okay,” she said finally quietly. 

“Can I walk you to your car at least?” he asked.

Felicity smiled and nodded. She turned in her chair in order to turn everything off and to gather her things. Felicity got up from her chair and pulled her coat on. Oliver was there waiting for her when she turned back. 

They walked the elevator and went down to the parking garage together. Oliver walked her over to her car and held the door open for her as she got inside. She reached out to grab the door in order to pull it closed, but Oliver held it in place. 

“Can you just tell me what’s going on? Just so I know… It’s already eating at me…” Oliver admitted. “I promise not to hash it out right here, but just so I can start to think about it…”

Felicity sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. She knew that Oliver liked to control things and he probably just didn’t want to be surprised by the topic of conversation. She opened her eyes again, she really couldn’t fault him for that. Felicity frowned a bit. “You never tell me that you love me,” she told him simply. She watched him and waited for him to open his mouth to argue it or make an excuse, but he didn’t. Instead, he just let go of her door and stepped back from her car.

Pulling the door shut, Felicity started up her Mini Cooper before pulling out of her parking space at Queen Consolidated. She’d noticed how much longer it took Oliver to make it over to his vehicle than it normally would. She also hadn’t missed the almost devastated look on his face as he’d backed away from her car. Felicity watched him in her driver’s side mirror as she headed out of the structure.

Felicity had never guessed that that would be the last time that she’d see Oliver Queen for six months…

. . .

 

TBC…


	6. Always Right

“Where the hell did Merlyn go?!”

“That doesn’t really matter now.”

“She’s still breathing.”

“We have to get her to a hospital.”

“We can’t.”

“Oliver--”

“Tell Diggle we’re bringing her in.”

 

. . .

 

Felicity didn’t know what was going on. Well, she knew that she’d been hit by an arrow… She had no idea who had shot her, though… Felicity also didn’t know why she felt so cold and why she was suddenly so tired. She could hear voices still… Some were clearer than others. She knew that Oliver was there, his voice she kept trying to focus on. He sounded upset and angry… 

“Oli--”

“You’re safe, Felicity,” Diggle told her and she felt his hand on her shoulder. His gentle and light touch was reassuring. She knew that she was in good hands. Diggle had pulled bullets and sewn up Oliver more times than she cared to remember. “I just need you to stay calm and still for me…”

That wasn’t hard. 

“Can you open your eyes for me?” he asked.

Felicity tried and at first they just felt so heavy. Eventually, she got them open. Her vision was blurry, but she could see Diggle standing over her. She tried to turn her head, so that she could search the room. Diggle caught her head between her hands. 

“Right now, I need you to focus on me.”

So, she listened to Diggle and did what he asked. He explained what happened and what he needed to do. She’d been shot with an arrow. She’d known that much. She’d been hit too close to her heart for his liking, but he assured her that she was okay. If something happened, he told her that he didn’t care what happened...he was going to call 911 and get her to a proper hospital. She could deal with that. Felicity trusted him. 

The pain was there before, but it was like it had dulled and it was sharp again. Felicity let out a yelp and she started to move a bit. Diggle’s hands were on her, trying to still her. 

“Digg--”

“Get him back!” Diggle yelled.

Oliver.

He was there. She’d heard him before, but she’d wanted to see him. She wanted him to know that whatever had happened that it wasn’t his fault. Felicity tried to move her head again, but Diggle kept her still again. 

“Felicity, I need you to keep still. I’m going to have Roy stand here for a minute and just talk to you. I need you to stay conscious and still. I’m going to have Oliver go out and get some...items...that I need… When I come back, I’m going to give you something for the pain and then we’re going to start to remove the arrow…” 

Diggle sounded so calm. Felicity just lay there, she was certain that she was on the table that she’d seen both Diggle and Oliver on, it really wasn’t comfortable. Though, she figured that it was probably practical for cleaning purposes, especially with all of the blood that probably hit that table. 

Roy’s face came into view and she could tell that he was preoccupied, but he also seemed worried. “Hi… I’m supposed to talk to you. Diggle said that you’re not supposed to talk though...and stay still, so I guess this is a one way conversation.” 

As Felicity watched him, she studied him. He was in black and red leather and she swore that there was still smears of red paint on his face. Was Roy there before? Was Roy running around at night? She knew that he and Thea knew what was going on in the top secret land of Team Arrow. Maybe not so top secret anymore… She had assumed that Diggle was the one running around in Oliver’s outfit. He had some experience pretending to be the Hood/Arrow. Diggle also had military training.

“I’m sure you’re going to be fine,” Roy said. “You know Digg is great at patching people up… He--oh good, here he is…”

“Okay, time to start,” Diggle told her. “I’m going to start an IV. I know you don’t like needles...but you’re going to need this… You’ve lost a fair amount of blood. I’m going to get some pain meds into you first and then start the blood.” Felicity watched as he motioned. Sara was suddenly there, clad in black leather but without the mask. It seemed like Diggle had an assistant. 

The pain meds were making her feel nauseous and sleepy at the same time. She stopped listening to what Diggle was saying. Felicity was fairly sure that he was just talking her through what he was doing. She really didn’t feel the need for the play by play of him removing the arrow from her. Felicity felt so tired, she let her head fall to one side in order to move her head out of the direct light above her. She blinked and then frowned at the crumpled figure. Oliver was propped up, but obviously unconscious. 

That was the last thing she remembered.

 

. . .

 

“Oliver…” she whispered. 

Felicity had remembered seeing him. 

“How are you feeling?”

It wasn’t Oliver. It was Diggle. 

Felicity frowned deeply and she struggled to open her eyes. She looked around when she finally managed to get them open. She was determined to locate Oliver. Finally she spotted him. A chair had been pulled up next to the table and Oliver was out, he was hunched over and she realized that he was holding her hand. 

“Felicity?”

“Groggy,” she finally replied.

“Do you hurt?”

“Yes.”

“I had to give you more blood than I expected,” Diggle told her. “You’re lucky that you and Oliver have the same blood type and that we still were stocked up.”

Oliver had tried to make sure that they had enough equipment and supplies for a mini hospital, which came in handy when he was injured...and it seemed like it came in handy when other people were injured as well. She was thankful though that they didn’t need to go to the hospital or have to come up with any kind of cover story for the police. That was really the last thing they needed.

“This table is hard,” Felicity complained.

“As soon as I feel like it’s safe to move you, I promise you’ll be a lot more comfortable,” Diggle told her. He looked towards Oliver. “He’s been out of his mind with worry,” he explained. He looked back to her. “Sara said that he kept repeating that he loved you…and pleading for you to be okay”

“Well, before we had to sedate him,” Sara spoke up and came into view a moment later. “That’s why Roy was awkwardly trying to talk to you.”

Diggle shrugged. “He was a distraction… I had to make sure that I removed that arrow without nicking your heart… I couldn’t have him distracting me or you.” He looked to Oliver again. “He’s just going to wake up pissed and rested...but then he’ll be fine once he sees you.”

Felicity tried to move more and immediately felt a wave of pain and then nausea, Diggle and Sara were both pushing her back so she was flat on the table. She groaned and sucked in breath as she tried not to scream out from the sudden pain. Apparently lying still was the most comfortable as far as pain went. “Okay, I got it,” she hissed. “Moving. Bad.”

“I didn’t want to give you anything more for the pain until you woke up, so I could gauge the dosage better. I want you comfortable, but not so drugged up that you’re out of it,” Diggle explained.

“I still think that we should head back to the house…”

Diggle sighed. “Do you really think he’d go after Moira?”

“Yes,” Felicity replied even though she hadn’t been apart of the conversation. She felt like she knew Malcolm Merlyn the best there. “He’ll use her to draw Oliver out...to bring me or Thea…”

“Why would he want me?”

The voice made her close her eyes. She hadn’t realized that Thea (and probably Roy) were still there. She thought they had gone. Felicity sighed. This shouldn’t come from her and she knew that Thea should know, but at the same time...it really wasn’t her place… “I shouldn’t--”

“Please…” Thea practically begged. 

Felicity just stared at her for a moment. Why was Thea crying? Did she suspect? Or was there another reason? “What’s wrong? Did someone else get hurt?” she asked, pushing the words out and bearing through the pain. Diggle was getting her something, she was certain he could see how much pain she was in.

Thea laughed through her tears. “No… You were the only one… Though I think Ollie thought about killing me for a moment…”

Felicity was really confused now. She knew how much Oliver loved his little sister. He’d never hurt her. He really wanted to keep her safe and protected as much as possible.

Sara was the one who broke the silence. She pointed to Thea. “She’s the one who shot you,” she clarified.

“I didn’t mean to!” Thea bursted out.

“I told you that you weren’t ready for that thing,” Diggle scolded.

Felicity felt like this had been gone over before. She reached out and grabbed Thea’s hand. She cringed a lot, realizing that although she’d been hit near her heart, her arm was incredibly sore. She held onto Thea’s hand just the same and squeezed it lightly. “It’s okay… I’m okay… And we all make mistakes…”

“I was aiming for Merlyn… I hadn’t meant to hit you,” Thea said. “I’d practiced here before…”

“When you can hit the tennis balls, then you’ll be ready,” Diggle said. 

“But you said that Merlyn would want me,” Thea said. “Why?”

“I--I shouldn’t say,” Felicity said as she stared at Thea. Thea Queen had been through a lot in the last two years. Her brother had come back from the dead, but hadn’t quite come back the way that she remembered (which Felicity still felt was a good thing). Tommy had died and not only had Thea been affected by his dead, but Oliver had disappeared again. Her mother had been in prison and the death penalty had been put out there during the trial. And then Oliver had disappeared again. She and Roy had to know what was going on, which Felicity was sure was shocking…

“Please,” Thea pleaded. 

“If she’s in danger, then we should know why,” Sara said. “So, that we can better protect her.”

Felicity looked towards Oliver’s sleeping form. She had a feeling that he wouldn’t be too happy with her when he woke, but they seemed to make so much sense. They all needed to be protected after all. It really did seem like all of them under the same roof was really the best thing. 

“If Ollie knows…” Thea said.

“He wanted to protect you,” Felicity said. “I don’t blame him…”

“But I should know…”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Thea…”

Thea looked even more worried now. “The secrets...that’s what hurts more…” 

And she was right. 

“I shouldn’t be the one telling you,” Felicity said. “The reason I went with Merlyn before…”

“You went with him?” Thea asked. 

“I did it to protect Oliver...to protect all of the Queens...to keep Diggle safe...and Roy… He promised to leave everyone I loved and cared about alone if I stayed with him,” Felicity told them. The only other person she’d been this honest with was Oliver. It felt better that she was putting more of what happened out there. She knew that at least Diggle should know anyways. “He really doesn’t want to hurt Oliver… He’s known his secret, he could have told everyone the last time… He thinks of him like a son...and he wouldn’t want to hurt you, Thea.”

“I still don’t understand.”

Felicity sucked in breath and then let it out. “Your biological father isn’t Robert Queen,” Felicity said slowly. “It’s Malcolm Merlyn… And with Tommy gone, you’re the only family left in this world…”

“So--so--why--why would he just take you?” Thea asked, still confused.

“You were supposed to be his replacement family,” Sara spoke up.

Felicity just nodded the best that she could. “I didn’t want to hurt any of you… I never thought when I agreed to go with him...how Oliver would react… I never imagined how incredibly hard it would be to try to keep my deal with Merlyn--”

“You did the right thing coming back to us,” Diggle told her. He looked up at the others. “This changes things… We all need to get back to the mansion.”

“Why wouldn’t my mother tell me?” Thea asked and Felicity could see that she was still working it out. Roy had his arms around her now. 

“No matter what, Robert Queen was your father…” Felicity told her. “He raised you and loved you. He would have been proud of you, Thea. None of that changes how much your family loves you…”

“But--”

“We really don’t have time for this,” Diggle said. “We need to get back and set up security.” He looked determined and he obviously knew that Moira Queen was in serious danger. “Roy, I need you to gather up weapons. We’ll camp out in the downstairs wing, but we should be prepared. Thea, I need you to call your mother. Make sure she’s okay.”

“But--”

“It’s going to look the best coming from you,” Diggle told her. “She doesn’t know about all of this… Oliver is still unconscious or else I’d have him do it. I’m sorry, Thea, but it has to be you.” Thea and Roy moved away from her. Felicity figured that they were doing what Diggle had told them. “Sara, I need you to head back to the house… Make sure that Mrs. Queen stays safe until we get there…”

“What about Oliver?” Sara questioned.

“I’ll be able to manage to get them back both to the house,” Diggle asked. “I’m hoping that Oliver will come out of it by the time it comes to loading him into the car.”

“Good luck,” she said quickly before looking down to give her a smile. And then she was gone…

Diggle looked concerned. “I’d rather not move you yet, but I have to…”

“It’s okay… I think I can handle it,” Felicity told him. 

“Just try not to move until I’m ready to have you moved,” Diggle said. “I’ve got to check on Roy and Thea…”

Felicity wondered suddenly how the last six months went down in the Arrow lair. It seemed like at least Diggle stayed busy… He definitely had his hands full with Roy and Thea. There was no doubt about that. 

“Felicity…” 

His voice, even though it was quiet brought renewed hope that everything really was going to be okay. “Oliver,” she whispered in response. She squeezed the hand that still held hers. She turned her head and just watched him. He was stirring, but didn’t seem fully conscious yet. Maybe Diggle’s hope had come true and Oliver could walk himself to the car. She doubted he’d be too thrilled with her when she told him that she had to tell Thea (and the others) about how Merlyn was her biological father. 

“I love you,” he breathed out.

Felicity smiled as she watched him. He’d said it since she’d been back, but it was so much sweeter and sincere and pure in a way now… How he said it, his tone of voice and the emotion behind it was different. To know that that had been all he’d tried to tell her while she had been out, she knew that he meant it. Felicity knew that sometimes you really just didn’t appreciate what you had until it was gone or taken away. She swore it was true. “I know,” she responded. “I love you.”

“Speedy...she…” 

And she knew what he was trying to tell her. Speedy was Oliver’s name for Thea. Felicity had always thought that it was cute that he called his little sister by a nickname. “I’m okay,” she finally said. Felicity just smiled at him and he finally opened his eyes to look at her. She had missed those eyes. “And Thea’s...very apologetic… It’s okay… They just wanted to help…”

“I know they did, but they’re not ready,” Oliver said and groaned as he straightened. “I trained for five years… The island was life and death…”

“They have to start somewhere,” Felicity told him. “Digg can only do so much…”

“Digg’s going to retire,” Diggle said as he approached them. “Good to see you’re finally awake…”

“What did you do to me?” Oliver asked as he rubbed his face. He still seemed tired.

“Sara held you in place and I sedated you before you really knew what we were doing,” Diggle told him. “You can thank me once we get Felicity moved.”

“We shouldn’t move her--”

“I know that.”

“So--”

“Can we just do it and have this conversation in the car?” Diggle asked. “Sara’s watching your mom. Thea and Roy are loading things into their car. I’ve already loaded the medical supplies into the car outside. Now, I just need us...and we’re set.”

“I can get her,” Oliver said. 

“That’s very...well, Oliver...of you, but you still don’t look like you’re a hundred percent,” Diggle said. He had a blanket with him and covered Felicity with it, but let the excess fall over the edge on his side. He looked to Felicity. “I’m going to pick you up and try to wrap you up to keep you warm. It’s cold out there and the last thing you need is to get sick… Getting that arm into a coat sleeve is probably going to cause more pain than me moving you.”

“Okay,” she said quietly. 

“Just don’t move. I’ve got you,” he said. He was slow and careful and Oliver had moved to help, to ensure that she was covered completely with the blanket. 

Getting her to the car was done slowly and carefully as well, with Oliver opening doors and almost obsessively checking to make sure that Diggle was still okay to carry her. Diggle seemed slightly annoyed, but Felicity knew that Oliver just wanted to help...and he most likely felt a bit guilty since she’d been shot by Thea.

“I had to tell her,” Felicity said as Oliver settled in the back of the car with her. Diggle was already in the driver’s seat. She hadn’t missed the quick look Diggle had done in the rear view mirror. 

“Thea?”

“About Merlyn…”

“Felicity…”

“She’s upset, but she had to know,” Felicity told him.

“She’s right,” Diggle said. “As much as if I’d have known before I would agree that she didn’t have to know...but she needed to know why Merlyn might try to take her… It also explains why Merlyn ran off when he realized that Thea was under that hood after she accidentally shot Felicity… He would have shot her if Thea hadn’t revealed herself.”

Felicity didn’t even realize that any of that had happened. Instead of dwelling on it, she decided that maybe lightening the mood was a better plan. “Are hoods the new fashion trend around here?” she asked. 

“Roy’s been wearing black and red and Thea has been in purple… I think they just wanted to dress up…” Diggle said. “But it’s still lucky, Oliver… Thea’s an adult. She should know...just to keep herself safe.”

“I wanted to be there for her when she found out,” Oliver said.

“Believe me, Oliver,” Diggle said. “Even if you were there, it would have still be hard for her to hear and confusing… She’s going to need you once we get there… That’s when it’s going to matter…”

“There’s also the fact that your mother is likely going to hate me more...and possibly try to kick me out on sight…” Felicity pointed out. The last time that she’d spoken Malcolm Merlyn’s name in the Queen mansion, Moira Queen hadn’t been very...appreciative...or receptive…

“We stay together from now on,” Diggle said firmly. “There are too many to keep safe.”

“We were supposed to start fixing everything,” Felicity said a bit sadly. 

Oliver pulled her close and was gentle as his arm draped around her. “There’s always another day...as long as we’re alive… We can figure out things more tomorrow… Right now, let’s concentrate on keeping everyone safe.”

“I talked to Lance,” Diggle said. “He had two officers outside of Felicity’s apartment. Merlyn killed them both, along with the security I had placed there. I explained to Lance that we didn’t know who had attacked her apartment, but that we Felicity rushed into private medical care immediately. I figured that if he needed to talk to Felicity that he could come to the house.”

“He might need to really know about Merlyn now,” Felicity told them.

“I don’t know.”

“Sara will be there… If he doesn’t believe us or--”

“That’s too risky,” Oliver said quickly. “That could expose all of us if Lance draws conclusions from seeing Sara there…”

“Do you really think he’d try to arrest you?” Felicity questioned.

“I really couldn’t say,” Oliver admitted. “Last year, he hunted the Hood. I cost him his detective shield… Laurel believed in the Hood. This year, everything’s different. He seems to believe in the Arrow and maybe it’s because I changed… Laurel wants to have me brought in. Who knows what either of them might decide tomorrow… I don’t know that I can chance it…”

“I don’t think he would,” Felicity said. “I’m not saying to reveal Sara being at the house. Just...my two cents… I’m not saying he’d be happy about things, but I think he would try to think of the bigger picture…”

“I just can’t right now…” Oliver said quietly. “I need to be here. I need to protect my family...you…”

He was staring at her and Felicity understood. As much as he might like to think that Quentin Lance would understand or at least tolerate knowing Oliver Queen is the Arrow...there was too much at stake for Oliver. 

“Let’s just hope that we don’t need to worry about shooting any more arrows tonight,” Diggle said.

“No one else should be shooting arrows in that house except me,” Oliver spoke up.

“Roy’s pretty good at it…”

“Roy’s a kid.”

“He’s always looked up to you...you know, when you have that green hood on…” Diggle said. “I don’t think it’s the worst thing… Thea’s the one who needs the boot camp when it comes to handling a bow…”

“No more arrows for Thea,” Oliver said with a sigh. What was he going to do with them all? He knew that they meant well, but a bow and arrow wasn’t the easiest weapon to wield. It took discipline, concentration, and a hell of a lot of practice. 

“Don’t be so hard on her,” Felicity told him. 

“She shot you!” 

“You shot Roy,” she reminded.

“That...was for his own good,” Oliver said.

“Do you really want Felicity and I to go over the other options you had if you had been thinking clearly at the time?” Diggle asked. 

“Not really.”

“She’s changed, Oliver...or she’s trying to… Let her at least try this… She might just need it now,” Felicity tried to reason. “Plus, would it really be so horrible to spend some real quality time with her? No running out because Digg or I are calling you?”

“She’s got a point,” Diggle spoke up.

“I hate it when you two gang up on me,” Oliver complained.

Felicity smiled. “No, you don’t like it when we’re both right.”

“There is that…”

“Might want to get used to it.”

 

. . .

 

“Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on?” 

“I hadn’t planned on it,” Oliver admitted.

“This is still my house… Whatever trouble you’re all in, you can tell me,” Moira insisted.

Felicity was fairly sure Diggle’s carrying of her had tipped off Mrs. Queen that something just wasn’t right. She’d just stayed quiet and had tried not to move much. The pain wasn’t bad, but she really didn’t need to give her body any slightly reason to start sending stabbing pain through her shoulder and around her heart.

“Not this time, Mom.”

“Oliver--”

“Mr. Diggle is going to be increasing security… Any window that has a blind or drape needs to be covered. People need to stay away from windows--”

“Oliver, what’s going on?” Moira asked and seemed a little alarmed. “Thea was acting off… She wouldn’t talk to me...she wouldn’t even look at me…”

“Malcolm Merlyn is alive, Mom,” Oliver said firmly. “He’s coming for us… He shot Felicity and I wouldn’t be surprised if he came for Thea.”

“Why--”

“She knows, Mom. Thea knows.”

“You had no right--”

“She needed to know,” Oliver said and then he was motioning for Diggle to take her past Moira. 

Felicity really hoped that Moira Queen would take the opportunity to talk to Thea. Felicity understood Moira’s reasons behind not telling Thea, but right now...Thea really needed answers and she needed to be reminded that no matter what...she was still Thea Queen. Even Felicity knew that nothing was going to change that. Thea was still Moira’s daughter and Oliver’s sister. She still carried the Queen name and was raised by Robert Queen. Even if Thea was an adult, Felicity felt like right now she probably felt like a lost little girl.

“She really does hate me,” Felicity whispered.

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Diggle told her as he carried her to the familiar hallway. He even took her into the room where she’d spent her first night back...with Olivia… It made her sad, but at the same time she knew that that little girl was happy and safe with a family that loved her. Malcolm wouldn’t try to take her again. She was safe. Diggle carefully laid her down on the bed and then immediately started to check her wound. “It looks okay right now, but you still need to take it easy…”

“No matter how much security you put up around this place--”

“I know,” Diggle said. “But I have to try…and I have to hope that he’ll decide not to try to force his way into here. I’ve had a few more exterior cameras put up outside, so hopefully we’ll know the moment that Merlyn steps onto the property.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “For taking care of me.”

“You know that you don’t have to thank me for that…” he said sweetly. “I’m just glad that I was able to keep it from injuring your heart.” 

“I don’t know what any of us would do without you,” she admitted. Diggle was more than just the person who tended to patch them all up. He was a good guy. He often balanced out things between her and Oliver… The three of them seemed to make up a whole. They all had their strengths and weaknesses, but together they could do anything. 

He was quiet for a moment. He seemed to be thinking. “Do you remember when Oliver had to climb into the back of your car after his mother shot him?”

“Vividly…”

“After you agreed to stay on, I told him...we were going to be putting you into harm’s way… He said we could protect him.” Diggle paused. “Even though sometimes I question if that was the right choice… One thing I know is that we wouldn’t have done as much good and Oliver wouldn’t be the same man...if it hadn’t been for you Felicity.”

She just stared at him. She’d never been told that. Felicity was glad that he’d told her, though. She really wouldn’t be the same person either, she realized. It wasn’t just her job at Queen Consolidated...she’d changed...and she had thought it was for the better even if things weren’t easy all of the time. Actually, they were hardly ever easy...

Diggle just smiled down at her before leaning in and kissing her cheek. “Get some rest. I’ll be back to check on you in a while...and I’ll come in and give you some pain meds when it’s time again.”

“Okay,” she whispered. 

He left her and Felicity just stared up at the ceiling. Here she was again, in this big room. She was fairly sure that her apartment might be as big as just the bedroom was. It was a little disconcerting to think about. The Queen mansion just reminded her of a Disney princess cartoon. She was sure that this was the same thing she’d see in one of those castles. And the more she thought of it, all she could think was that she really was in one of those castles. It made sense since the Queens were pretty much royalty.

There was a light knock at the door and then a faint creak as the door was opened. The light in the room was still on, and she saw Oliver’s face the moment he peeked in. “Can I come in?”

Felicity nodded. “Just as long as you don’t get me into trouble.”

“Am I banned?”

“Diggle didn’t say--”

“Then I think we’re good.”

“You sure your mother didn’t ban you from my immediate vicinity?” 

“If she did, I didn’t hear her,” he teased as he eased the door shut quietly. A bright smile on his face as he moved towards the bed. He kneeled down on the floor and rested his head on the edge of her bed with his hands folded neatly under his chin. “How are you feeling? We really shouldn’t have moved you…”

“It was necessary,” Felicity told him. “And I’m okay. Sore and a little groggy...or maybe I’m just sleepy… How’s Thea?” 

“I don’t know. Roy said that she really didn’t want to talk to anyone right now,” Oliver said. “I guess at least she’s not kicking Roy out…”

“You talk to her tomorrow,” Felicity told him sternly. “You two are lucky to have each other… She needs to know that she hasn’t lost you.”

Oliver nodded. “I’ll make sure.” He smiled. “It’s sweet that you’re so worried about Thea…”

“She’s a good kid...and she’s been through a lot,” Felicity told him. 

“You’re right.” Oliver was quiet for a moment. “We all have…”

“I’m okay… Diggle said I did fine. There’s just going to be pain and stiffness…”

“It’s not just the arrow tonight,” Oliver told her. 

Felicity patted the bed beside her. “Come here,” she whispered. 

He seemed hesitant at first, but eventually he climbed up into the bed with her. It was nice just having him close. He seemed to be trying to get comfortable and getting closer to her at the same time without causing her any more pain. 

“Do you remember the last time you saw me...before Merlyn took me?” she asked.

Oliver didn’t seem pleased with her question. “Yes,” he said quietly. Maybe it was just the memory that it was bringing back...or the fact that that was the last time he saw her for six months. 

“We were going to have a conversation…”

“Do we need to have it now?”

“I think that it’s not needed any more,” Felicity told him. “But I just--” She stopped and just stared at him for a long moment. “I just wanted you to know… When Merlyn held me… All those months, even though I thought it was so much longer… All I thought about was you… I was never mad at you… At the time, I just wanted to hear those words from you so badly…but they were well worth the wait. I thought about the life I hoped that you had led while I was gone… I hoped that you would find a way to be happy…”

“I thought of you every second of every day…”

“I know,” she whispered. 

“Merlyn’s not taking you or Thea…”

“It’s more than just the two of us you have to think about.”

Oliver sighed. “My mother is so upset...and though it would be safer for her to be down here in one of the rooms in this wing, she refuses…”

“Go talk to Thea. Right now.”

“Felicity--”

“She’ll come downstairs if you both ask her to,” Felicity told him. “I guarantee you.”

“Thea doesn’t want to see me.”

“You’re her big brother… Go see her. Maybe Roy will even earn some more points with you and back you up. Make Thea understand that no matter how upset she is with your mother that she’d be even more upset if Malcolm managed to get into her room upstairs and…you know, arrow...her.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

Felicity was slightly amused. “It’s my shoulder,” she said as she touched it lightly with her unaffected hand. “My vocal cords still work… I can yell… I could probably even get up and track someone down, though I don’t think Digg would be too happy about that.”

“Yes, please…” he pleaded. “Stick to yelling for now.”

“You guys can’t escort me everywhere,” she reminded. “Sometimes a girl needs her privacy…” He just stared at her. “Okay, okay… I won’t plan on leaving the bed without supervision… And also, Diggle’s going to come back to check on me… So go…”

“Felicity--”

“Go…”

“I just--”

“The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back here and keep me company,” Felicity told him. 

“That is true.”

“I told you, you should get used to me being right all the time.”

“I might be able to do that.”

“Start now,” she told him and motioned to the door.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	7. Oliver: Purgatory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the requested six month gap from Oliver's POV! :D Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays all! <3 If this isn't enough angst for your holiday festivities, there's always the Doctor Who Christmas special tonight where we bid our beloved 11th Doctor goodbye! :(

Her words stayed with him. 

Oliver sat in his car for a long while, just going over everything. He knew that there had always been something there between him and Felicity. He’d kept her at arms’ length for so long and had told himself that he couldn’t get close to anyone. At least not in the long term relationship kind of way. Oliver didn’t think it would be fair to the other person and deep down he didn’t think he deserved to it.

Felicity had slowly let herself into his heart though. It was almost unexpected. He saw her everyday and he’d do anything to keep her safe. It was like she’d snuck in past the walls that he’d put up without him even realizing it until the last moment. It was so different than what he’d felt for Laurel or any other relationship he’d been in in the past. He knew that Felicity was different, unlike any other woman he’d met before, but still...he loved her so differently...deeper.

When they’d ended up kissing in the lair, it had been unexpected, but not unwanted. It was like something had suddenly clicked for both of them. It was just the right time for both of them, whether either of them had known it at that moment or not. It had changed into an intimate physical relationship so quickly and just how he loved her was so different than with any other, so was their physical relationship. They were like electricity and something else. It wasn’t lust, but his absolute love for her and he had felt like he couldn’t get enough. 

He hadn’t told her that he loved her.

It was true, but saying those words were almost harder for him than committing to living together. Oliver hadn’t cared so much about those words before, he knew that, but he didn’t want to hurt Felicity and he didn’t want to hurt himself. He’d always known how she had felt. There was no question there. Oliver had thought that he’d made his feelings clear for her, even if he’d told her that he didn’t think it was a good idea for him to be with someone he could really care about. 

He’d meant her. 

Oliver had realized that he’d hurt her, after the fact, by sleeping with Isabel in Russia. It really had meant nothing to him and he just hadn’t thought about the possible consequences beforehand. But he’d been there for her. Everytime she needed to be saved, he was there. He’d left the courthouse where the jury could have come back at any minute with a verdict on his mother’s case to ensure that she was safe.

As he sat there, he just tried to think. Maybe his actions were confusing. They say that actions speak louder than words. With Felicity, though, maybe he really had been sending mixed signals.

He knew that he needed to tell her exactly how he felt and he needed to continue to show her. Pulling in a deep breath and then letting it out, Oliver started the car and had dinner ordered before he was out of the structure. He knew that Felicity would make it before him, but he was going to make their time before Diggle arrived really count. He’d even thought about texting Diggle and asking him to purposely come in late. Oliver had finally decided that he’d wait until it got closer to the time when Diggle usually arrived. 

 

. . .

 

When he arrived, he expected her to be waiting. She wasn’t. Oliver knew that it was still early and had figured that maybe she’d just needed more space. Maybe she just had needed to go home in between. He could understand that. Felicity knew that he had stopped to get dinner, so he expected her to be back at any minute. Since he had time, he set things down and started to get things together. He set the food out and laid out the flowers he’d picked up next to where Felicity normally sat. 

Oliver just wanted things to be in order by the time she got there. He really wanted to make an impression. Not only that he was serious about their talking, but that he also was serious about their relationship. Of course, he still was really learning about Felicity. There was only so much a background check and digging through personnel files could tell you about a person. 

He kept checking his watch.

Oliver had started to pace. 

Time just ticked by and Felicity just never came.

“What’s going on?”

Oliver turned and his chest hurt. He realized that he’d been holding his breath. He let it go and just stared at Diggle for a moment before looking down at his watch. He didn’t think this was like her. Felicity wouldn’t just stand him up. He knew that he’d taken some time getting to Verdant, but it hadn’t been that long...and he knew that she was upset, but Felicity was really one to talk about things. 

“Where’s Felicity?”

“She was supposed to be here before me,” he finally got out. “What if something’s wrong?” he asked and noticed that Diggle already had his phone to his ear. Oliver was sure that he was calling Felicity. “We were supposed to have dinner and talk.”

“You really screwed up,” Diggle said. “She’s not answering my calls either.”

“I should go check on her,” Oliver said. 

“Why don’t you let me do that? If she’s really that mad at you then she’s likely not going to be too happy to see you,” Diggle said. “I know that you were a playboy, but that was before the island… I’m thinking that maybe we might need to send you to some classes or something… I think you piss off women in your life more than anything else.”

Oliver really didn’t know how to respond to that. Honestly, he wanted to see her with his own eyes, but he knew that Diggle was right. Felicity would be more likely to respond to Diggle’s presence if she was that upset with him. He really hadn’t meant to upset her so much that she decided not to come to Verdant at all. He really had thought that they were going to talk…

“Okay,” he finally said quietly. 

“Why don’t you patrol? But stay in touch,” Diggle suggested. “I’ll call you once I leave Felicity’s…”

“Will you tell her that I hadn’t meant--”

“Don’t worry, Oliver,” Diggle said. “I’ll explain it to her…”

“You don’t even know why we fought--”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s on my list of possible reasons,” Diggle told him with a smirk. 

Oliver knew that he could trust Diggle and that Diggle knew them both enough to be able to smooth things over. At least Oliver hoped that he could. He was fairly sure it was possible, but sometimes Felicity could be surprising. 

 

. . .

 

Diggle had gone to Felicity’s apartment and had found no trace of her. No one had seen her and her car wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Her car hadn’t been at her apartment, which had worried them both. Where else would she go? They’d tracked the LoJack on it and had found it abandoned with her phone and her purse locked inside. The keys had been tossed nearby. They’d actually been surprised that no one had stolen the car from that position. It wasn’t in the best neighborhood. 

“Oliver--”

“Don’t lecture me, Digg!”

“You can’t just go out and look for her! You need sleep!”

“I’ll sleep when she’s found!” 

This was the argument they had until Oliver collapsed from sleep deprivation. Diggle never won. Oliver always went out and looked for her just the same. He’d stopped going into Queen Consolidated and picking up phone calls from his family. His only focus was on finding Felicity. The problem was that they had no idea who took her or where they were. The police also had come up with nothing since they had filed their missing persons report. Though Oliver hadn’t expected them to find anything if they couldn’t.

It had been two weeks… 

The moment he saw her, he knew what he was going to say. 

I love you.

That’s all he could think about.

It’s the reason why he couldn’t close his eyes. He’d dream of her and at first it would be beautiful and sweet and then all of the sudden it would be heart breaking. They’d be happy and kissing and he’d be just about to tell her those words when all of the sudden she’d be killed by one of his foes… He’d wake screaming. So, he really tried to stay awake. 

“Oliver, you’re going to kill yourself!”

“I’m going to find her, Diggle!” he screamed.

“Don’t you think that I want her back, too? Just because you’re in love with her doesn’t mean that I don’t care about her! But you can’t find her if there are absolutely no leads or clues… How are you going to find her? She’s not out there on a street! You can’t walk every inch of Starling City and The Glades and hope to come across her!”

“What if that’s it?” Oliver asked suddenly. “What if something happened to her and she doesn’t remember who she is? What if she’s lost? What if she’s hurt?”

“A hospital would have contacted us. Her picture’s everywhere, Oliver…”

“Not anymore… It’s been weeks…”

“We’re going to find her, Oliver,” Diggle told him. 

“We need to find her now...before more time passes,” Oliver insisted. “And you’re either with me on this or against me!”

“You know I want to find her--”

“But you want to give up!”

“That’s not what I’m saying!”

“You’re not out there!”

“Someone’s got to do the things that you don’t want to! I have to go into Queen Consolidated and try to do damage control! Isabel Rochev--”

“I don’t care about Isabel Rochev or Queen Consolidated!”

“That’s the problem, Oliver. There are people outside of this place,” Diggle said as he motioned around to the lair around them. “Thea? Roy? Your mother? Have you forgotten about them? I know you want to find Felicity, but life is going on around us outside of Verdant… What happens if we find Felicity tomorrow and Isabel has gotten control of the company?”

“That’s not going to happen!”

“Damn right, it’s not! It’s because I’m working my ass off making sure that Queen Consolidated keeps out of her hands! I’ve been on the phones with your mother and Walter--”

“That’s not your place!”

“Someone had to do it!”

 

. . .

 

Finally, it was all too much. No one understood. It had been hard enough for him to function coming back after spending five years away...this...this was just unbearable. This wasn’t the world he wanted to live in. He’d shut down and he knew it. He’d started to drink and had almost killed himself when he’d run his car into a tree. He honestly didn’t even know if it was intentional or because he was so drunk that he could barely walk...or both. He didn’t want to live, but he didn’t feel like killing himself was much of a choice...Felicity could still be out there. His mother had begged him to get help. Walter had even come to the house and pleaded with him. Thea and Roy had tried some kind of weird intervention. Oliver was fairly sure that Diggle had given up on him.

None of it mattered.

All he wanted was Felicity. 

No one knew anything.

It was like she’d just disappeared and he knew that that was impossible. No one just disappeared. He’d even reached out to his other contacts, but no one knew anything. It was like it was useless… Whoever had taken Felicity, wherever she was, that person had won… 

“You look like crap.”

Oliver turned around. The one person who could sneak up on him. Sara Lance. She was smiling at him and looked like she’d just dropped by, no black leather and mask. It was a bit unusual. It was even more unusual that she was at the house, if his mother saw her… 

“So I’ve been told.”

“I heard the tree won.”

“I heard that too.”

The only reason that he wasn’t in jail was because of his family. He was fairly sure that his mother had paid someone off. He knew that there’d been talk of him going to rehab, but Oliver didn’t think that was going to work. He didn’t need rehab, he needed to world to start making sense again. 

“Digg said that you broke a bunch of ribs and dislocated your shoulder--”

“Cuts and bruises… No big deal,” Oliver told her as he sipped the drink in his hand. “I got away lucky… No wonder that car had such a high safety rating…” He wasn’t surprised that Diggle had been the one to contact her, after all, who else could it have been? He was surprised that she was there, though, because really what could she do? She was dead to the world and if no one else could convince him to do anything else, then how was she?

“You can’t stay here, Oliver.”

“They want to send me away,” Oliver admitted. “Rehab.”

“The kind of rehab I’m thinking is going to be a lot more therapeutic than the actual rehab resort that your mother is thinking of,” Sara told him. “I know that you’re hurting, Oliver--”

“No one understands how much--”

“Or why,” Sara countered. “Because you’re not letting anyone in.”

Oliver looked down at his glass and then set it down. He knew she was right. “The last person that I really let in… We got too close--”

“Felicity--”

“Felicity,” he confirmed. 

It was so hard for him to think about her. It felt like he was breaking into thousands of pieces...that he just couldn’t hold himself together… It was bad enough that he’d struggling with coping with living in Starling City again after the island and everything that had happened. To get so close and have that taken away from you suddenly, unexpectedly, and without a trace...it really was truly devastating to him… 

“I--I--”

“Love her,” Sara finished.

Oliver just stared at her. How did those words come so easily to her? They were paralyzing to him… He’d said them before the island, with Laurel, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t this deep, deep, uncontrollable, and almost contagious feeling of love for her. Felicity had been so different. They’d gotten so close quickly, though he knew that they’d been close friends before that. Besides Diggle, she was the only one that knew his secret. Well, that he’d told. Sara had known who he was when she revealed herself to him. Felicity was just--and the alcohol really didn’t make it any easier he realized. He wasn’t coping, he was trying to numb the pain...he was self destructive and he was explosively angry at the world for her just disappearing.

“Yes,” he finally said.

“Digg said that you guys have looked everywhere. You’ve had your contacts look for her,” Sara said. “The police haven’t found anything either.” She was quiet for a moment. “Ollie, I’ve looked into it, too. I figured that maybe a fresh perspective could help. I found nothing. No one out there seems to know anything… So, you have to make a choice.” He voice was quiet at the end. “You have to either resign to continue this destructive behavior and kill yourself, which really isn’t something that anyone wants. You could pick yourself up and try to be the man that she’d be proud of--”

“Please tell me there’s an OR in there,” he practically begged.

Maybe it was because Sara hadn’t been a constant in his life since Felicity had gone missing, but she was making so much sense to him right now. Maybe it was that he just needed a wake up call… He didn’t know… All he knew was that her options thus far really weren’t options. He couldn’t kill himself and leave his family in the wake of that… He also had no idea how he could possibly do the latter… Oliver couldn’t even bring himself into driving anywhere near QC. He knew that if he went back in as CEO that Felicity wouldn’t be there as his assistant and he’d have to walk by her desk everyday. He couldn’t do that. 

“OR,” Sara said with emphasis. “You disappear too. We go back to the island. As much as it’s not my favorite idea, I think maybe that’s the kind of rehab you need. We take what we absolutely need. You get sober or clean or whatever… Maybe get some focus… Then once you feel like you’re...centered or good or where you need to be...then we figure out where to go from there.”

“Maybe--”

“Digg really wants us to take a satellite phone if we’re doing that...and he thinks that we need to go for a specific amount of time and then head back...or head closer… But either way, this needs to be for you, Oliver,” Sara insisted. “You’re the only one who can get you straight.”

“But you’ll be there?” he asked. 

Oliver really wasn’t sure how smart that was. He and Sara had history and he was about to freefall from alcohol. He was upset and semi-grieving… He didn’t want to have regrets if he tried to find comfort in her arms. He told himself that that wouldn’t happen, but at the same time...he knew his old self… The temptation would be there…

“And I’ll break your arm if you do anything stupid,” Sara warned. “And unlike Digg, I don’t have field medical training…”

Oliver smirked. “Thanks for the warning.”

“I grew up with you, Ollie. I know your old tricks… Neither old nor new are going to work on me,” Sara told him straightforward. “So? What do you say? Should I start making the plans to go?”

“I can’t live here,” Oliver said. “Not now…” He was quiet. “Let’s go to the island… Get the sat phone from Digg… I’ll talk to my mother and Thea… I’ll tell them that I’m going to some remote rehab in Tibet or somewhere where they won’t be able to reach me…”

Sara nodded. “It’s going to be for the best, Ollie.”

“I know,” he said quietly and then turned to look back out the window. “But that doesn’t make it any easier…”

 

. . .

 

“Ollie, are you sure you have to go so far away?” Thea asked. She’d been crying since breakfast. 

Amazingly enough, ever since he’d made the decision to leave for the island with Sara...life had been a little easier. Maybe it was because a weight had been lifted off of him...or maybe it was merely because he knew that life was about to get a lot easier for him. He’d packed a single bag and he’d gone down to breakfast like it was any other day.

“It’s the best rehab in the whole world, Thea,” he reminded. He was fairly sure that she’d asked him that about twenty times since breakfast. But now here they were, time for him to leave. Diggle was ready with his bag at the door. “I think I need that...and I think I need the distance…”

“But you promise you’ll be back in a few months?” 

“I promise, Speedy… But it might just be for a visit,” he reminded. He couldn’t make a promise that that would be hard to keep. He had no idea if four months on the island would be enough. For all he knew, he would never be able to function in the real world… 

“I’d tell you to send me a postcard, but I know how good you are at that,” she told him and they both laughed. When he’d gone to the island last time after Tommy’s death, but he’d told Thea he was in Europe...he’d promised to send postcards or to text and he hadn’t done it. 

Oliver pulled her in and hugged her tight. He knew that he really should be there for Thea. His little sister had had to go through too much in the last several years and he hated to add any more to that, but he needed to do what was best for him right now. He kissed her forehead and then turned to Roy who had been sort of standing back. He held out a hand to him and then shook Roy’s when he finally held it out.

“I expect you to watch out for her while I’m gone,” Oliver told him. 

“Of course,” Roy responded and he almost seemed surprised.

His mother was a picture of composure. Oliver hugged her and he realized that she was the one that he’d worry about even more. Walter had come in here and there to try to pretty much do what his father would have done, but he still wasn’t there at the house. Oliver wished that his mother had Walter back and that support while he was gone. He understood Walter’s reasons behind the divorce, but that didn’t make it easier for Oliver to leave his mother behind. He knew though that Diggle would remain there to keep an eye on everything, but that was as security… Oliver was thinking about if his mother would need any comfort or reassurance in private if his mother finally broke down. She was Moira Queen, though, they went on… His mother had taught them to all be strong and that’s how they’d be even in his absence.

“I’ll miss you,” Moira whispered.

“I’ll miss you too,” Oliver told her. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you.”

The one person that he’d had so much practice saying those words too. They came easily, but they almost burned. He kept telling himself that if he’d said them to Felicity earlier then she’d still be there with him… Those three words… They could have changed the last two months of his life in such a drastic way… 

“Don’t get lost in this rehab,” she told him.

“I’m hoping to find myself,” Oliver told her and was trying to sound confident as he pulled back from her. He gave her a smile and then headed for the door where Diggle was waiting for him. He’d be meeting up with Sara soon and saying goodbye to Diggle. It was the first time in a long time where he was actually looking forward to something. Oliver just really needed to get away.

 

. . .

 

“It’s not how I remember it,” Sara told him.

“It’s exactly how I remember it,” Oliver breathed as he took it all in. 

“I’m still not looking forward to this…”

“Thank you,” he said as he turned to look at her. “For doing this for me…”

“Our pasts might not be perfect, Oliver, but you’ll always be my friend,” Sara told him. 

He knew that the island had to bring not only memories for her as well, but also ghosts. It was probably part of why the island was so therapeutic. There was so much from the past to face. He’d lost almost everyone and everything that had made him the man he was on that island. Almost. He’d learned so much on that island...he just hoped that it could bring him some peace now… 

Sara smiled at him. “You do know that Lian Yu isn’t like a treehouse that you can hide out in every time life goes wrong…”

“I hadn’t exactly thought of it as a treehouse…”

“I’m just saying--”

“I guess it’s where I felt I actually was in purgatory...and I’ve felt like I’ve deserved that again,” Oliver told her honestly. 

“No one deserves it, Ollie.”

“I need it though,” he insisted. “It changes me… I always hope for the better.”

“You know, I don’t think Felicity would want you to feel like you needed to punish yourself for what’s happened…”

“I know,” Oliver said. “But I feel like I need to…”

“Are you ever going to really tell anyone what happened? Why you feel that way? Digg said that you two fought--”

“I screwed up,” Oliver told her. “Classic me. Whenever I have something good and it’s getting serious, I screw up.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“It was...and I don’t know if I can move past it…”

“You know, if you want to talk… I’ll listen, even if that’s all you want...is for someone to listen. Sometimes talking about it can help...and you and I rarely have someone we can completely confide in.”

 

. . .

 

Four months seemed to go by far too fast for Oliver and he found himself arguing with Sara to even leave. He knew, however, that Sara seemed to be keen to leave the island. Though, he couldn’t blame her for that, he really couldn’t have been the best company for four months. Was he better? He thought so. Was he ready to go home and stay there? To take back his place at Queen Consolidated? To be the Arrow? No. He still had no idea if he could be that ready to live like that. He was looking forward to seeing his mother and Thea though. 

"What’s that sound?” he said as they looked around. They were getting close to the point where they’d be getting on the last plane in their journey. They had a layover though and wouldn’t be leaving until sometime the next morning. 

“Digg,” Sara said as she pulled out the satellite phone. 

Oliver had completely forgotten about it. Sara would check it everyday, but he never cared about it. Diggle hadn’t called before. He was sure that he knew that they would be coming back home, so he didn’t know why he was calling now. 

“Do you want to take it?” she asked.

He held up a hand. “No...I can’t...not yet…” He just wasn’t ready to be home yet. He wasn’t ready for the reminders of Felicity and Diggle did remind him of Felicity.

“Okay,” she said with a small smile and put the phone to her ear. “Digg,” she greeted as she headed in the opposite direction of where Oliver was standing. “Yeah...yeah...we’re waiting… Our plane doesn’t leave until tomorrow…” 

Oliver listened, but he really didn’t care to hear the call. He figured that Digg was just checking in and trying to make sure that everything was still on schedule for their arrival in Starling City. But when Sara looked over at him, there was a look on her face, and he suddenly found himself more interested in the call. Had something happened? Was Thea okay? His mother?

“No, I agree… I’ll do what I can to get us there tonight… Right, no worries… We’ll get there.” She was quiet again. “Right, well I’m pretty good at sneaking in… We’ll be quiet…”

He approached her and she was done with the call. “What did Diggle say?”

“He wanted to see if we could get an earlier flight,” she told him.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.”

They knew each other well enough for him to know when she wasn’t completely telling him everything, or at least he liked to think so. “What is it? Thea? My mom--”

“No, they’re okay… They’re just anxious… Digg was hoping that we could sneak in tonight and you could be there in the morning for breakfast...as a surprise.”

Oliver wasn’t sure if that was everything, but it seemed believable enough. Diggle had been working security at the Queen mansion and for his family in his absence. Oliver was sure that he was getting bored of it. “I thought there wasn’t an earlier flight?”

“I’m going to go check… Flights change all the time. Is that okay?”

He really wasn’t ready to face everyone until tomorrow, but if he really wouldn’t be until the morning then he figured that he could deal with it. “Sure.”

 

. . .

 

Sara had seemed far too excited to be back in Starling City. He didn’t understand why. Oliver and Sara went around the outside of the house. She’d said that Diggle had instructed that they go into a certain wing of the house. It was one of the areas where his mother rarely went, so it made sense. They walked in and the doors clattered behind them. He was about to turn to try to muffle the sound a bit when she caught his eye. Oliver suddenly couldn’t move or breathe.

He’d only been back in Starling City for thirty minutes and he was already hallucinating.

At the end of the hallway stood Diggle...and Felicity. 

No, Felicity was gone.

Oliver was so upset with himself. He knew that he shouldn’t have made the promise to come back. He knew that his mother and Thea would expect him to be able to stay and there was no way that he was going to be able to. Too much reminded him of Felicity…

“Oliver,” he heard her quiet voice. 

It wasn’t her.

It wasn’t possible.

She’s just vanished…

He blinked and hoped to snap out of it. 

Felicity still stood there, wiping tears away from her face.

Sara walked forward and Oliver expected her to greet Diggle. He didn’t know how, but Diggle and Sara seemed good friends. Maybe it was because they were both soldiers...and they’d just clicked in some way...or there was mutual respect...or all of the above… But she didn’t. She embraced Felicity.

“I’m so glad that you’re okay,” Sara told her.

“Uh--thanks…” Felicity said as she patted Sara’s back.

None of it was making sense to him. Either he’d completely lost it or Felicity was there. But if Felicity had been found...if Diggle had brought her home...then why hadn’t Sara told him? Oliver’s mind raced. He didn’t know what to think or believe. 

“Really, you have no idea,” Sara said.

Oliver couldn’t stand to watch the exchange a moment longer. As much as he wanted to be okay. As much as he wanted to believe that that was really Felicity in the hallway. As much as he wanted to think things were going to all be okay. He wasn’t. Oliver dashed away while the three of them were distracted. He sprinted down the hall and found himself a bathroom to empty the small amount that was in his stomach. 

She was alive…

After all of this time…

He felt sick.

Had he given up too soon?

He wanted to know everything, but he just couldn’t face them yet. Oliver kept telling himself that if Sara had told him--but then he knew better, he wouldn’t have believed her. He would have stayed on the island… 

“Oliver! Oliver?” 

“In here,” he called as he got up. He flushed the toilet and then started to rinse his mouth at the sink. Oliver stopped and stared at himself in the mirror. Once he knew that his face was clean, he splashed some cold water on it before finally turning off the water. Diggle appeared behind him in the mirror a moment later.

“You ran off…”

“It’s really her,” Oliver said quietly.

“Sara didn’t think that you’d believe her if she told you. You had to come home, Oliver,” Diggle said. “But yeah… It’s really Felicity… I didn’t find her. She found us. She’s been through a lot too… She hasn’t even opened up about everything that went on. She thought that it had been three years…”

Oliver sucked in breath. “Three years?”

“Whoever had her, they warped her sense of time… Sounds like they had her drugged…” Diggle said. “That’s not all… They made her think that she has a child… Luckily, Officer Lance agreed to let her keep the little girl until they can figure out where her family is...if they’re still alive. I’m not sure if she’d be okay if they took that little girl away from her.” He sighed. “As much as your world fell apart six months ago...hers is now… She needs you, Oliver.”

“I don’t even know if I can--”

“It’s Felicity,” Diggle told him. “You’re going to be fine.”

“And if not, Sara will probably break my arm,” he said quietly to himself and smiled. He turned to Diggle. “What about my mom? Thea?”

“They can wait…”

“Do they know that I’m here?” Oliver questioned.

“They knew that you would be coming. I told them that it was a possibility that I might be able to get you home a little sooner...but I’m not going to wake anyone up right now,” Diggle informed him.

“Good.”

“Now, let’s get you back to see her,” Diggle said as he held out his arm.

Oliver nodded slowly and then took a step towards Diggle. The two of them headed back to the hallway. Diggle guided him to the room that Felicity was staying in and he knocked.

No matter what happened…

She was home.

Oliver knew that he could never fix six months ago...but he could be smarter now.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	8. Home Invasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had meant to be totally productive this last week. That didn't happen. Instead, my ex went all crazy and I was in super stressed and not sleeping mode and my little one ended up possibly developing allergies. Wasn't exactly how I wanted to spend my holiday...and I had so wanted to work on this! So, hopefully this is worth the wait!

She kept waking up, but she’d stay still. Oliver was there besides her in the bed and she worried that if she moved around too much that she’d wake him. Felicity turned her head and sighed when she saw the time. It was time for her to have more pain medication and she could feel it. The pain had been dull before, which kept waking her, but now it was a sharp shooting pain. Felicity knew that without the pain killers that she wasn’t going back to bed. That was okay, though, because she was pretty content with watching Oliver sleep as long as she didn’t put too much pressure or jolt that side of her body.

“You okay?”

His voice was quiet, but unexpected and caused her to jump. Felicity had thought that he was sleeping. “I’m okay,” she lied. “I just--”

“What time is it?” Before she could respond, he was sitting up in bed to glance over to the clock. “It’s time for your pill… Are you in pain? Is that why you’re up?”

His voice was all full of concern and Felicity couldn’t lie to him. She really wasn’t very good at that. “Yes, before it wasn’t so bad, but now it’s like someone is stabbing me,” she explained. Felicity knew that Oliver was going to worry, though that would end once the pain killers kicked in...or so she hoped.

Oliver was out of bed before Felicity could even manage to move much. The thing was, Diggle had the pills, which meant that Oliver would have to go and wake him. Felicity really wasn’t sure that she wanted anyone else woken. He was gone, though, before she could even protest. So, she waited. She vaguely heard Oliver and Diggle in the hallway before the door opened and Oliver had returned. 

“You didn’t need to wake him,” she said quietly.

“He was already awake,” Oliver told her as he handed her the pills and then handed her the bottle of water from the nightstand. “You need sleep...and you’re not going to be able to sleep if you’re in pain.”

And she knew he was right.

“I’m pretty sure everyone in the house is up,” Oliver told her. 

“You never told me how everything went last night,” Felicity spoke up. “I fell asleep and then you were just here in bed with me…”

“I hope that was--”

“It was fine,” she said quickly. “More than fine.” Felicity struggled to sit up and though Oliver looked like he was going to move to stop her, he took a step and then stopped. 

“Thea managed to go upstairs with me and we managed to convince my mother that it was in her interests and ours as well if she remained safe and alive, which meant downstairs… She’s already up and moving,” Oliver told her. 

She managed after a minute or two. It didn’t mean that it hurt any less, but she was ready to be sitting up. As much as she knew that she probably needed the sleep, she didn’t want it. She felt like she’d missed too much in the last three ye--six months. It was still hard for her to cope with the fact that Merlyn had obviously done something to her to warp her sense of time in those six months… She doubted that getting shot with an arrow or living under the constant threat of Merlyn coming and possibly taking her away again was helping any…

“You know,” he said quietly as he stood there. “You don’t have to be so strong.”

Felicity felt like laughing. This wasn’t her being strong. She was just shot and sick of missing out on everything. She also knew that she couldn’t stand staying in bed and just wallowing in everything that was taken from her. Felicity would not let what Merlyn did destroy her...and she knew that if she allowed for it to even creep any further inside of her that it wouldn’t only destroy her, but Oliver as well. 

“I’m not strong, Oliver,” she whispered as she watched him.

“You’ve always been strong, Felicity,” he said as he just stared at her. His tone was serious, yet gentle and unwavering. “How do you think that I managed to go on? Before Merlyn even took you? While you were gone? ...okay, I was a mess, but I could have done a lot of stupid things--”

“I thought you ran your car into a tree?”

Oliver smiled at her. “I did… The tree won, if they didn’t tell you,” he joked. The look on her face was serious though. “That’s not the point… I could have ended things...with thought… In Starling City or even on the island… I kept thinking ‘What happens if Felicity shows up the next day?’. That’s the only reason I made it through…”

“I knew that you didn’t know Merlyn was alive, but I always thought that you might show up one day,” she whispered. 

“I guess we both had faith we’d see each other again,” he whispered.

And it was true.

Felicity didn’t know why, but Oliver was the one person that she knew that she could count on and trust the most, even if he’d lied to her in the past and even though some of his actions had been questionable. She knew that it should be Diggle, but it wasn’t. Maybe it was because of her feelings for Oliver. The connection they’d always had was undeniable and it only strengthened her faith in him. 

 

. . .

 

“You know, you should really take it easy,” Oliver said.

“I just… I want to pretend that things are okay,” Felicity admitted.

“I’m pretty sure half of our arsenal is out in the hallway--”

“I thought we were having dinner?” 

Felicity was fairly sure that he’d told her about fifteen minutes before that they were all going to sit down together and have dinner. She really wasn’t sure how awkward or not it would be, but she was hungry. Felicity was was even dressed in clothes, jeans, and a blouse, not just pajamas.

A knock came and her door was opened before either could respond. Thea’s head popped in. “Ollie, Mom might have stumbled onto our operations out here. Digg looks like he’s got it, but he might appreciate the back-up.”

“We can’t exactly tell her that you’re the Arrow and we’re your merry band.”

Felicity reached up with her good hand and patted his shoulder. “You have fun with that,” she told him before leaving with Thea. She really didn’t want to be around and somehow be blamed for what Diggle and now Oliver would be attempting to explain to Moira Queen. She stuck close to Thea as they headed out and past the dreaded matriarch of the Queen family. Felicity kept her eyes on the floor until they were past her. She just didn’t need another altercation. Her arm was already in a sling. She didn’t need anything else that Moira Queen could add to her list of offenses.

“I know that you’re probably not my mom’s biggest fan,” Thea said quietly as they walked. “Sometimes I’m not either, but she means well...most of the time.”

“I know that she’s only worried about you and Oliver,” Felicity replied. Though Moira Queen hadn’t always made the best choices in her life, well at least in hindsight, she’d made them with the best intentions. She’d intended on keeping her family safe. “She doesn’t know me… It’s not surprising that she doesn’t trust me.”

“If we told her about--”

“No,” Felicity said quickly. “I don’t think we’re quite ready to do that.”

“What do you think Diggle and Ollie are telling her?”

“Everything, but the truth.”

“How can you be so sure?” Thea questioned as they entered the dining room. Roy was already there and looked confused, most likely because no one else was there yet. 

“I know my guys,” Felicity simply told her.

 

. . .

 

“What did you end up telling your mom?”

“That Roy is really into reenactments,” Oliver filled her in. Felicity just stared at him. “Don’t worry, the first thing Diggle did was to inform Roy...that way my mom won’t catch him off guard. Roy says he’ll just tell her that he and his friends like to run around and play Robin Hood if she asks…”

“Isn’t that a little close to home?”

“I am not Robin Hood.”

Felicity smiled. “I know, but--”

“It’s the green and the bow?”

She nodded.

“Roy will just have to express his new found hatred for the color green.”

Felicity laughed and turned to look at Oliver. She’d been pulling out pajamas with one hand from the drawers in the room. Sara had loaned her some things, since she’d been shot...taken to the Foundry to be patched up...and then they’d gone to the Queen Mansion. She just hoped that in the morning they could go and let her get her things from her apartment. Better yet, hopefully Merlyn would get himself killed so she could just go home.

“You know, I could help you,” he offered as he motioned to the pajamas.

Felicity just smiled. The night before she’d just slept in the clothes they’d brought her in. Luckily, they’d been comfy enough. “Put them on or take them off?” she teased.

“I could just help by dropping them on the floor now,” he played along. He walked towards her and reached out to brush her cheek.

At first, she was okay. She knew that she was safe with Oliver. His touch was magic and she knew that she was safe with him. Oliver’s hand dropped to her shoulder and ran down her arm. Suddenly, she was pulling away from him. Felicity felt horrible, but it was almost unconscious. She’d suddenly been reminded of Merlyn and she just couldn’t have Oliver touching her. 

“I--” she started.

“No, I’m sorry,” he interrupted quickly.

“Oliver--”

“I shouldn’t push or make you feel uncomfortable,” Oliver told her. “I wasn’t thinking…”

“I hadn’t meant to pull away,” Felicity explained quickly. “It was an automatic response and sometimes I don’t even know why.”

“Merlyn--”

“Well, yes, but it’s not something that I’m conscious of…” she continued. “He did things that I never thought would be done to me… He’s inflicted pain and tortured me, but I survived… I thought because I escaped all of that and came here, that I was free...but I’m not. I might never be. Everything of what he did, it’s still on me...like a tattoo. I can’t just wipe it away. It’s a choice I made and I have to figure out how to truly come to terms with those six months.”

Six months.

She’d known for days that it had been that short amount of time, but it was still so hard to accept. How could someone stretch out her suffering for so long that it had felt like so much longer? Felicity just didn’t know. She knew that Malcolm Merlyn was a madman, but he was more than that...he was manipulative, controlling, and just plain evil. Felicity was holding it together, as long as she didn’t stop and dwell on it for too long, and for as long as Oliver was there. She could go through anything if he was by her side. She’d known that for a long time.

“Felicity--”

“I’m not expecting you to fix it, Oliver,” she told him and gave him a small smile. She was trying to reassure him. Felicity didn’t want him to see her as broken, but she wasn’t perfect. “But I hope,” she said and then went quiet for a long moment as her eyes flit down towards the ground for a long moment. When she looked back up, she tried to form her words and think them over for a moment before actually speaking them. “I hope...that you will be patient with me.”

“I will always be here, Felicity,” Oliver told her as he reached out to take her hand. He held it in his and his eyes stared right into hers. She knew in that moment that he wasn’t going anywhere. It brought her a bit of relief. 

Felicity wrapped her arms around him and he held her. It felt different. She didn’t know exactly why. Maybe it was because he seemed ready to let go at a moment’s notice or he could hold on until tomorrow. The one thing she knew was that he didn’t pity her. He loved her. She loved him. 

“So will I,” she whispered back. 

 

. . .

 

“Oliver!”

The sound woke every single person in that house up at who knew what time it was. Felicity felt his arms a little too strong around her. He pulled her upright with him and was putting too much pressure on her bad shoulder. She bit her lip in order to keep in the scream that wanted to escape. They didn’t know what was going on, but Oliver was obviously already on high alert about it.

“Oliver…” she whispered as he pulled them to their feet.

She watched him, his eyes on the door the whole time. He backed them up and when he finally turned around, he was putting her in the closet. “I need you to stay here,” Oliver told her, his hands still on her. “You don’t move from here until I come back for you, do you understand?”

Felicity nodded quickly. “What about Thea? Your mother?” she asked. 

“I’m going to go check on them,” he told her. “But I need you to be safe.” 

She could see it in his eyes, he didn’t want to leave her. So, Felicity tried to make it easy for him. She shrunk to the back corner of the closet and eased herself down to the floor. She tried, as comfortably as possible, to make herself as small as possible. “Go,” she whispered.

“Felicity--”

“I love you.”

He smiled, it was almost a sad smile. “I love you,” he told her before closing the closet door and leaving her there in the dark. 

From the closet she could hear yelling and what sounded like all hell breaking loose outside of the room. How she wished she knew what was going on...and that she could help. She knew that she would only be in the way and that Oliver likely didn’t need the distraction. So, she stayed there and tried to stay quiet. Tears silently fell from her eyes and she tried to keep her terror inside. She didn’t know how long it all went on, but all of the sudden she realized something.

It was silent.

Oliver had told her to stay put until he came to get her. So, she stayed. She waited. Felicity tensed when she heard the door to the room open. She could hear it so clearly. Footfalls echoed and she held her breath. The sound of a hand on the door knob brought on a near panic attack as she had no idea who was on the other side of the closet door. The door opened and she still held her breath. The tears fell in new fervor. The sobs that she’d been keeping silent filled the small space. Arms reached in and pulled her to her feet. She didn’t fight, but moved as he wanted and let the seemingly unending wave of emotions hit her all at once. 

“You’re safe.”

Those words… She wondered if he knew exactly how precious they were for her to hear from him. If she knew how long she’d wanted to hear that from him when Merlyn had her. 

His arms wrapped around her and she clung to him. She didn’t even care about the arm that was supposed to remain in the sling, she’d pulled it out to wrap around him and didn’t care about the pain. 

“I thought--”

“Shh… He’s gone,” he told her and kissed the top of her head as he held her. One hand was on her back and the other was in her hair. 

Malcolm Merlyn.

He was coming for them.

Felicity didn’t know how they were going to defeat him. They’d thought that he was dead and gone, but obviously he wasn’t so easily killed. She was terrified that even if they managed to kill Merlyn, and this was one bad guy where she knew that the only kind of justice that needed to be dealt out needed to be death. They couldn’t risk handing him over to the police. More lives could be lost. It wasn’t just the body count on Felicity’s mind, but also the terror that he could hold over all of them. There was no other way. Not this time.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered as he swayed with her a bit.

“Too late,” she breathed shakily. She pressed her face into his chest and hated feeling so vulnerable. She couldn’t help it though, all that had gone through her mind was that Merlyn was going to be the one to open that door. Merlyn had come so close to killing Oliver in the past. Felicity didn’t know how they would win this. She just knew that they had to.

“Everyone’s okay.”

“Oliver.”

She could feel him turn, but she kept her face buried into his chest. The voice, though, she knew belonged to Sara. Felicity finally peeled herself away from him just enough to suck in air before turning to look at Sara. The other woman was dressed in black, mask in place and everything. Felicity figured that it was to keep her identity safe from Moira. 

“I lost him,” Sara said a moment later.

“Let him go,” Oliver said. “For now.”

“This can’t go on.”

“I know.”

They were both silent for a long moment and then Diggle was behind them. He looked exhausted and worn. He approached them and sighed. “You’re going to hurt yourself more,” he scolded.

Felicity just stared at him and held onto Oliver. “I’m fine,” she whispered.

Oliver looked down at her and she could see that he was worried about her. “I yanked you from bed pretty quickly,” he said. He held her back at arms’ length. Felicity didn’t like that. She wanted to be close to him. He looked at her and then he pulled his hands away from her upper arms. He gasped.

“The bruises aren’t what I’m worried about,” Diggle said and came between them. He gently took the arm that was supposed to be in the sling and tried as best as he could to navigate it back into position without causing her too much pain. Felicity cringed and then finally let out a yelp. He stared at her. “You know we weren’t going to let him get past us…”

Felicity just stared back at him. She wanted to whisper that she knew. She didn’t. Malcolm Merlyn was dangerous and highly motivated. He didn’t stop when he wanted something. He was going to come back and he would hit harder. He would come after them to get to her and Thea. 

“I’m the reason--” she started.

“We’re already trying to figure out where to put you, Thea, and Moira,” Sara spoke up.

“The Foundry--”

“We’d have to reveal everything,” Diggle said quietly.

“We might not have a choice,” Oliver spoke up.

“That would put all of those people at Verdant in danger.”

“I know,” Oliver breathed. “I didn’t say that it was the only choice we had…”

“You could use us as bait,” Felicity said and she caught the look in Oliver’s eyes. He was probably thinking that that was the worst plan he’d heard in his life. But the fact was, Merlyn would keep coming and she and Thea were the ones that he really wanted. He was angry with Moira, but he would happily leave with her and Thea.

“No--”

“He wouldn’t get to us,” Felicity said quickly. “I trust you--”

“She has a good point,” Sara spoke up. “We could choose the location and set everything up.”

“He’d know it was a trap,” Oliver pointed out.

“But that probably wouldn’t stop him from coming anyways,” Diggle added. “He’s arrogant. He--”

“He wants us…” 

They all turned now. Thea was standing there at the doorway. Roy was behind her and Felicity suddenly wondered where Moira was or if they were waiting to pull her out of a closet until the hallway was cleaned up. 

“We won’t let him take you,” Roy said firmly.

“But she’s right,” Thea said. “If he’s going to keep coming for us… We need to stop it. We can’t live like this… Diggle told us about what happened to Ollie in the past when he’s gone up against Merlyn… This really does have to be a team effort.”

“Team effort doesn’t mean that you and Felicity get put in the middle of it,” Oliver pointed out.

“But we knew the danger when we signed on,” Felicity reminded him. He looked down at her and she knew that he was terrified. She was too. She was fairly sure that they all were. “We want to help,” she told him. “I may not be able to fire an arrow...and obviously this problem doesn’t require my computer skills...but I can help to lure him out.”

“I won’t risk you two!”

“You don’t have a choice,” she whispered. 

Thea walked into the room and closed the distance between them. She put her hand on Oliver’s arm and just smiled at him. “Ollie, you have to let us do this.”

“Speedy,” he was practically pleading.

“You’re not going to lose us,” Felicity told him. 

“Digg is always talking about how we’re stronger together,” Thea told him. “Let us prove that now.”

“It’s not that easy,” Oliver insisted. 

Felicity could see the tears in his eyes. He was terrified of the future. Felicity didn’t blame him, but she really didn’t see another way. This was it. It needed to end. 

“What the hell happened? Is everyone okay? Oliver? Thea? Who--who are you?” Moira Queen’s voice filled the room with a varying degree of emotion. She was upset and confused, but it seemed like she was okay. 

“Take care of your mother,” Felicity whispered to Oliver. She could see that he really didn’t want to leave her, but he needed to. He still had a responsibility to his family. She couldn’t come first, especially not on this. He was going to argue, but she just stared at him. “I’m okay.”

He pulled her in a hug for a moment before letting her go. He pulled Thea into a one arm hug as he guided them towards where his mother was at the door. Felicity just watched them go. Diggle and Sara stayed behind with her. She waited for a moment before turning to them. “How bad was it? Really?”

“It’s just a good thing we brought the weapons with us,” Diggle told him. “And that we have Sara.”

“Merlyn’s even more dangerous than he was before,” Sara told them. “We can’t underestimate him.” She looked directly at Felicity. “And you need to understand that Merlyn might just kill you...decide that you aren’t worth it.”

Felicity just stared back at Sara. “I know,” she replied all too calmly. The thing was, Felicity knew what Malcolm Merlyn was capable of. She also knew that he didn’t value her enough to let her live with all the trouble she’d caused him. She’d tried to stab him and had escaped, she doubted that he’d want to ‘retrain’ her and go through all that trouble again. 

“I really don’t like the idea of putting them into the line of fire,” Diggle spoke up.

“Neither do I--”

“We’re already in the line of fire,” Felicity reminded. “And we both volunteered…”

“That doesn’t make me like it any more,” Diggle told her.

The three of them were silent for a long time and Diggle just stared at her. She couldn’t figure out if he was upset with the fact that she was more than willing happy to be bait or the fact that there really didn’t seem to be any other good choice. Finally, Felicity broke the silence. Her shoulder was killing her. She probably shouldn’t have pulled it from the sling and clung to Oliver like she had, but she’d needed it. So, really...she didn’t regret it. “I think I need another pain pill.”

 

. . .

 

“Roy isn’t talking to me.”

“I’m pretty sure that Oliver isn’t talking to me either.”

“They really don’t hate us.”

“They love us, but that doesn’t make any of this easier… We’re all in danger. Nothing else has helped,” Felicity said matter of factly. “We have to try this another way… And if we’re prepared…”

“This time, I won’t have a bow...so I shouldn’t shoot you by accident...again…” Thea said slowly.

Felicity smiled at her. This was really the first time that she and Thea had ever had alone. Just the two of them talking about life and Oliver. Yes, this was life and death, but sometimes you just needed quiet. They needed to be apart to just think. “You’ll learn… You’ll be as good as Oliver,” Felicity said with confidence.

“I’m pretty sure Ollie banned me from picking up a bow,” Thea said with a bit of a smile. “But I think it just scares the crap out of him that Roy and I were out there trying to do what he had been doing… I might not be the best at that bow, but we were doing good… I thought so at least.”

“It was only a few months,” Felicity said. “Sometimes I think that Oliver is even still figuring it out…”

“Figuring what out?”

They both turned and Felicity smiled at him. “Being the Arrow…”

“We have a mission...or at least we did,” Oliver said.

“But it’s changed over time,” Felicity pointed out.

Oliver nodded as he moved to join them on the couch. It seemed like everyone had pretty much separated for the time being just to process. He sat next to Thea and put his arm behind her. “You know… We haven’t talked about how you feel about this, Speedy…”

“Maybe I should go,” Felicity said, suddenly feeling like this was more of a ‘family discussion’.

But Thea put her hand out. “No. Stay.” She looked directly at Felicity. “It’s okay, I’d rather you be here…”

So, Felicity stayed and looked towards Oliver. He looked calm, which was good and so far they both sounded calm and collected. 

“You know now that Malcolm Merlyn is your biological father, Thea,” Oliver said. “I told you before. That doesn’t change who you are or who loved you growing up. At least you got to grow up with Tommy even if neither of you knew that you were siblings…”

“Which makes me throwing myself at him at one point so creepy…” Thea spoke up. “He was a good guy though,” she whispered sadly a moment later.

“He was,” Oliver agreed. “When I came back after the funeral… I told Felicity and Diggle that if we were going to continue things… To go out and protect the people of this city that it was to honor Tommy. He had called me a killer… Felicity had said that there was another way and she was right.” He was quiet for a long moment. “When I thought I killed Merlyn before, it was kill or be killed…”

“I’m pretty sure Diggle thought that you’d killed yourself in the process,” Felicity piped up. She looked at Thea. “He shoved an arrow through himself in order to get to Merlyn.”

“But now, Thea… I don’t know if there’s another way.”

“I know that, Ollie,” Thea spoke up. 

“He’s your father, Speedy… You know if there was any other way--”

“He would have killed me the other night if my hood hadn’t revealed that it was me who shot Felicity,” Thea told him. “He’s done too much… He killed our father,” Thea reminded. “He’s tried to kill you… He took Felicity and that little girl… He would have killed you the other night and the rest of us if he hadn’t run off after seeing me. He attacked us tonight. He knew that I was here. How could he not? We have to protect ourselves, Ollie…”

“Speedy…”

“Look, our lives are a lot more screwed up than we realized a decade ago… One thing I know is that our dad was always Robert Queen… He might not have ended up making the best chocies in life, but he was always here for us and loved us,” Thea said. “If Merlyn had even thought that I was his daughter, then he’s had all these years to figure that out...not just because Tommy died and Merlyn decided to come back to life… You can’t just choose to have a family when you please…”

“You have more family than you realize,” Felicity whispered. 

Thea smiled and looked at her. “I know. A family I didn’t even know…”

“And there’s still Walter…”

“You don’t think Merlyn will go after him, do you?” Thea asked suddenly panicking. “He locked Walter away before!”

“I’ll have Sara go out and check, but my guess is that since mom and Walter are divorced, he’s no longer any kind of threat,” Oliver said. “And he’s not someone that Merlyn can easily use as a pawn.”

“I suppose that’s a plus, even though I wish he were still here,” Thea voiced.

“Everything’s going to work out, Speedy,” Oliver said quietly as he pulled her to him. He kissed the top of her head. “I don’t know how yet...but I know it will… And no matter what, I will keep you two safe…”

And she knew that he was telling the truth.

Felicity knew that he’d give his life to save them.

She just hoped that it didn’t come to that.

 

. . .

 

Walter was safe.

That brought small comfort to them. Felicity knew that anyone was sleeping well, if they were even sleeping. The doors that Merlyn had come through at the end of the hallway had been boarded up and secured. Moira had been assured that everything was okay, she had no idea about the bait plan. 

Felicity wasn’t sleeping.

The sun was up by now, she was sure. 

“Are you asleep?” she whispered.

Oliver was in her bed again and had been still the entire time, his breath even, but she had suspected that he was just laying there. He hadn’t wanted to leave Thea, but since Roy was going to be with her...he’d seemed okay. Or at least he seemed to accept the fact that his sister didn’t want him hovering over her. They still all really needed their space. 

“No.”

She snuggled against his chest even more now. “Things are going to work out…”

“I want to know that.”

“You’re afraid that something will happen to Thea and I…”

“I wish that I could guarantee your safety…yours and Thea’s…” Oliver told her. “After everything, I should be able to protect the ones that I love the most.”

Felicity was fairly sure that she and Thea were really the two that Oliver loved the most. She knew that he loved his mother, but there were so many skeletons in her closet. Felicity felt like Oliver wasn’t quite as close to Moira Queen as he’d been once. “Thea and I will be fine, Oliver,” she whispered. “You, Sara, Roy, and Diggle are all going to be looking out for us...and your mom will be safely hidden away.” She was fairly sure that they’d come up with knocking her out and storing her at the Foundry and they’d be giving her something stronger than one of Arrow’s darts. 

“Felicity, I want to tell you that after all of this...that you won’t be put into any danger again… That no one will hurt you or--”

“I hope you’re not trying to push me out of the Arrow business,” Felicity told him as she looked up at him. He was looking down at her in the dark. She knew that he only wanted to keep her safe. She knew that this was far too close to home for them all. She knew that they were all at such a dangerous risk.

“I know that there’s no way you would let that happen.”

“You’re right.”

“I should have taught you how to defend yourself,” he said. “I should have--”

“I am so much more useful with a computer though,” she responded with a smile. “And...there’s still time to teach me how to protect myself...once my shoulder is a bit more healed… I feel like Digg would frown upon you trying to teach me anything right now.”

Oliver smiled at her. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

“Because now it’s more than just you, me, and Diggle?”

Oliver nodded. 

“Thea and Roy are more capable than you give them credit for,” she pointed out. “And they have the best teachers. You, Digg, and Sara will be able to teach them all kinds of things that Digg couldn’t teach them on his own…”

“And you?”

“I’d probably have worse aim than Thea…” Felicity told him. “I’ve lifted up your bow before… I’m really not sure that I should dabble outside of my field of expertise… I mean, I’ve gone undercover multiple times and I’m pretty sure every time I’ve messed that up.”

“That’s not true.”

“Name one.”

“The Merlyn job.”

Felicity smiled. “I got caught by security and Diggle had to come rescue me.”

“The case with the Dollmaker…”

“He came after me, pushed me, and then he got away,” Felicity reminded. “He ended up going after Lance and Laurel afterwards.”

She could see Oliver frown in the dark. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again. Oliver seemed frustrated. 

“Don’t worry, eventually I won’t suck so much at undercover,” Felicity told him. “Or at least I hope so…”

“It’s the least of my worries.”

 

. . .

 

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who are interested, my blog is 
> 
> http://shannyfish11.blogspot.com/
> 
> When I'm finished with "Another Life", the commentary will be posted with the alternative roads I could have gone with a lot of the big decisions in writing this. I've already started it. So, at least it won't take so long. Also, "Perdition"'s commentary is already posted! 
> 
> There are also some future story ideas posted. I always like getting input, so speak up and let me know!


	9. Somebody to Die For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I don't think the plot bunnies in my head are being helpful when I'm trying to write this story and wrap it up but then distracting me with wondrous plot ideas for another fic...or two...or three!

Oliver had promised her and Thea. 

He’d promised to keep them safe.

He’d kept his promise.

She was sure, to him, that was all that mattered.

Felicity and Thea were safe.

It wasn’t enough.

“Breathe!”

“Felicity!” 

Tears rolled down her face as she stared across his body towards where Thea was sitting. Felicity wasn’t the only one crying. Thea had Malcolm Merlyn’s head in her lap and she was bawling her eyes out. Felicity had known that once Oliver killed Merlyn that Thea would feel differently. This man who had tortured Felicity, he was Thea’s biological father...and as much of a bastard as he was...there was still so much in the Merlyn world that Thea never knew and now never would know. Thea Queen had lost another father.

“Thea!”

“Breathe!” she screamed again. 

Felicity moved her attention back to Oliver. Arrows had gone flying crazy during the fight, but it had been Sara and her moves and it had been Roy with his arrows and Diggle with his bullets… Somehow in it all, Merlyn had gone down, but so had Oliver. Felicity hadn’t been able to find a wound, but he wasn’t breathing. 

“Let me do it,” Diggle said as he moved to continue CPR on Oliver. 

She fell back from her knees until she was sitting, the palms of her hand flat on the cold rooftop. Felicity couldn’t take her eyes off of the very still form of Oliver. Diggle continued the CPR and suddenly everyone else was there. Sara was peeling back Oliver’s Arrow costume, most likely looking for a wound. She’d been there it seemed like only moments before feeling over the green leather searching as well, expecting her hand to come back wet with his blood.

This wasn’t like how it normally was when Oliver was injured. They weren’t a the Foundry. This looked like there was no coming back… It made the sobs that she’d tried to contain bubble to the surface and the tears flooded her face. She covered her mouth and just watched them with Oliver. He didn’t seem to be responding, still. Felicity didn’t know how long Diggle or Sara would try. She turned her head to see Thea, still with Malcolm Merlyn’s lifeless form in her lap, and Roy with his arms wrapped around her. All she could think in that moment as she stared at Thea was that Thea couldn’t lose Oliver. She’d lost so much and so many already.

“It’s not time to give up now!” Diggle yelled and was suddenly shaking Oliver. 

Felicity noticed then that she and Thea weren’t the only ones crying, Sara and Digg had tears in their eyes as well. Diggle tried compressions again, but after a moment, Sara put her hands over his. 

“We can’t stop now,” he growled.

“It’s been too long,” Sara countered.

“No,” Felicity whispered as she stared at them. “No…” She felt like someone was stabbing something through her chest. Felicity struggled to suck in breath before pushing herself back to Oliver’s body. Sara moved away and Felicity filled that spot, she put her hands on either side of Oliver’s face. “You can’t leave us,” she whispered and half expected him to respond. He didn’t. Sobs escaped her lips as she waited another moment before curling up beside his still form. Her head lay on his chest and her arm wrap around him. She closed her eyes and wished that he’d not kept his promise… That Malcolm had killed her, but left Thea safe...and Oliver. “Oliver…” she barely got out.

Oliver Queen. Arrow. They were dead.

This was her fault.

If she’d kept her deal with Merlyn, none of this would have happened. She’d be miserable, but there would be happy moments. In the end, she knew that it would all be worth it because Oliver Queen would still be alive… But she’d been so selfish, so foolish… How she wished that science fiction was real, that she could choose to go back in time and stop herself from leaving that life with Merlyn… 

To make a different choice.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped between sobs.

A forceful wheeze filled the air around them before there was coughing. 

“Oliver!” 

It wasn’t only Felicity’s voice that sounded out at the same exact time. She knew that for a moment, everyone had been mourning his loss. Felicity clung to him, never wanting to release her hold on him even if she felt like this was her fault. Malcolm Merlyn was dead and there was no going back in time, but most important...Oliver Queen was alive. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again as fresh tears coated his green leather.

“Shh…” he barely breathed. His arm came up around her and held her. “You okay?” he managed to push out as his lips pressed against her forehead.

Felicity nodded.

“Speedy?”

“She...she wasn’t injured,” Felicity told him, trying to figure out the best words to use. She turned her head in the direction that Thea had last been. Now, Roy had her on her feet, but Thea was still staring down at Merlyn. 

“Thea,” she could hear Roy say.

“Ollie?!?!” Thea shrieked.

Moments ago, Thea Queen had thought that she’d lost the father who had loved her and raised her, her biological father who she never really knew and probably was torn about whether she would have wanted to, a brother she was raised around but didn’t know it until after his death, and a brother that she adored and had been friends with all of her life. Thea rushed to where they were and launched herself at Oliver.

Felicity started to move away, but Oliver’s arm held her in place. 

“Stay,” Oliver breathed as he turned to her. He used his other arm to pull Thea to him. 

“We need to get you to--” Diggle started to stay.

“I just want to hold them for a minute,” Oliver mumbled.

“We thought you were dead,” Thea cried.

“I thought i was too…”

“Don’t do that again,” Felicity added.

Oliver just smiled as he looked between them as he held them. It wouldn’t be the last time and they all knew that. One thing was for sure, though, they were stronger as a team. He would have died and Merlyn would have prevailed if it had just been the two of them. Oliver had to know now that they all needed each other.

“I love you,” she whispered into his ear as she closed her eyes as more tears fell.

“I love you,” he pushed out. He looked to her and kissed her forehead again. “You’re safe… You’re both safe…”

 

. . .

 

“You need to keep this arm in the sling,” Diggle told her. 

She was fairly sure he was getting sick of having to tell her that. She’d also received a lecture that she didn’t need to prove anything about her level of pain tolerance on the ride back to the Foundry. She’d mostly ignored what everything anyone but Oliver had said during that time. Diggle could lecture her later when she was more ready to pretend to be listening. Right now, she just couldn’t…

“I know,” she finally said after he just stared at her in silence for a full minute.

“You need to heal.”

“I know.”

“Felicity--”

“Can you just concentrate on him right now?” Felicity questioned. She turned her head to where Oliver was laying on the rather uncomfortable table, she knew this now from personal experience. She was still terrified that they were going to lose him. Diggle was starting to think that there were internal injuries and they just weren’t equipped or skilled enough to deal with that kind of injury. 

Oliver was barely hanging on, Roy was banged up along with being grazed pretty badly in one shoulder by an arrow, and Diggle was walking around with a bullet in his leg. She and Thea were okay, besides Felicity’s older wound. Diggle had insisted that she could dig out the bullet and patch him up and Sara was already taking care of Roy with Thea’s help. Oliver was the one who really needed to be in a hospital. 

“Felicity--”

She was quiet as she looked right at him. “I can’t lose him, John. Not now. Not after everything.”

“I know,” he told her quietly. “I’m not going to let that happen… I’m the bodyguard, remember? It looks bad on my resume if one of my previous bosses dies…”

Felicity smiled. “I thought your secret identity was Oliver’s black driver?” she teased. 

Diggle laughed and she could hear Sara laugh as well. Felicity was fairly sure that they all needed a light moment. It had been too tense and there had been too much almost death. They needed smiling and laughter. 

“Your cover of Oliver’s executive assistant needs to stay in tact too, you know,” Diggle told her.

She just stared at him for a long moment.

“We’re taking back Queen Consolidated, aren’t we?”

“Hells yeah, we are!” Felicity told him with far too much enthusiasm. She realized that everyone was looking at her and that her good arm was up in the air in a fist pump. She really, really did that. 

Diggle grinned at her. “At least it wasn’t the other arm…”

“We need to get things back on track.”

“It’s not going to be easy,” Sara spoke up. “Oliver’s made quite a mess of things.”

“But it’s not impossible,” Thea chimed in. Everyone turned to look at her. “I’ve listened to my mom and even Walter discuss Queen Consolidated these last few months… I think I know how we need to do this…”

“Isabel is the biggest obstacle,” Felicity offered. “Obviously…”

“She’s not a fan of my mom,” Thea added. 

“I had noticed that before.”

“But I think this just might work…”

 

. . .

 

“It’s been hours.”

“I told you that it would be--”

“You said three, it’s been five!”

“Felicity, sit down,” Diggle said as she paced around. 

She just couldn’t take the not knowing. She knew that Diggle said that he was fairly sure that he knew what was wrong and that it was nothing… It still required surgery. Officer Lance had already been there and asked them a million questions. Their cover story was that one of Oliver’s cars’ breaks had gone out and he’d crashed into a pole on the Queen Mansion grounds. They’d even sadly crashed one in order to stage it, just in case the police wanted to investigate further. Felicity was fairly sure that Lance was more interested in the fact that she had a sling over the fact that Oliver was being operated on.

“I can’t! I--It’s--I just--” she couldn’t get the words out and tears started to fall again. She turned away from him and noticed the doctor. Moira and Thea Queen were already with him along with Roy in tow. Felicity suddenly felt a bit jealous. Her place wasn’t there at the Queen family’s side, but she felt like it should be. She and Oliver were close...and Digg too… Their secret identities sucked. “I don’t like that we have to keep our distance like this,” she finally said clearly as she nervously watched the exchange from where she stood. Felicity finally turned back and sat down next to Diggle.

It was okay, she told herself.

Thea or Roy would come over and fill them in, she was sure, but it was still so hard. Mrs. Queen had already questioned why Thea had called them, she didn’t know the truth. Felicity wished that she did. Maybe Moira Queen wouldn’t hate her so much. Maybe she’d finally understand the relationship she and Digg had with Oliver and why they cared so much. 

“He’s going to be okay,” Diggle told her again. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her until her head fell on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and held her like that for a while before saying anything more. “I just couldn’t chance it…”

“I know,” she whispered back.

“The doctors said that he had an incredibly amount of internal bruising, that ribs were pressing against lungs...and I think he said other internal organs...but the good news was that nothing had been punctured,” Thea said as she suddenly appeared in front of them. “And he has a really bad concussion…”

“There was other more confusing stuff they said, but the bottomline is that he’s going to be fine,” Roy added.

“Why are you two over here?” Moira interrupted. She turned her attention to Felicity and Diggle now. “And the two of you. I didn’t ask for you to be here. Mr. Diggle, if you’d been doing your job then this wouldn’t have happened--”

“Mom!” Thea argued.

“It’s okay,” Diggle said quietly and calmly as he held up a hand to Thea. 

“And that’s not how you address someone when you’re in that family’s employ!” Moira went on.

Felicity wanted to say something, but she knew that Digg wouldn’t want her to say something, especially when he’d just stopped Thea from arguing with her mother. So, she sat there quiet, but had straightened so that she wasn’t leaning against Diggle. She also was really trying to avoid eye contact with Moira Queen. 

“I expect you and Ms. Smoak to pack up your things and be out of my house,” Moira said a moment later. “You both will no longer be needed on the Queen Family or Queen Consolidated payroll.”

She couldn’t help it this time, Felicity’s eyes widened and she looked up for a moment at Mrs. Queen. She and Diggle had just agreed that they were going to help Oliver take back Queen Consolidated. How were they going to do that if they were fired from his life?

“And I don’t expect either of you to be back here either,” Moira added. “I’m going to instruct security that you are to keep out! Oliver doesn’t need to be around either of you. I don’t need you influencing him in any way while he’s trying to heal.”

“Mrs. Queen--” Diggle started.

“Mr. Diggle, I believe that I made myself perfectly clear and I expect that if you want a good recommendation at your future ventures that you stop right there,” Moira told him.

“Mom!” Thea argued again. 

“It’s just that--” Diggle tried again.

“I don’t want this to be a discussion. This conversation is over, Mr. Diggle. I will make sure that you receive severance,” Moira said matter of factly.

Felicity was on her feet and speaking rather confidently and all too boldly to Moira Queen before she could really even think it through. “With all due respect, Mrs. Queen. Diggle and I work for Oliver. Not you. We worked for him when you were in Iron Heights and after you were released. You may have been the driving force in hiring Diggle on, but you weren’t the one behind hiring me. Once Oliver is awake, if he wants to hire either of us...that’s fine. But until I hear it directly from him, I’m not going far.”

“Ms. Smoak--”

“I know that you might not understand our relationship with your son...or your daughter, but we’re not bad people. We want what’s best for Oliver,” Felicity went on. She’d already opened her mouth so she figured that there was no going back now, so she might as well press on. “We already intend to take back Queen Consolidated from Isabel’s grasp. Either you can help us, so that once Oliver is healed up, he can march into the board meeting...or you can step out of the way. Either way, it’s happening.”

“Are you quite done?”

Felicity stopped and took a breath. She took in the faces. Moira looked irritated, Thea and Roy both seemed rather shocked, and Diggle seemed fairly proud. She looked back at Moira. “For now at least…”

“I hope you all have a grand plan if you’re intentions are really to put Oliver back in place as CEO of the company,” Moira stated. 

“I have one,” Thea spoke up.

“You do?”

Thea nodded. “But we’re going to need Walter’s help… He’s still family, right?”

“Yes.” Moira seemed proud of Thea. Felicity wasn’t sure if it was because having a plan meant that Thea was somewhat invested in the company and Moira hadn’t expected that or simply because she was over thinking that she could control them all. “I’ll make the call,” she said a moment later and then disappeared.

“I wish Oliver could have seen that,” Diggle said as he took her hand. Felicity smiled and looked over at him. 

“I’m not sure he’d have believed it even if he saw it,” Roy spoke up. “I’m still not sure I do and I watched it happen…”

Felicity just beamed. She just hoped that this meant that going forward that she wouldn’t have to fight both Moira and Isabel. She needed the allies. “I don’t want to go far,” she said suddenly. “Just in case he wakes up…” Her tone was suddenly sad and worried. 

The thing was, no one else really knew the relationship she had with Oliver. She was sure that Diggle could come the closest to knowing and that Sara, Roy, and Thea probably sort of thought they knew. It was just something that she couldn’t quite put into words. She loved him. Felicity loved him more than she’d loved any other person in her life. There had just always been something about him and maybe it had started off as a crush, but it had transformed into something much more than that. 

“We’ll stay with Ollie,” Thea spoke up. 

“I really could use a shower...and some food,” Felicity found herself saying suddenly. 

“You shouldn’t get your shoulder wet,” Diggle reminded.

Felicity nodded. “I’ll figure it out.”

“I’ll drop you off and then pick you up,” Diggle told her. “And we’ll bring back everyone food.”

“Sounds good,” Thea said.

“You think we’re all safe now?” Roy asked.

“You’re asking about the league?” Diggle questioned.

Felicity hadn’t thought about the league of assassins coming after them. They really didn’t need that. She really hadn’t taken that into consideration either. Felicity had always assumed that it had just been Merlyn, just him...no one else. She hadn’t thought outside of that box. But now that she was thinking about it, she realized that he was always leaving for ‘business’. What business could he possibly have been leaving for all of the time if Merlyn Global was no more?

“Let’s just hope that this time it was just Merlyn,” she whispered.

 

. . .

 

Felicity had reluctantly had to step foot back into the Queen Mansion, but luckily it had been just in and out and Diggle was covering her in case Mrs. Queen spotted her. Felicity had needed her tablet and it was in her room there. She’d also stopped to get Oliver a change of clothes for when he woke up, she wanted to make sure that they were prepared. 

“You know that Queen Consolidated plans could wait until tomorrow, right?”

She turned to look at him like he was crazy.

“Or not…” Diggle was quiet for a while as he drove. “Since when did you take over things?”

“What did I take over?”

Diggle smiled at her. “You were all in charge at the hospital. I’ve been in charge of Team Arrow while Oliver’s been gone, but you just stepped right in…”

“I didn’t mean to--”

“No, no,” he said as he turned his attention back to the road. “You try doing it for a while…”

Felicity just stared at him as he drove. She hadn’t meant it in that way. She had never been in charge of the Arrow business. She was used to Oliver being the one who called the shots. She understood Diggle doing it. But her? That made no sense. Oliver had island experience and Diggle had military experience. Felicity had experience in hacking...and getting captured… That was really about it. She didn’t know how to make the elaborate fighting plans. She assumed there were more elaborate plans now since there were more people with hoods and arrows.

“I just didn’t want her to kick us out,” Felicity told him finally. “Before Merlyn came back… Oliver and I had been talking about taking back his role in QC. I didn’t want Mrs. Queen trying to get rid of us before we could get to the point of actually doing things. And let’s face it, Oliver’s going to want to see us when he wakes up.”

“He’ll probably want to see his mother and sister, too.”

“I know,” Felicity said quickly. “But she was going to banish us...or try to banish us from his life… I know she might not like me--”

“She doesn’t know you, Felicity,” he reminded gently.

Silence filled the car for a moment before she finally spoke again. “She doesn’t think I’m good enough for her son…” Felicity stared back out the passenger side window. “And she’s right,” she whispered.

“Felicity--”

“Oliver was supposed to be with gorgeous Laurel…” 

“There was a reason why he went on the Queen’s Gambit...why he took a different Lance...and why things have never worked out between him and Laurel…” Diggle reminded. “Don’t you think if it was really meant to be, that they would have found a way by now? Let’s face it, they haven’t even really been to the point where they’re much of friends…”

And she knew what he was saying was true. 

Laurel had been who Oliver had been hung up when they’d first met. She’d seen him try to make things work, but they just hadn’t… And ever since Tommy died, Laurel wasn’t very friendly towards the Arrow. Which really made things awkward all around… Let alone when she had to prosecute Mrs. Queen. Felicity knew that it was her job, but it couldn’t have been easy… 

“Oliver could have any--”

“He’s only wanted you, Felicity,” Diggle told her. “I don’t know why you keep trying to run away from that fact.”

“He deserves someone who isn’t going to cringe when they’re touched in the wrong way.”

Diggle parked the car and then turned in the seat to look right at her. “Do you really think that Oliver is going to let you get away...again...because he can’t be patient? Because he can’t be understanding? You know Oliver better than that…”

“All I can think is that Mrs. Queen expects--”

“She just expects Oliver to be happy...and out of the hospital…” Diggle told her. “Both are going to happen… Plus, we’re going to show her how strong you can be when it comes to QC.”

“Wait…”

“You and Thea are going to get that plan in place and--”

“Why is it me and Thea all of the sudden? What happened to the whole team spirit?” she asked. Felicity pumped her fist into the air. “Go Team Arrow…”

Diggle laughed. “This time, it’s you two...until Oliver is on the mend… But I’m sure Mr. Steele and Mrs. Queen will be happy to help you where they can…”

Felicity was okay working with Walter, but she really wasn’t looking forward to having to spend longer amounts of time with Mrs. Queen. She didn’t think that that would end well at all. Right now the only way she saw herself getting into Mrs. Queen’s good graces was to work with Thea and to be successful with taking QC back from Isabel’s control. 

“The thing that is going to matter the most is Oliver being okay again…” she whispered.

“He’ll be fine… He just needs time to heal… He normally doesn’t get that,” Diggle reminded. 

“He better heal fast,” she said with a sigh. Then with determination, she gathered the things from the car. “We have a company to take back!”

 

. . .

 

“You need sleep,” Thea observed. There was concern filled in her voice and yet she was gentle about it. 

“I think we all do,” Roy said matter of factly. 

“The doctor said we shouldn’t crowd…” Thea mentioned a moment later.

“You guys sure you’re going to be okay?”

“Well, I’m still bummed about the lie of bringing food…” 

Felicity grinned. Thea and Roy had mentioned it only every other sentence and Diggle didn’t seem to be any more amused by it than when they’d mentioned it the first time. He’d forgotten and so had she, and then they’d returned to Roy and Thea complaining that they were starving… 

“Next time,” Diggle promised them.

“Are you two going to be okay until tomorrow?” Roy questioned.

“One of us can always run to get something...or there’s the cafeteria…”

“If you value your life, I’d stay away from the cafeteria...unless you’re eating a packaged snack from the vending machine or something…”

“Good to know.”

“I did recon,” Roy said.

Diggle snorted. “Good job, Kid.”

“Just doing what you taught me…” Roy responded all too seriously.

It was then that Felicity realized that she wasn’t the only one rolling her eyes in response, so was Thea. She was glad that she’d gotten to know Thea Queen a bit better, even if it hadn’t been under the best of circumstances. She was going to be okay, though, Felicity was sure.

“I’ll e-mail you an outline of what we talked about after I eat something,” Thea told Felicity. 

“I’ll keep an eye out for it,” Felicity told her with a smile. “But if you need to sleep...I’ll understand too…”

“I’ll let you know.”

No matter what happened with Queen Consolidated, Thea was so much stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Even though she’d broken down after Oliver and Merlyn had gone down, she’d been able to pull herself together and function with her mother around. Felicity didn’t know how she did it. She also had no idea how Thea was coping… She was just glad that Thea had Roy around. 

A few minutes later, it was just her and Diggle...and a very unconscious Oliver Queen. The doctors were saying that he should be fine. Felicity swore that nurses were coming in just to say that they could touch him by taking his vitals. Felicity just didn’t think the number of different nurses coming in was normal. She was fairly sure that it was usually one nurse that you saw for a length of time, maybe two. 

“We could charge…” Diggle teased.

Felicity sighed. “He needs his rest.”

“He’s getting it.”

“He probably hears the door every time it opens and closes.”

“You’re jealous…”

Felicity turned to stare at him, moving her attention away from her tablet. “I am not.” Thea hadn’t e-mailed her yet and she really was wanting to get things going. And she just really wanted to work on a project, she wanted to keep busy, and to keep her mind off of everything.

“They’re probably just as jealous of you, as you are of them.”

“I don’t think that really makes me feel better.”

“This should,” Diggle said. “You and Oliver...when you first got back...when Olivia was still at the house… You three looked right together. You looked like family. Given the situation, you were happy… And with all of the Oliver has to remain an island crap that he throws around, I think you really showed him that he can have it all...even if he’s worried…”

“John--”

“I mean it,” he insisted. “I wouldn’t say it, if it wasn’t true.”

She was quiet as she turned to stare at Oliver. “When he finally breathed on that rooftop… I kept thinking that I was so happy that he didn’t die before I could tell him again how much I loved him…”

“You two need each other, Felicity… You two might be a little dysfunctional at times, but you’re so much better when you’re together…”

“Dysfunctional?”

Diggle shrugged. “We can’t all be perfect.”

Felicity smiled. “I just want him to be happy… To make the right choice for him…”

“He’s not chasing after you because it’s a crush, Felicity.”

“But he has so many options…”

“And who’s stood beside him? Who’s kept his secrets and knows his secrets? Who’s fought him and fought for him? We both know that Oliver hates to lie to those close to him, do you really think that he’s going to be in a functional healthy relationship with someone he can’t be truthful with?” Diggle asked. “I’m telling you, Helena isn’t an option. She’s definitely a psychopath...and batshit crazy…”

“Sara…”

“You’ve seen them together,” Diggle told her. “If there was anything between them, it was in the past...or it never really was there…”

“I also, you know...wouldn’t want to cross her… I fear her a lot more than I’ve ever feared Oliver…or even you know, jumping out of planes…”

Diggle laughed this time. He sighed. “We really do a hell of a lot for him, don’t we?”

“He’s pretty much our life...as cliche and possibly pathetic as that sounds.”

“I really need to spend more time with Lyla,” Diggle said as he shook his head. A smile was still firmly in place.

“Well, don’t forget… You have Roy and Thea now, too.”

Diggle groaned. “That girl is going to give me a heart attack.”

“She means well,” Felicity said. She could relate. She’d messed up a lot, but she didn’t think that Diggle or Oliver thought of her so negatively because of it. It just had happened… “You have to give her time…”

“Just as long as she practices back at the Foundry more.”

The ding of her tablet turned her attention away from Diggle as she checked her e-mail. Sure enough, Thea had e-mailed her. It was an outline of what they needed to do. She knew that there would be some things where they were definitely going to meet with Walter, but for now...she’d work on what she could.

“Time to work on Operation: Save QC.”

“That’s not a good operation name.”

“It’s simple and to the point.”

“That’s really not how they name operations.”

“That’s probably why they can make things that sound dull sound more exciting,” Felicity pointed out. “But right now, I have research to do…”

“Who on?”

“Isabel Rochev.”

“I thought you did that before?”

“This time, it’s different…”

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	10. Second Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to really hate writing the final chapters... I think I just become too attached to the story and really don't want it to end. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I wrote a series. No series ideas in my head currently, though!

She’d never been so happy and proud to walk into Queen Consolidated as the executive assistant to Oliver Queen. Maybe it was the fact that she felt incredibly confident or maybe it was just the fact that she felt like they were walking in with a parade of people in order to change the future of Queen Consolidated. All of the Queens were present and Felicity was still effectively avoiding eye contact with Moira Queen. 

Felicity had pulled on one of her more professional dresses, color and cut. It wasn’t that her other clothes were unprofessional, this one just screamed more ready for a board meeting than just Oliver Queen’s executive assistant. The whole idea was that they needed to look as serious as they were about to talk. She and Thea had worked up an insanely creative and smart presentation to show the board. They were going to take Queen Consolidated into the future… They were going to make it a company that would make the world better…

“Are we sure about this?” 

She just smiled as he paused outside of the boardroom. Felicity turned to him and took a moment to fix his tie and to brush some lint from his shoulder. “You just let Thea and I handle things…”

“Then why am I here?” Oliver teased.

“To look pretty,” Thea chimed in.

“Have I mentioned how grown up you look?”

Thea just grinned.

It was a little odd. She felt like she belonged with that family. It wasn’t just her, Thea, and Oliver. It was Diggle, Roy, and Moira too. Everyone was dressed up and looking like they belonged there. Walter would be showing up soon as well, to rally support in a different way. This really was Oliver Queen’s family. The family that she knew that she didn’t belong to, but she was glad that she could fit in here and there with. 

“No matter what happens in there,” Oliver said. “Thank you all...for trying.” He looked at everyone of them in turn.

“That speech really sucked,” Felicity told him. “This is why you’re going to sit there and look pretty.” 

“Cheeky.”

She grinned at Walter’s voice and turned towards him. “Mr. Steele. It’s so good to see you again.”

“Ms. Smoak,” Walter greeted. “Are we just planning on hanging around the hallway?”

“Just telling Oliver that he’s to keep his mouth shut and to look pretty,” Thea said as she turned to Walter as well. 

Walter turned to Oliver and put his hand on his shoulder. “I’m fairly sure that I’m here to look like additional support and possibly intimidate…whoever they expect me to stare down.” He paused for a moment before speaking to Oliver again. “I’m not sure if you’ve found this out yet, Son, but oftentimes it’s the smartest thing to just listen to their direction and smile.”

“I think I’m learning that,” Oliver replied. 

Felicity smiled at him and he smiled back, he seemed to be okay with this. He really didn’t have a choice. This was it. It was now or never. This was the chance they’d been waiting for ever since before Oliver had landed in the hospital. 

“We shouldn’t keep them waiting,” Walter announced.

“He’s right,” Moira chimed in. 

It was a little odd to see, but heart warming at the same time. Walter moved to the front of the group, up with Moira. For a moment, it was like Felicity forgot that the two were no longer together. She knew that Walter had seen them while she’d been with Merlyn, she wondered if perhaps there was hope for reconcile… 

“Showtime,” she said as she turned to Oliver as they all started to file into the room. 

One thing they’d known for sure was that Isabel Rochev was not going to easily give up the company, but they weren’t going to give her a choice. Their presentation and plans for the company were very carefully thought out and ready to be presented. It was one of those presentations that didn’t give you a reason to say ‘no’ or so Felicity hoped. 

 

. . .

 

“It could have gone better,” she voiced nervously as she stared out the window of the car. They’d driven over in two cars, it was just her, Oliver, and Diggle. Oliver’s hand was suddenly right above her knee. That brought her attention from the window over to his smiling face.

“You and Thea did an amazing job,” Oliver told her.

“But was it enough?”

“It was all we had…and I think that come Monday, we’re going to receive a call,” Oliver said.

“That’s a very vague reply to a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question,” she told him with a little irritation. “Queen Consolidated should be in Queen hands…” Felicity sighed. “I suppose at least it was a good sign that she hadn’t already tried to have it accepted into Stellmoor International or renamed it Rochev Consolidated.”

“You definitely shocked Isabel,” Diggle spoke up. “Not only with the presentation, but you could tell…just from our presence… From all the Queens being there…and Mr. Steele…”

“I’m sure she didn’t expect to see Walter there supporting the family even though he’d done it before,” Oliver agreed.

“Is he and your mother…?” Felicity questioned. This was her chance to try to get her inklings answered. 

“I don’t know,” Oliver responded truthfully. “It would be nice to see, especially with how poorly she’s taken…most things these last couple of weeks…”

“Speaking of things these last few weeks,” Diggle said. “I need to look over, Felicity, to make sure that wound is healing… I still think we should have had a doctor look at it—“

“It would have raised too many questions,” she said. “It’s fine…but I would love Doctor Digg’s second opinion.” She grinned at him via the rear view mirror. He smiled back and shook his head. 

Oliver wrapped an arm around her and pulled her as close as he could with seat belts interfering. He dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I was thinking…maybe the three of us should go out to lunch…just us…”

“Didn’t you tell your mother that we’d all go home for lunch?” Diggle asked.

“Yes…”

“She already hates me, Oliver—“ Felicity started, but was cut off.

“She doesn’t, but I was thinking I could text Roy and Thea… Maybe they could have their own lunch and leave mom with Walter…”

“I’m just letting you know this now,” Felicity told him. “I’m going to be at my apartment to avoid coming under fire tonight.”

“All of your things are at the mansion.”

“Not everything,” Felicity told him. “You really don’t know how much closet space a woman can occupy…”

Oliver smiled at her. “Your toothbrush is there.”

“I have a back-up.”

Diggle snorted.

Felicity shook her head. “Your mother is going to think it was my idea… She has some delusion that she has these two angelic children. I know that a mother loves her children, but this is getting ridiculous. Has she met you and Thea? She has to know what your records look like…even if she’s tried to banish most of them…”

Oliver just stared at her. “Like you said, a mother loves her children…”

She rolled her eyes and looked back to the quickly changing landscape out her window. She supposed that at least for the moment, Moira Queen wasn’t trying to fire her and Diggle…again. There were small victories. Though, if this didn’t work, she was sure that come Monday that it would be on Moira Queen’s list of things to do.

“So, what did we decide?” Diggle asked.

“Already texted Thea, she and Roy are going to disappear from sight as soon as is possible. So, that leaves the three of us free for lunch…”

 

. . .

 

“You two didn’t have to leave like that,” Oliver told them as he joined them out in front of the restaurant. 

“It was very business-y…and we’re still ‘the help’,” Felicity pointed out. She gestured to herself and then Diggle in turn. “Executive assistant to CEO and black driver for CEO…”

Oliver rolled his eyes at her. Felicity was sure that Diggle was amused. “He had wanted to congratulate you on such a prepared and thought out presentation… You and Thea amazed the board. He’s only one member, but he says that he can say with a good amount of confidence that he believes that Queen Consolidated with be back in Queen hands by Tuesday.”

Felicity beamed. “I’m glad.” She’d done it all for Oliver. To get him back where he needed. Having a job, especially with benefits, was also a good perk. He was right though, they all needed to protect their ‘secret identities’ as Team Arrow by making sure that their real world personas were out there. Being unemployed would likely lend to finger pointing in their direction. 

“Ask her out already!” Diggle shouted.

Felicity looked between the rear view mirror and Oliver. It wasn’t a secret how they felt, but she hadn’t expected Diggle to just come out and say that! Plus, wasn’t there some kind of superhero rule about dating people that you worked with? She knew that Oliver worried about her safety… But they needed each other. That was really the end of it. 

“Thanks Digg,” Oliver mumbled. 

He looked at her and she had to look away. Was he going to ask her? Was this going to be the start to an actual relationship? Could they even do it? Felicity felt like crying simply because the day had been so much so far, she didn’t know if she could stand any more. Did she love Oliver? Yes. Had she hoped for something more? Yes. Had she honestly expected it? No. Oliver had been trying to hard to keep her at arm’s length. 

“Felicity,” he whispered as he directed her face back around. “Can we just talk? Tonight? At dinner?” He looked in Diggle’s direction. “Without an audience?”

“I’m going to find out later anyways…”

She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped from her lips. The three of them were close and she was sure that Diggle would be filled in on what happened, but sometimes it was nice for just her and Oliver to have some time together. It was rare and far in between. 

“Okay,” she finally whispered.

“Good.”

“I’m still not walking into that house with you after what you pulled at lunch,” she told him. Felicity watched his face, he just looked amused. Even though she knew that Moira was happy with the presentation, she’d congratulated her and Thea on it a few times, Felicity still didn’t feel like she was on good ground with the Queen family matriarch. 

“Felicity—“

“She’ll blame me—“

“She won’t—“

“She probably will,” Diggle spoke up.

“You’re not helping,” Oliver argued.

“Just trying to save us all from the wrath of your mother along with the blowout that’s going to come from Felicity being upset,” Diggle told him.

“John’s a wise man,” Felicity told Oliver as he pointed towards Diggle. “You should take lessons…”

“Hey!” Oliver complained. “I can make good decisions!”

“When it comes to women?”

“Life is all about learning from your mistakes, right?”

“Normally, people learn a little faster,” Diggle pointed out.

Oliver seemed a little annoyed, but more in the play sense. Felicity doubted that he was really upset with him. After all, they’d been the only two he could be completely honest with for so long. They were probably still the people he was closest to. “You two don’t give me any slack, do you?”

“It’s better this way.”

Felicity beamed at him. “Someone’s got to treat you like a normal person,” she said. She leaned against him and let her head fall onto his shoulder. This was how it should always be. She knew that their circle had to grow a bit, but she still hoped that they were always this close.

 

. . .

 

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere quiet.”

“I’d appreciate quiet.”

“I thought you might,” he told her. “Plus, no crowd…no audience of any kind…”

Felicity smiled. She’d half thought that he’d have bought out a restaurant for the night. She wouldn’t have liked that, with people just staring at them. Plus, she really hadn’t dressed for it. She was wearing a bright pink blouse, black skirt with a dachshund mutli-color print, bright pink heels, and a black coat. She really wasn’t in the mood for a formal atmosphere; especially if it was going to be them talking about their relationship and anything else was also really possible.

The car pulled to a stop and Felicity looked around. It was dark and Felicity realized that she had no idea where they were. She didn’t know every bit of Starling City or The Glades, but this definitely didn’t seem familiar. There were clusters of trees and there was just a lot of green in general. Maybe she should have paid more attention during the drive instead of staring at Oliver so much. 

“Where are we?” 

“You trust me, right?” he asked.

“You know I do,” she responded. 

“Then let’s get out of the car,” Oliver told her as he pulled the key from the ignition. “And you’ll find out…”

“Quiet and no audience, right?” she asked, trying to get confirmation into what she was getting herself into. She unlatched her seat belt and had her hand on the door handle as she waited for his response.

“That was the plan,” Oliver replied. “I can’t help it if people happen to have the same idea as I did, though.”

They both got out of the car and Oliver was at the back, pulling things from the trunk. Felicity went around to inspect what was going on and found that Oliver was trying to balance far too many things. At this rate, whatever he had planned would be ruined because he was going to drop it all on the ground. 

“I can help,” Felicity offered. “Unless this is some kind of guy thing…where they have to manage to carry a whole trunk full of items over in one swoop… As fit as you are, I don’t think that’s going to happen without food on the ground…”

He laughed before he was handing her a folded blanket and a bottle of wine. 

Felicity stared at the wine. “Are you planning on getting me drunk, Mr. Queen?” she teased.

“I have more,” he said as he gestured to the two extra bottles in his trunk. “But I think we’ll be okay with one…unless I really screw up…then I have back-up.”

She just smiled in response. “So, are you going to clue me in yet?”

“You’ll see,” Oliver told her as he closed the trunk. He was carrying a small box with Chinese food boxes and had slung a bag over his shoulder. 

Felicity didn’t know what was in the bag, but she assumed that it contained glasses or cups of some kind unless they were drinking directly from the bottle…and maybe a bottle opener. She was fairly sure that there was no wine with a twist off top. She followed him as he headed towards the trees. She looked around, the place was vacant. “Should we even be here?”

“It’s fine,” Oliver told her. “We’re not going to get into any trouble.”

“I feel like this is one of those places where you’re not supposed to occupy after the sun goes down.”

“I have permission.”

“It’s like the actual asking type of permission, right? Not the, I’m Oliver Queen, kind of permission?”

“What?”

“I just want to make sure we’re not going to end up in jail for trespassing.”

“I doubt we’d be thrown in jail even if we didn’t have permission,” Oliver said as he shook his head as they continued. 

“You really aren’t buddy-buddy with cops,” Felicity countered.

They were on a small trail and it only took another second before the large tree with the handmade swing came into view. It was like some kind of nature park…or maybe it was a place where people got married. Felicity didn’t know, but it was beautiful. Trees, shrubs, flowers, green, everywhere. 

“True,” Oliver responded. “But we have permission.” He stopped and set down the items that he’d been carrying before taking the blanket from her. He spread it out and then sat down and started to arrange everything.

It took Felicity a moment before she finally sat down as well and set the wine out between them. This really was a nice change. A late night picnic. It was a little creepy, but she knew that Oliver would keep her safe from the creepy shadows. As if he sensed her thoughts on the creep factor of things, he pulled out some battery-operated candles and spread them out once he had turned them on. It didn’t matter that they were battery-operated. They were just as beautiful and romantic as the real thing. 

“I hope this is acceptable,” he said as he started to open the Chinese food. “Hopefully it’s not horrible that I think it’s perfectly fine eating out of the to-go boxes with chopsticks.”

Felicity laughed. “Good thing that I’m not worried about catching germs from you,” she teased. She picked up a chopstick set, separated them, and then started to examine the choices that Oliver had made as far as the food went. “I’m pretty sure we practically do this at the Foundry…”

“We normally have our own boxes,” Oliver argued as he dove into a box with his chopsticks. 

“You and Digg are always swiping my stuff when you think I’m done,” Felicity argued. “I’m normally just too shocked or trying to be nice that I don’t point out that I wasn’t done with it.”

Oliver smiled. “Well, you know, we were more worried that it would go to waste.”

“No food ever goes to waste when you and Digg are around,” Felicity pointed out.

“Fair.”

“So… You do get points for all of this… It’s beautiful…”

“They hold events here… There’s a hedge maze and a kids’ area on the other side,” Oliver explained as he vaguely waved his hand in the direction he was talking about. “I thought it would be fun…and it’s quiet…and less chance of us getting interrupted than if we were at an actual public park…”

“Are we going to be serious talking or…just talking about random things?” Felicity asked. “Or should I not ask that?” she added a moment later, cringing slightly. Felicity was nervous. It was a little sad, but she was. She supposed that it was because everything was different between them. She wanted to be with Oliver, but then at the same time she hadn’t really expected it…even if they’d been close. Felicity wasn’t even sure if she was ready for it. 

He’d told her so many times that he loved her.

She loved him.

But it wasn’t that easy. It wasn’t like some Disney princess movie. That wasn’t enough in her life…in their life. There was real danger. There were traumas on both ends. There would be a lot to work through. A relationship wouldn’t be easy. Felicity didn’t even know if it was smart because of Team Arrow (she was determined to keep Team Arrow going as much as Queen Consolidated). 

“It’s okay,” he said. Oliver let out a chuckle. “I don’t think I’ve been so nervous to talk to you,” he admitted. “I figured you knew why we were here…”

“Because Digg told you to ask me out?”

Oliver nodded.

“You don’t have to,” Felicity told him. “I was just as surprised when he said that—“

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Oliver said quickly. “It’s just… I had thought about waiting…”

“We can wait,” she piped up. Felicity didn’t know how to feel about that. He was obviously nervous. Possibly just as nervous as she was. Was it just because they both were a little worried about what the future would bring? “No rushing…”

“I’m not rushing,” Oliver said gently. “I just… I know things are in motion. We haven’t gotten the green light for Queen Consolidated from the board. The last several months have been a lot on both of us… We’re both settling back in… And—“

“Oliver,” Felicity interrupted. She reached out and put her hand on his. “It’s okay if you’re not ready.”

“I want to be,” Oliver told her slowly and quietly.

“So do I,” Felicity confirmed. 

“I just feel like—“ He paused.

“Oliver?”

“I just feel like I don’t want to ever let you far from my sight again,” he admitted. “I want us to live together…even if it’s separate bedrooms.” Oliver sighed. “That sounds kind of creepy…”

Felicity laughed. “I understand what you mean… About living together.” She paused for a moment. “I’m so much more comfortable with you close by… I know I’m safe… And—and I love you… I want there to be more of a physical relationship between us, but—“

“You’re not ready?”

“No,” she barely whispered and looked down. She fidgeted. Felicity let a few tears fall. She didn’t know how long it was going to take her to heal. She had thought that if she was with someone that she loved and truly trusted that it would be okay. Oliver was that person. But it wasn’t okay. Sometimes it was and sometimes it wasn’t. 

Oliver with quiet as he confided a truth. “I’m not either.”

Silence passed between them.

“I went to the island to find myself… I came back and found you…and it was like then, I started to heal…” Oliver tried to explain. “That time on the island, it wasn’t the rehab everyone hoped it would be…” He looked directly at her. “You’re my anchor in this world, Felicity…”

She got up on her knees and reached across to place her hands on either side of his face. Her thumbs brushed his cheeks. Felicity moved her face, so that it was only a few inches from his. “And I will always be here for you, Oliver…” she whispered. Tears fell from her face. She leaned in and kissed him, but only for a moment. She pulled back and dropped one of his hands to his heart. “But one day, I might not be here…and you have to remember that I’m still with you…”

“Don’t—“

“I’m always here with you, Oliver,” she said with more emphasis as she pressed her hand a bit heavier against him. 

“So, where does that leave us?” he asked as he looked up at her.

Felicity smiled. She stroked his cheek as she stared into his eyes. “I think we’re both on the same page… I love you. You love me. We’re not quite ready for everything. I think, though, that maybe we could talk about living together…if that’s what you want too…but not at the Queen Mansion.” Felicity still was terrified of having to run into Moira Queen and having to endure looks or comments. 

Plus, they needed space… 

“I want to,” Oliver told her. He let out a low laugh. “It’s a big step…probably the biggest step I’ve ever committed to up until this point in my life.” He smiled at her. Oliver pushed the Chinese boxes to the side and pulled her closer. They kissed and he held onto her. 

Felicity didn’t want to let go. “This might change things, though…”

“Like what?”

“How would it look if you dated your assistant?”

“Does it count if we’re dating before I’m reinstated as CEO?”

“Yes.”

Oliver was quiet for a moment. “Can we both be CEO?”

“I’ll pass, thanks,” she responded with a laugh. She pulled back and looked at him. “I’m pretty sure that the whole point of the presentation to the board was to reinstate the Queens to running Queen Consolidated…”

“If we didn’t both agree that not rushing was a good plan, I’d suggest a way to still make that possible,” Oliver teased.

“So slow,” she warned, holding up a hand. Felicity moved away from him and sat back on the blanket. She had to admit, though, it wasn’t like she couldn’t see herself being with Oliver in a year…or even farther. There was also the fact that she could see herself waking up every morning in bed with him, in his arms. 

“I didn’t mean to push, I was just saying…out loud…what I was thinking… You’re rubbing off on me,” he told her. He looked confused at first and then smiled at her. “I just… There’s so much that’s going on and that’s gone on. You’re my constant.”

“You do realize that I’m probably not the most healthy person for you to decide to move into.”

“Just as long as you realize it goes the same for me,” Oliver countered.

And she’d known that.

Oliver hadn’t been the healthiest person to be friends with or close to for a long time. The island had changed him in many ways. A lot of what Oliver brought along with him were skeletons in his closet…sometimes he didn’t even know they were there. One thing was for sure, they couldn’t let the ghosts haunt them… 

“What about your mom?” Felicity asked suddenly. The only reason the mansion had been so crowded was because of Oliver. Roy and Thea normally didn’t stay there. Neither did she or Diggle. Sara also didn’t normally hide out there. So, with everyone gone…plus Oliver, that left only Moira. 

“Let’s just hope that mom reconciles with Walter.”

Felicity beamed a bit more. “You might have to push them together for more meals…”

“I think that they might catch on…”

“Maybe they might not mind being tricked.”

“Does this mean we’re really doing this?”

“As long as we find a place. Not mine. Not yours. A place where we can make a fresh start. Together.”

“I like that.”

“And…it has to be something we agree on… We need to do the apartment hunting together… Not something crazy…”

Oliver smiled. “I think simple is the best idea.”

“Simple and intimate,” Felicity agreed. Now she couldn’t wait to go apartment hunting with Oliver. She wasn’t sure what Diggle had hoped would happen, but she doubted that he’d expect this. She doubted anyone would expect them to just jump to moving in together. “Also, how are you going to tell your mother? I’m still fairly sure she expects you to marry Laurel…or someone else from your childhood…”

“My mother loves you.”

“She really doesn’t.”

“She’s working on it.”

Felicity just stared at him. “You’re doing it when I’m not there.”

 

. . .

 

Queen Consolidated was back on track, or so she liked to think. Oliver was the CEO again, even though Isabel was still there. She’d acted like it was a big relief and a load off of her plate, but Felicity knew that she was pissed. Isabel was still going to be an obstacle and she’d made it particularly clear that she didn’t like her relationship with Oliver. Oliver had already talked to HR or something in which she had to sign something about their relationship and being professional and something else about sexual harassment. Basically, Felicity knew that she had to be professional, which wasn’t a problem. 

“Mr. Queen.”

“Ms. Smoak.”

This was how it was everyday. It didn’t mean that things were dull between them. It wasn’t. It was actually even better than she’d thought. She and Oliver had been living together for a month now and things were getting better everyday. They exchanged smiles, looks, and banter at work. Oliver had flowers delivered to the office once a week. Felicity would always hide the card away since Isabel tended to be nosey, but she always knew whom they were from. But they’d steal kisses away when they were out on their way to lunch. 

Their relationship wasn’t what mattered at QC though. The company was doing well. Morale even was reported to be up. The company was doing well with the community as well as with consumers as well. The board was overjoyed by the numbers, they were better than before but not enough to keep Oliver in the best of favor with them just yet.

“Are you ready for your plans this evening?”

“Which ones?”

Oliver grinned. “You have multiple plans?”

“I always have a standing date.”

“Oh?”

“He requires my professional expertise…”

“So do I.”

“He’s a hero.”

“Should I be jealous?”

Felicity beamed. “Insecure?”

“He sounds like he takes up a lot of your time.”

“It seems like almost all of my time is spent with him…” Felicity continued to play along. She smiled at him. “But before I leave… I need to remind you to look over that e-mail from Ms. Rochev in your inbox.”

“I don’t think it’s in there.”

“Oh, it’s in there. She CC-ed me. She made a point of making a point of making sure that I knew that you needed to reply to that e-mail before five-fifteen. You have five minutes to do that.”

“It can wait—“

“No. Do it.”

“Felicity—“

“Do it, Oliver. QC business has to be complete by the end of everyday before we leave. That’s what we said,” Felicity reminded him firmly. She knew that sometimes Oliver liked to push things off to the next day, but things that involved Isabel Rochev could not be delayed. They couldn’t get into any hot water with her or the board. “We still have plenty of time before we have to leave for dinner.”

“It’s going to take me—“

“It’ll give me enough time to run home and change,” Felicity told him. “You’re okay with me meeting you there, right?”

“Why do you need to change?” he asked curiously.

Normally, Felicity wouldn’t change between Queen Consolidated and reporting in for her night job at the Foundry. But today she’d just decided she was done wearing the tight form fitting grey and blue dress she’d been wearing all day. Felicity just wanted to change into something a little more comfortable and less formal. It wasn’t often that she was allowed to dress casually because of her job…and because it just made more sense not to change in between QC and Team Arrow. 

“I just want to change…be a little more comfortable,” Felicity told him. “It’s been a long day…in heels… Jeans, shirt, and flats would make a big difference.”

“Do you still want Chinese?” 

Felicity nodded. “But…I was thinking that maybe you should request John to join us… It would be nice…”

“What about Speedy and Roy?”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be up for another family meal after last night,” Felicity teased. 

Oliver grinned. “This is a little different of a family meal…”

“You’re right, you and Thea will somehow initiate food throwing…”

He laughed. “Thea always starts it.”

Felicity looked around. No one was around. Normally, most people fled the building fairly quickly once the day was done. She leaned in and kissed him quickly before straightening again. “No food fighting tonight,” she told him. “E-mail Isabel. Text everyone. Call in the food.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Magic.”

“Magic?”

“Do you think that being a genius requires me to merely show up every night?” she teased.

Oliver smiled at her. “What does it require?”

“A lot.”

“Flowers?”

“Flowers do help with morale…” Felicity told him. “But so does taking a quick shower… Making hair cooperate… Finding something that is both comfy and not distracting. Last time I wore my panda shoes, Roy kept running into things… I think they distracted him too much.”

“Oh-kay…”

“I’ll see you soon,” she whispered. 

Felicity hadn’t been sure about how their relationship would work out, but it was this great thing. It wasn’t as intimate as most people probably expected it to be, but that didn’t mean that they were any less close. They were incredibly close and Oliver had becoming more observant. Maybe it was because he was more aware that he needed to become better at seeing things right in front of him, especially when it involved her or maybe it was just a superpower he was slowly developing. 

“Soon,” he echoed.

Felicity gathered up her coat and headed out after giving him one last wave. 

When Malcolm Merlyn had given her the choice all those months ago, Felicity had never expected to be there. She’d never expected to have a second chance at her life. Never to have a second chance at really loving working at Queen Consolidated, even as Oliver’s executive assistant. 

A second chance at loving Oliver Queen. At being happy and being in a healthy (for the most part) relationship with communication, respect, and boundaries. They both might not be the best people as far as being one hundred percent as far as physical and mental checks, but they were healing. Felicity and Oliver had really been perfecting communicating between the two of them and respecting the other’s boundaries.

This second chance…it was almost like being given another life…

 

. . .

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and especially kudos/comment! I'm so glad that you've enjoyed!
> 
> Will be working on "Unconditional", though it will not be as long as this fic! I also have a Slade/island fic in my head. 
> 
> Keep up to date with upcoming stories and ideas on my blog. I'll also be posting the commentary for this fic, which will include the alternate routes I could have taken with this fic. Sometimes it's fun to read. This one I've already started since there were so many options at some points!   
> http://shannyfish11.blogspot.com/
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on twitter @shannyfish for updates. I'm trying to use it more.


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